DataB4 wrote:
dragonsanddemons wrote:
I wish there was at least an easy way for me to know if I should be hospitalized for my mental issues or not. It's a lot easier to tell for physical issues.
I still have thoughts of suicide, but am no longer thinking I'm actually going to do it anytime soon. I am, however, afraid I might accidentally do serious damage, or kill myself, with my self-harm.
That sounds like a healthy fear to me. If you don't think the fear will prevent you from seriously harming yourself, then being hospitalized would be the safer option over serious harm, right? Therapists can also help you figure all this out if your urge isn’t immediate, you said you haven't tried that yet?
I saw a therapist for a while and now am seeing a psychiatrist. The therapist would spend at least half of the hour-long appointment with small talk, and I never felt like we actually accomplished anything. I had one appointment with the psychiatrist earlier this month, but it was just intake stuff and medication adjustment. I have a follow-up appointment in two weeks, but if it's going to keep being a month or more between appointments, that isn't going to be sufficient. I get the urge to see myself bleed at least a few times a week.
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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"