Make up a really dumb quote/question

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i think there is a need for an anti-dictionary.
a dictionary of non meanings if you will. every word entry into the anti-dictionary would have following it, a list of every word that it can not be used interchangeably with.
it would be a very large book, but at least it would do something to quell the preponderance of incorrect words used in general conversation.

i got $50.02 worth of petrol today, and i only had to pay $50 for it (bargain!).
that is because in australia, anything less than 2.5 cents is rounded down to zero, and anything above 2.5 cents is rounded up to 5 cents.

thank goodness i stopped it at $50.02, because if i had stopped it at $50.03, i would have had to pay $50.05, and i would have been ripped off 2 cents (by george there would have been fireworks in that case).

so i wonder if i continuously put 2 cents worth of petrol in my tank and go in to pay and be told that it is zero cost, and demand they reset the meter and perform that action over and over again until my tank is full, whether i will have received a full tank of petrol for free.

well worth a try i guess.

What's the difference between a chimney?

What's 911's number?

What's the answer to 1 + 1 = 2?

If copy machines can reproduce, then why aren't they alive?

Can you eat a bread box?

The following question is apparently real, but the answer is made up:

Q: Whenever I've seen Canada in movies it's always full of ice and snow. How do plants grow there?
A: They don't. We just import them from other countries, put them in the ground, and then watch them die.

I heard that hard work never killed anybody, but why should I run the risk of being the first victim?

Why does my mum want me to be normal?

What are you charging for these free samples?

How the hell does my teacher expect us to know the 100 times table? 100 is a big number! I'm gonna fail my math exam for sure

My boyfriend's 17 and I'm 18, would that make me a paedophile???

I am such a genius! I'm going to give birth to puppies! I tried sex with my dog. I can't believe nobody has thought of that before!

(Facebook update)
Oh my God I've just realized my pin number is 1998, which is my birth year! Now I'll never forget it!!

^i bloody hope not, my gf is 16 and i'm 19 next month.

Lillikoi wrote:

If copy machines can reproduce, then why aren't they alive?

they contain no cells or genetic information.

Isn't it weird how only wrong people disagree with me?

Do you purr when you hiss like a purse?
Is the rainbow made of skittles?
If I fart, would that be enough gas to fill up the tank of my car?
How much is one dollar?
If I lick a Tootsiepop would I never know how many licks it takes to get to the center of the Tootsieroll?

What's the difference between a cow pie and an Eskimo Pie?

"I'm against the death penalty, because it's immoral to kill people who were alive before."
(I didn't invent this, I actually read it on a death penalty thread on another forum )