Men's Discussion

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Um, since when was staying at home looking after the kids ok for one sex but not another? Sure it's more common for women to do that, but if both are happy with it, what is wrong with the man doing it? That suddenly makes him a stay-at-home bum does it? What abouit the women doing the same thing? Are they stay-at-home bums too?

And I think I made it clear in my post that if that's what she wants to do (stay at home and look after the kids) then that's perfectly fine. I would happily have that arrangement with my (hypothetical) wife/gf in an ideal world.

I would absolutely love to stay at home with my son all day. If you called me a bum for it I would take great offense. Do you even have any children?

I fix stuff, usually after I have broken them. In fact, I really don't know what the hell I am doing like most men, but feel it important that I talk like I do when you're fixing your combustalator or your surface modulator interface. I laugh in the face of danger, except when I drop something on my toe, then I shriek like a little girl. I learn by the degree of pain that is induced. I am in constant motion satisfying some itch. I have placed myself in jeopardy by jumping from perfectly good planes, climbing precipices while hanging my backside into the breeze, and falling into ice cold, foamy rapids all in the name of fun. I shave with a dull razor and I've never tried moisturizer in my life. I have never understood how the women can keep their hands of me.

Actually, when I said that I was referring to how I view myself. Hopefully I'll be getting the managerial role I was offered last fall shortly, but until then (or until I have a job otherwise) I do consider myself to be a bum. It stinks to be unemployed. It makes me want to conquer the universe.

Totally misunderstood your post. I thought you were saying all men in that situation are bums

If that is what you want but you're unable to get it atm for financial/employment reasons, then I guess there's nothing you can do but keep looking for the opportunities

Yeah. Even that gets emotionally tiring after a while though as most employers either ignore me or tell me directly that they wont hire me.

Why aren't they hiring you?

That is something that I have spent so many hours in speculation and conjecture over that it tends to ensure constant depression as soon as I start thinking of possibilities as to why.

Well, whatever our disagreements, I hope you get the managerial role you're looking for

Thanks.

Ironically I'm trying to avoid the managerial part of my job because I am really bad at being assertive. Back OT, I don't do anything these days to reinforce / maintain my masculinity. It used to be a big insecurity for me but nowadays I distance myself from any gender-specific behaviour patterns. I would like to go back to the gym and bulk up one day but that's only to feel less vulnerable and feel more attractive, not to feel more male.

What would be the difference?

Masculinity isn't something to be ashamed of unless you have a different idea of what it is.

Even with my communistic philosophy of economic sharing, the guy's likely to end up subsidising his pregnant wife, and if you have kids then there will be overheads. Nothing wrong with that. But equally, there's nothing wrong with not wishing to provide for somebody who is perfectly capable of pulling their own weight.

There is also a danger of the man becoming too powerful because of his major role in bringing money into the relationship - I think it's important that the woman doesn't feel she has to stay in a bad marriage just because of her economic dependence on Hubbie. That's bad for the guy as well as the woman - he's never going to know if she loves him for himself of for his money.....many relationships collapse when the guy loses his job, and although some of that is down to the obvious pressures of the situation, I think that sometimes it's the breadwinner faliure that causes the woman to lose respect for her man. I wouldn't want to stake a relationship on the fickleties of the jobs market.

But, if you can find a stable job you like that pays well, you might go that way and be happy enough. For me, it's practically a death sentence just to have to work for my own support, so the idea of subsidising others who don't have to suffer the misery of the workplace just seems completely unfair......in fact my worst ever phase of anxiety was when I was the sole breadwinner for my partner, her 3 kids, and my son. Sadly my employer started applying pressure at the worst possible time, when I felt unable to just pack it in. My wife showed me very little sympathy, and just applied further pressure on me in my hour of need. As far as she was concerned, I was just being a baby. I still haven't forgiven her.

Another topic of interest:

With the amount of topics and quality of posts that we can easily have for a potential forum, do you think it's reasonable that men (Aspie men, mind you) don't have their own forum here?

Yes, why of course it's reasonable. Men are not women, therefore men are evil.

So A is not equal to B. Therefore, A is equal to C?