aspie women, do you hate women in general?
sunnycat
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Joined: 10 Feb 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,061
Location: Mysterious Forest of Legends, Kitty Dream Planet
I often find other women frustrating because I have never really "gotten" them. They seem to run about doing all these birl bonding activities and crying and eating ice cream and braiding each others' hair... Now, I am plenty woman-y, just ask my husband, I mean, I confuse the guy and like buying shoes and breast-feed and gave birth three times and felt like I was "all that" for having done it... (especially being an Aspie, change is rough) But still there seem to be these hordes of females who are the first ones to give me that baffled look I hate so much when I try to talk with them. So I avoid talking with them.
Still there are some good humans around, and I do still find them.
I had the bad luck of being born female, there is nothing worse the women, boring, materialistic creatures, who like things always to stay the same, rarely rebellious, rarely idealistic, alwyas worrying about their body, "does this fit with this" man cant they get a life!
All this motherly crap, all this overtly sexual behaviour, walking around in skimpy clothes, but than asking me "why is everybody looking at me?"
They take the jobs away, but when they get into their breeding mode, then the job is second, why not leave the job to those who really wanna do it?
Now I take male hormones, never , ever live like a female
I have no problems with females in general. I just don't get them. I find women tend to be more confusing than men. Sometimes a lot more confusing, especially if they are more feminine. I can get along with females quite well if they are more like me, more "man-like" I suppose. Some types of women are different from others. Like engineers and librarians I more likely to get along with I have noticed than say well, I don't know, drama majors. I'm even willing to admit that sometimes NT women potentially scare me. The girly ones at least because I know that a lot of them are probably looking at me and noticing all the things I don't and then they notice something is off about me and stuff. Men typically don't seem to notice a lof of the things they do. Of if they do, they just don't care. Not caring about hair is good, because I have enough trouble remembering just to brush mine before I leave the house. Thats something I am actively working on, brushing it more. So when people do care about things like that it can be uncomfortable for me because I don't identify with that and also because I come up short compared to people who do take time and know how to do that stuff.
Generally, I had a very difficult time relating to girls when I was younger because secretly I thought I was a boy and they would all find out someday when I grew a glorious beard . I either ignore women entirely, let them walk all over me, or walk all over them first. I have never had a lasting friendship with a woman. My longest lasting friendships with women have all eventually thinned out and died because the act I put on to sustain them drained the life out of me. However, I don't have any long lasting male friendships either except my husband who is very talented at putting up with me. It's funny, I don't think of myself as hard to get along with, but experience has proven me wrong probably because I'm so damn judgmental of everybody.
poopylungstuffing
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Joined: 8 Mar 2007
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,714
Location: Snapdragon Ridge
I can relate to that too.
When I was little I felt very androgenous....other girls were so different from me...I just wasn't in their club...I really felt like a neutral..in-between being a boy and a girl...it changed a bit when I hit puberty...but i still feel different from most females.
I am more capable of mantaining longer friendships with boys...though literally the only close friendship I have currently is with my boyfriend...
I would stay friends with my ex-boyfriends for a long time over the years...I just don't see most of them around anymore these days.
Most women seem to be a foreign species in some ways - I can't identify much with girly girls despite liking pretty and feminine things myself. They seem to kowtow too much to get male approval. Women who are practical and "earth motherly" and not afraid to get their hands dirty sometimes tend to appeal to me the most.
For some reason, I also find some women tend to look down their noses at me because I'm not playing by the "rules" ie. dressing up to get male approval or smiling when I don't feel like it.
In some ways it is sad not to feel more "belonging" but that's the price I pay to be an independent thinker.
_________________
Break out you Western girls,
Someday soon you're gonna rule the world.
Break out you Western girls,
Hold your heads up high.
"Western Girls" - Dragon
For as long as I can remember, I've held most other women in contempt. However, that's starting to change. Since being diagnosed, I've made several good AS female friends and that started me looking back at how I've always related to women in general. I'd always felt bullied and excluded by other females, while feeling accepted and appreciated by my male friends. Now that I look back on all this, I've realized that a lot of the girls I thought were "bullying" me in elementary and high school were really trying to relate to me and "help" me as best they could (I was a complete mess in those days). But because I couldn't read their facial expressions, tone of voice, etc. I assumed that anything negative or critical coming from them was "bullying." Now I realize I bullied those girls much more than they bullied me.
Conversely, I've also realized that what I'd always assumed was "acceptance and appreciation" from guys was really more about my friendship enhancing their "reputations" with other guys. I'd never realized (or maybe didn't want to) how much I was gossiped about because of those friendships, especially after I got married. Yeah, a couple of those guys did turn out to be true and lasting friends, but most didn't. It was a tough lesson to learn that many people (especially men) view such friendships with suspicion and disapproval (at best). Years of constantly deflecting their come-ons (while everyone else assumed I was accepting them) have taken a toll on my self-esteem with which I'm only just recently coming to terms.
So in summation, I guess I'm getting a more balanced view of both genders lately.
Its funny, but i dont really like women all that much either. I can get along with them usually and never start any crap with any of them. I do like some of them, and i do have some female friends. My catering partner for one.... she 's cool. I dont understand the innate competition that many of them have.. it seems terribly unnecessary to me.
Its stupid and silly. Not to mention those ones who flirt with anything male that is nearby. I really hate those typical workplace sluts that will glom on to any guy that will pay attention to them. Have some friggin self respect! I work veryhard on my appearance to ward these hussies off. I have no respect for women who try to take something that isnt theirs and do it in a seemingly innocent way. Please! Sure, there are some deep seated issues there, but i know what women i dont want to be around.
Not all women are terrible, just the ones that are unhappy to see you happy.
women especially NT women have always been alien to me. i dispise their bitchy ways among eachother. i can relate to other gay women but even they can be overly competive for a mate just as much as a straight woman. i was never girly ,but every now and then i do like to look nice. i've always had more male friends than female because i can deal with their crap and i was more easily accepted by the guys.
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