What's on your mind right now?

Post Reply New Topic

There is someone who I think is really awesome, but I'm not sure if they feel the same way about me.

"1,000 years of time and space and I've never met anyone who isn't important." The Eleventh Doctor

It seems like every Dick, Jane, Bob, and their mother wants to talk to me right now, and I... I can't.

Nothing much except I had a funny day yesterday all day long, and still doing things at 4AM, then waking up in less than 3 hours, and there's no work yet until tomorrow.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

a couple minutes ago, i applied for volunteering at a suicide hotline.

curious about what rules the volunteers have to follow

that kind of job does not sound the slightest bit boring.

on the other hand boredom could be a good thing

I was excused from the speeches because everyone knows I'm ret*d.

looked on the community college's internship list.

of them, i have either applied for them before, or do not fulfill the skills. other than that, it's only 2 or 3 left.

out of an entire list.

and this is just community college

seriously i feel so ashamed stupid and useless

I think this video sums up my mind at the moment

wish i joined the military when i was young. so i could belong to something. and the military is not an "at will" employer. can't just get fired or laid off. the commanding officer has to fill out a lot of paperwork before Bad Conduct Discharge. and even then, it takes a long time to get processed out of Basic Training or Advanced Individual Training.

some civilians act like veterans are superhuman heroes. martyrs.

even though some enlisted Military Occupational Specialties are things like Finance Technician, Plumber. Shower, laundry and clothing repair specialist.

not just Infantry

and if i were to have enlisted, maybe civilians would treat me better. more respect.

but whatever. maybe the civilians would not have known or cared that i was a veteran.

or maybe someone would already have exterminated me. or taken me Prisoner or War. or maybe i would've gotten permanent profound physical injuries. maybe someone would've hazed or raped me. maybe someone would've framed me for a crime and sent me to the brig. Dishonorable Discharge.

or maybe i would've ended up a homeless veteran. with no VA benefits. end up an unemployed veteran.

but the military life appears, from the media, so fascinating. sure, the ads could be the good, the bad, the ugly. and not a correct representation. (fine). but certainly has purpose and meaning. interesting and captivating.

civilian jobs seem (to me) so meaningless. it's like do the same thing over and over. and get nowhere.

oh well whatever

what's so great about the military anyways, besides that some civilians worship the military?

You-know-what, AGT, and this forum.

I actually don't-know-what.

feel like a lost cause

beyond repair

too far gone

"a day late, a dollar short"

pretty soon, McDonalds will reject my worthless corpse for Crew Member

feel like exhausted all the options

can't have friends

can't have a job

things are "As Good As it Gets". my "life" can and will only rapidly get much worse.

thus i am so ashamed

wish i was academically smart, structural engineer, Air Force, skinny, handsome, neurotypical, cisgender, socially adept, emotionally resilient,

wish i had friends