Post your favorite puns!

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30 Mar 2016, 1:57 am

In my opinion, puns are the best kind of joke. Here are my top 3 favorites:

What do you call a psychic midget who escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.

Why did the scarecrow win an award?
He was out standing in his field.

What do you call a snarky criminal falling down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.

Here are some more great puns:

Why did the hipster burn his hand?
He tried to change a light bulb before it was cool.

And I have been laughing at this all day:

What puns left you rolling on the floor laughing? Please do share them.

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ChuckShurley
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30 Mar 2016, 3:35 am

Skeletons are great brass musicians. They're great at playing the tromBONE.

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auntblabby
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30 Mar 2016, 3:49 am

when I was in the army, it seemed like every other person was a brasshole.

Brainfre3ze_93
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30 Mar 2016, 7:18 am

Why couldn't the gardener plant any flowers?

He hadn't botany!

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auntblabby
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30 Mar 2016, 3:25 pm

^^^ that pun is just peaches and scream :mrgreen:

Kuraudo777
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30 Mar 2016, 3:51 pm

What did the zen Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

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auntblabby
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30 Mar 2016, 4:06 pm

^^that one was punderful. :star:

Earthbound
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30 Mar 2016, 6:12 pm

How do construction workers party? They raise the roof.

did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? great food but no atmosphere.

whats a foot long, made of leather and sounds like a sneeze? A shoe.

what do you call a cold burrito? a brrrrrito

(Not sure if all these are puns, but still so funny!)

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30 Mar 2016, 6:33 pm

jeopardy question and answer-
a device for measuring car accidents.
"what is a collidascope"?

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30 Mar 2016, 7:10 pm

Kuraudo777 wrote:

What did the zen Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

The vendor gave the Buddhist his hot dog. The Buddhist said, "Hey, where's my change?" The vendor said, "Change must come from within."

A couple had identical twins. They decided to give them up for adoption. The first twin was adopted by a Spanish family, who named him Juan. The second twin was adopted by a Middle Eastern family, who named him Amal. A couple years later, the couple received a photo of Juan in the mail from his adoptive family. The mom was happy, but remarked that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. The dad said, "Why does it matter? If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal!"

auntblabby
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30 Mar 2016, 7:12 pm

What do you get when you cross a robot and a tractor?
A transfarmer.

dcj123
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30 Mar 2016, 7:12 pm

auntblabby
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30 Mar 2016, 7:34 pm

Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?
Because he was out standing in his field!

CaptLasik
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31 Mar 2016, 4:56 am

Why do anarchists drink herbal tea?
Because proper tea is theft.

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Brainfre3ze_93
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31 Mar 2016, 8:12 am

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auntblabby
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31 Mar 2016, 3:05 pm

Why shouldn't you tell a secret on a farm?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears!

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