Aspie women: how is your workforce experience?

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Dragonz_oz
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24 Jul 2016, 5:16 am

I've had lots of problems in the workforce in the past, due to social issues. I work for myself now, and have managed to find clients where I fit in ok at the workplaces (one place is full of Aspie's, another workplace I work with one guy only, the last one has nice, accepting women). It took many years to get to this point, with maturity came confidence also.

I am unable to work full-time though, as I don't have that level of energy or focus.

I think agree that environments with more males can work better for Aspie women.



seaweed
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25 Jul 2016, 2:56 pm

i do well at jobs where i have no coworkers or very few coworkers. i've worked at the same library for 4+ years and monitored a metal shop for 2. i cannot handle food service in any form. i think that what the shop and the library have in common is what works for me...the work is mostly individual and i only have to help familiar people or at least people who are asking familiar and specific questions. it's very clear how i should interact with people in both situations because in the library they are trying to locate materials and study and in the shops they are trying to work on projects and learn how to use the equipment. it's my favorite type of service job because i can offer them something useful and appreciated, whereas people tend to expect food and the social value of the food service is important. if someone is being rude or unmanageable in the shop or the library i can kick them out or withhold information from them as part of my job, whereas in food service one is forced to be a kiss ass and let people get away with anything for their $.



Kuraudo777
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25 Jul 2016, 5:32 pm

^I might like to work in a library when I'm not working on a new story or painting.


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seaweed
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26 Jul 2016, 2:58 pm

Kuraudo777 wrote:
^I might like to work in a library when I'm not working on a new story or painting.


i highly recommend library work. you have to get a degree in library science to actually be a "librarian", and my boss tells me that the degree requirements are easy and the workload is manageable. but you can be what i am, a "librarian's assistant" with no formal library education.



Quiet Water
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31 Jul 2016, 6:18 pm

My supervisors have commented negatively on my literal-mindedness, but are also pleased that I tend to notice details others miss - I wonder now and then whether I should tell them that both are likely caused by my mind being structured a bit differently than most. I'm also at a point where co-workers of similar age and experience are supervisors, or at least trying to get promoted to that level, but supervising requires at least as much social prowess as technical so I've likely advanced as far as I can as an engineer. (Regarding workplace gender balance, the ratio was about 10 M:1 F when I started but has been getting more even in recent years.)



slw1990
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31 Jul 2016, 9:43 pm

I work part-time in the backroom of a retail store, but I often work full-time hours so I want to try to switch to full-time. I usually like it because there's always something to do so it makes the time go by fast. I've been working there for almost 4 years, but I worked as a fitting room associate at another store before that. It was still the same company though. I sometimes struggled with the customers as a fitting room associate and I didn't like it as much because there wasn't a lot for me to do. I get mistreated by some of my coworkers, but there a lot of them are respectful towards me. I was recently told that I excelled in communication skills, interpersonal skills and being a team player. I was really shocked about that because I'm usually very quiet and I sometimes have trouble interacting with my coworkers. I've been trying to get a job as a phlebotomist or a lab assistant because it doesn't seem like they would require a lot of interaction and I think most interaction might be able to be scripted.



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02 Aug 2016, 12:37 pm

I am nearing 40's i was thrown out of most jobs.

My last job as a teacher i was thrown out badly humiliated, insulted and verbally abused.

I dont have guts to enter work market after that.

I am married with a kid so my day involves washing, cooking, cleaning, dusting, grocery shopping,
its a tiring thing in itself and doing any job is like juggling too much

plus i suffer from hypothyroid which makes me weak and less energetic.


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02 Aug 2016, 1:01 pm

I was a vet tech until I had my first kid. The longest I held a job was 3 years for a very explosive, abusive, boss. My upbringing was similar, so I didn't realize how bad it was until the day I walked out. Most vets only had a few employees and I've worked for large, small, exotic and marine. I always seemed to end up with the nasty and abusive vets and would quit once I figured it out. The place I worked at for 3 years, I had co-workers that were so amazing and treated me better than any people ever did. I miss them. I lived in California back then. I know I could NOT do that job anymore. My sensory difficulties have worsened and so has my health. I have several autoimmune disorders and never know how sick I'll be the next day. I have about 6 years of accumulated work in my life and I'm 42. I need disability or SSI or something, I need to leave an abusive marriage. I can't work, have no friends or family (that would piss on me if I were on fire) within thousands of miles. I have a talent for finding things that are worth a lot of money, like antiques, at garage sales and thrift stores. I have sold things on occasion but having someone come to my house stresses me out too much. I'm trying to figure out the whole selling and shipping online thing out, but I'm terrible with numbers and computers. I'm also afraid of the possibility that I may not be well enough to complete purchases in a timely manner, any given week. I have 3 kids and they take all I can give, I can't imagine going to work also.



kdm1984
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02 Aug 2016, 8:22 pm

In the last few years, I have had some success going back and forth between substitute teaching and working as a direct support professional (assisting individuals with disabilities in their homes). In substitute teaching, I do best as an aide where someone else can direct me on how to handle the students. Due to my poor reading of social cues, and poor ability to multi-task, I haven't done as well teaching larger classrooms by myself. However, aide work doesn't have this problem; I'm a preferred sub aide at two schools right now since I'm so willing to work under people and not boss around my superiors.

I think I've had success in these fields because I'm helping people/students whose disabilities are even harder to deal with than mine. Though I'm barely more socially competent than the people I'm assisting, I'm still more competent, and the demand for people in both fields is extremely high, so I always have work.



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04 Aug 2016, 8:26 am

I'm starting to adjust to my new job. It's a very stressful one, regardless of mental health from what my co-workers have said.

Let's see I have been really good about being friendly and interacting with my co-workers.

My main problem is speed, though I've been improving. We're expected to frost and decorate normal cakes in 15 minutes and 30 minutes for cakes with kits.

I find that I do wake up every morning dreading work, but my dad says he is like that too, so I think it's just anxiety. I think I'd be like this even if I loved my job.

Entertainingly, I was pulled yesterday by my boss to do an announcement over the store's intercom system because I "have a loud voice." I did pretty well I think and I suspect I'll be announcing more in the future.


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L3ChatNo1r
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17 May 2017, 12:19 am

Getting along with co-workers and getting them to understand and accommodate my issues is always the most difficult aspect of any job I have. I try to be open about my difficulties and respectful and considerate of others, but they are always extremely rude to me. I don't understand why because I keep to myself unless I have a work-related question, and consider myself to be a nice and agreeable person. It is especially difficult with women because they tend to be much more catty and passive-aggressive.

I've also been bullied in the workplace, and I didn't even realize it was going on until the woman who was doing it was gone. Every time there was an issue, she would get in the middle of it and bad-mouth me and exacerbate it. She would also spread rumors about me, like that I was bringing alcohol to work in my water bottle and drinking it at my work station. I hardly even drink in the first place. The woman saying this stuff was twice my age, had children my age and grandchildren. I think it's pathetic that she feels the need to start s**t like this, and that people go along with it and accept it as normal behavior, yet have such a problem with me for keeping to myself.



RandomFox
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17 May 2017, 12:15 pm

Currently I'm a pharmacy tech, part-time and I've been working for the same company for over 5 years. I work in a team, but I have my own set of responsibilities that I can easily use as an excuse to not socialize (I arrange and manage medication packs for old people, including post hospital discharge). It's a boring job, but pays the bills and oldies appreciate what I do for them, which is always nice.

Earlier, I was a graphic designer and also managed import of stuff from China for a small company. That was a way more interesting job (too stressful at times), but I had to move abroad with my ex-husband. Tried to carry on with graphic design, as a self-employed person, but I couldn't network/look for new clients, approach anybody or pitch (horrible social anxiety) so basically I had to find something else.

Add to that childcare responsibilities and... well, I'm still stuck at my low level pharmacy job, but I'm hoping that I could find something more satisfying when my child is a bit more independent. I approached my bosses about further training a few times, but they basically want to keep an army of low earning minions and they won't train anybody up. Won't even let me pay for the training myself.

I'd love to run my own shop/cafe of some kind (best with a business partner) and I know I'd be good at that - I could do all advertising myself, book-keeping, purchasing... it would be fun :)

The only seriously sad thing is that I totally wasted my degree in biotechnology (Master's) - I graduated in 2005 and had literally nothing to do with lab work/research since then. Plus - I forgot even the basics, like I even barely remember how different amino acids look like, so I guess it's a lost cause completely.



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18 May 2017, 4:56 am

I work part time (3 days a week), but people get on my case about it. I'm rather happy working part time, and I can live on the money I earn, but others make me feel like I'm useless or lazy just because I work part time. I'm not really a money-orientated person, I'd rather have more free time to work on my hobbies (I love writing stories).


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Gingeroviatt
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23 May 2017, 7:39 pm

I have worked since I was 16, haven't had trouble interviewing, was always hired right away. I learned I had to look people in the eyes and smile and I was ok. I couldn't stick with jobs for too long though and I had no clue of the Aspie side of me til this year and I'm 43. Now the hard work begins

The longest jobs I've had were being a 911 dispatcher but I got bullied out of that job of two years And Child protective services as a secretary. Its the perfect job for me because I don't have to really look at people and it keeps me occupied all day every day. Even when I'm in meetings I take the minutes I'm looking at my computer. I also have technical skills so I help people with their work phones and computers all the time.

Ive found though that I get overwhelmed sometimes during the day though when dealing with a hard case and I'm shot for any kind of normality the rest of the day. I just need to take a 3 hour bath and go to sleep.

My biggest challenge has been in my relationship with my husband. Ill find a better forum to post about that though. If anyone has suggestions for one let me know.


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03 Jun 2017, 3:29 pm

I have limited experience, partly due to my mental disorders but also because of the recession. The first and only "real job" I ever had was as a mail order clerk. It was extremely demanding and the job description was very vague so I was practically doing three different jobs at once. My colleagues were lovely but I had a manager that was an as*hole (as to be expected). He wasn't always so bad but he wasn't above humiliating his staff and singleing them out. By the way, I call him Bad Cop and his business partner Good Cop.

So Bad Cop harassed me in front of my colleague because I had mistakenly put a print out on the other manager's desk (I was on my own that day and still fairly new) which is directly next to his own office and easy to fix. He blamed me for delaying his work but it wasn't delayed at all because Good Cop already saw that there were extra prints on his desk and must have handed them to Bad Cop. I call shenanigans. I mean, yeah, I should have been more careful but his reaction was totally over the top and he was super condescending and degrading, saying stuff like "Do you not understand the importance of this?" and accusing me of intentionally hiding it from him (lol, okay you paranoid weirdo). He also changed rules just for me and I reckon it's because he didn't trust me. Apparently we had lost loads of stock of a product and his first suspicion was that someone stole it so of course I was his first suspect. Because apparently someone can't just be bad at their job - they obviously have malicious intent. It didn't occur to him that it might have been an error with the filing system (it was, btw. The software was updated afterwards). I have other crazy stories about the place but I don't have time to go into everything. The place stressed me out and led me to suffer extreme burnout and a massive relapse in major depression. He only good thing about the experience is that it happened early in my career, making it easier to recover from the shame, and it made me seek an ADHD diagnosis.

I also learned to be a bit more assertive. This job showed me that I shouldn't let managers think it's okay to bully me and that I need to stand up for my right to have good, healthy working conditions. I learned that I need to be one step ahead of employers and show them that I know the law and I know my rights. I'm not going to let a job define my worth anymore - f**k that.



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04 Jun 2017, 4:36 pm

I often find it difficult to understand what exactly is expected of me. I don't know if what I'm doing is actually good enough, so I put my all into it so that I can make it good enough, I spend too much time second guessing myself and that burns me out. You can't constantly ask, should I do this, should I do that? You have to take some initiative. It's been like that in every job I've had.

My current job has really burned me out. I have deadlines to meet and the work we produce individually is reviewed by others before it is added to the program we are working on. I always hope that I've done the right thing. At least I get feedback and if I have to make changes, from that point on I know what to do, sort of. Sometimes I follow that comments, re-upload what I've done to the git repository and then find I've totally misunderstood. I have never felt as stupid as I have in this job. I swear I used to be intelligent.

Then sometimes the software crashes on me and I have to spend half an hour fixing it or waiting for it to re-load before I can continue with my work that I'm already stressed about. It's even worst when I'm flying close to the deadline, sigh in relief that I've finally finished and then find out that I've not actually done the thing right because I've misunderstood something.

This is the most demoralising job I've ever had. I just sleep all weekend these days too burned out to do anything much with my leisure time.