I'm scared of walking alone outside after 9pm

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BuyerBeware
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25 Jul 2017, 12:39 pm

I see nothing sexist about walking with someone for protection; the personal safety advice we were always given in college was to go in a group and stay with the group. Sexual harassment and assault are crimes of opportunity; make yourself a hard target and you reduce your likelihood of being a victim.

That said-- It needs to be stressed, INFINITELY, that these are actions committed by selfish, weak, pathetic slimeballs lacking so much in self-control as to be lacking in humanity. There's nothing sexist about safety in numbers...

...but there is EVERYHTING sexist about the idea that a woman out alone, or after a certain hour, or dressed in a certain manner is "asking for it."

I was ALWAYS out alone (if I'd waited to have a group, I never would have gone anywhere or done anything). At all hours of the day and night. In the daytime, I took fewer pains to be aware of my surroundings, tried to make myself small, and was generally on edge because of all the people. And sure enough, if I was going to be harassed, it was going to be in a busy area in broad daylight. At night, I KNEW I was taking a risk. I stayed alert, scanned my surroundings constantly, and moved like I owned the place because I was in my element. Nobody even TRIED to cross me; the few people that approached to do so much as bum a light said "Please" and "Thank you" and got on about their business.

There is much to be said for what is taught in self-defense classes about body language, purposeful movement, and situational awareness.


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MindBlind
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29 Sep 2017, 7:18 pm

I live in a city with a very violent reputation so I guess I'm kind of desensitised to it. I'm mostly afraid of being mugged tbh. I don't really get catcalled at all though when I have it's not really scary to me. Just annoying.

Most of the time I don't acknowledge them or say anything but sometimes I've resorted to expletives and shouting. I don't care about being rude. It's actually a good idea to make a scene when someone won't leave you alone. It's worked for me, anyway.

Most of the time, however, it's pretty safe. The worst I tend to face is the occasional drunken moron or (tragically) a homeless junkie trying to get by. That s**t gets to me. And in my experience, women are also really awful drunks (and they fight nasty, too).

Oh well. My advice is to take reasonable precautions (as anyone would) and not let your fear stop you from living your life. Just remember that danger doesn't have a curfew and you can die or be harmed any time, anywhere. So unless you're prepared to be a hermit forever, I think you just have to take the risk.



Lunella
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10 Oct 2017, 7:16 am

In my city girls are often told to not go out on their own at night (unless of course they can handle themselves). I often don't as there are far too many idiots on the streets, then again we have British drinking culture which typically tends to lead to dangerous situations.

I much prefer going out to clubs and stuff when I have a friend with me who can do some actual damage, for example I have a really tough lesbian friend I go out with sometimes and you always feel safe going out with her as she doesn't take crap from anyone and she's thrown guys through tables and walls before. So, in my eyes the concept of having only a male to defend you is a bit boring and old fashioned, it just depends if the person can handle themselves or not, if not then don't go out on your own in a rough city, simples.

For actually going to a shop or something on my own late at night in the city I live in I simply don't do it. You can have all the street smarts in the world but it takes that one time to completely mess your life and mental health up and I won't put myself at risk seeing as I'd basically become a target and not a person for the f****d up individuals who are willing to selfishly ruin someones life.


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