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04 May 2024, 10:18 am
04 May 2024, 10:27 am
Edna3362 wrote:
Yes, I feel rejected and somehow betrayed for leaving me out of something after I got invited. 
Sigh.
How do I... Deprogram this 'expectation'?
To prevent future emotions. Unnecessary setbacks due to inappropriate reactions.
It implies few things; one, being hopeful to whatever hypothetical fantasy such event I was invited into.
Two, one of the novelties I rarely able to go to.
But also three; my subconscious takes it as a sign of distrust over 'how I would behave myself'. It's like a pouting child...
On a verge of tantrum and wanting to complain about it.
And despite knowing that it's no longer professional -- that I'm just another adult, not some kid to drag along...
I want the rational reasoning route.
That I can just accept the lack of feedback or the "subtle rejection" as my less rational part of me concluded.
No need to go through stages and phases -- just go straight to the accept of the fact.
And since I like to make do with what I get...
And now that my relationship with emotions changed; I shall take this reaction as an opportunity for me to learn and grow for real.
Maybe it'll be the key for me to finally hijack the elusive subconscious.
Maybe I'll finally able to solve and eventually master re-parenting for good.
Yes -- a single opportunity for me to be stable and encountering this experience is all I need to figure and progress.
Except this time -- I no longer had to wait for the luck with myself to be in a stable and regulated state.
Sigh.
How do I... Deprogram this 'expectation'?
To prevent future emotions. Unnecessary setbacks due to inappropriate reactions.
It implies few things; one, being hopeful to whatever hypothetical fantasy such event I was invited into.
Two, one of the novelties I rarely able to go to.
But also three; my subconscious takes it as a sign of distrust over 'how I would behave myself'. It's like a pouting child...
On a verge of tantrum and wanting to complain about it.And despite knowing that it's no longer professional -- that I'm just another adult, not some kid to drag along...
I want the rational reasoning route.
That I can just accept the lack of feedback or the "subtle rejection" as my less rational part of me concluded.
No need to go through stages and phases -- just go straight to the accept of the fact.
And since I like to make do with what I get...
And now that my relationship with emotions changed; I shall take this reaction as an opportunity for me to learn and grow for real.
Maybe it'll be the key for me to finally hijack the elusive subconscious.
Maybe I'll finally able to solve and eventually master re-parenting for good.
Yes -- a single opportunity for me to be stable and encountering this experience is all I need to figure and progress.
Except this time -- I no longer had to wait for the luck with myself to be in a stable and regulated state.
Yessss I love how you're making sense of all of this Edna. I think you're going through a lot of changes in your life and you're doing really well actually
04 May 2024, 11:08 am
04 May 2024, 12:10 pm
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04 May 2024, 5:51 pm
funeralxempire
Veteran
Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,854
Location: Right over your left shoulder
04 May 2024, 6:20 pm
04 May 2024, 7:17 pm
04 May 2024, 7:32 pm
Potot
Potatoessssssss
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He/him they/them
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Feel free to send me a PM!
04 May 2024, 10:04 pm
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