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Do you WANT to be (physically) attractive?

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Yes 72%  72%  [ 79 ]
No 28%  28%  [ 31 ]
Total votes : 110

traven
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23 Sep 2020, 2:02 am

Davideus85 wrote:
This question confuses me. Why on earth would anyone NOT want to be physically attractive?


well, im more of avoiding in this
you wouldn't want any odd one, have a try at trying

that's beyond my skills
:mrgreen: :mrgreen:

people are rusey in this, one eyecontact or one awkward smirk and there's ........ entitlement, or the make-belief of making you believe there's obligation of any kind

the satisfaction of power......... is always near 8O



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23 Sep 2020, 11:26 am

It depends. I don’t like showing excessive cleavage and prefer a “youthful” look. If I were a “hot babe” I would be miserable! I prefer the sweet and cute look on myself.


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01 Oct 2020, 1:20 pm

Yes, I want to be attractive. I take time to do makeup, hair, clothes, and skincare.


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01 Oct 2020, 6:53 pm

If I was particularly attractive, the attention I’d get for being so would be entirely unwanted. Sometimes I get a bit jealous of people who aren’t “socially invisible” (visible enough for no one to try to sit in a chair I’m sitting in or anything, but otherwise generally may as well not even exist as far as anyone else is concerned), and it would be nice to like what I see in the mirror, but if I actually think about it, I realize I’m a lot happier the way I am - not hideous enough to draw large amounts of negative attention, but not attractive enough to get positive attention from it, either.


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02 Oct 2020, 2:24 am

No.
And I don't have to.

If anything...
I just want to be healthier. Stronger. More in control and aware of everything.


If I really want to be attractive myself and be visible, I'd pursue the illusion of subtle movement and stance.
Not the visual appearance of my face or body -- those are, well, secondary for me.



Seriously.
Imagine; someone with a flawless skin, great figure, good fashion sense...
... But with odd and awkward gait, moves around insecurely like a lost child, and apparently not very approachable or to be taken seriously...


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seaweed
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03 Oct 2020, 3:08 am

i don't think i'm attractive even though a lot of people have said or indicated so. either i rationalize it or dismiss it.
i do want to be physically attractive, though. i even wish i was physically attractive in ways i can't be (and sometimes in ways that are not considered attractive to most others). i'm never good enough. but i've been able to accept myself and my limitations more as i've gotten older.
i mean, i'd never hold anyone to the physical standards i hold myself to. it never even crosses my mind. that's how i know it's BS even though my own assholebrain tells me otherwise.



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03 Oct 2020, 3:25 am

seaweed wrote:
i don't think i'm attractive even though a lot of people have said or indicated so. either i rationalize it or dismiss it.
i do want to be physically attractive, though. i even wish i was physically attractive in ways i can't be (and sometimes in ways that are not considered attractive to most others). i'm never good enough. but i've been able to accept myself and my limitations more as i've gotten older.
i mean, i'd never hold anyone to the physical standards i hold myself to. it never even crosses my mind. that's how i know it's BS even though my own assholebrain tells me otherwise.


Being physically attractive doesn't change the hideousness of this life system.
I don't have to be the most handsome maggot in the toilet bowl. :mrgreen:

I am not being bitter here.
Just creative. :idea: 8)



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03 Oct 2020, 8:52 am

It's not enough to be physically attractive. I had a great body when I was younger and no one wanted me. Such a waste.

Something is more important than physical attractiveness to make you desirable, but f**k knows what it is!

I haven't got it.



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03 Oct 2020, 9:01 am

Whale_Tuune wrote:
Yes, I want to be attractive. I take time to do makeup, hair, clothes, and skincare.


Mission accomplished. 8)



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03 Oct 2020, 9:04 am

hurtloam wrote:
It's not enough to be physically attractive. I had a great body when I was younger and no one wanted me. Such a waste.

Something is more important than physical attractiveness to make you desirable, but f**k knows what it is!

I haven't got it.


Send your resumé.
I am between girlfriends. 8)



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03 Oct 2020, 12:38 pm

If you are attractive or beautiful, you have a better chance of succeeding in life.
So yes, I want to be attractive.

I also want to be stronger, smart, rich and funnier, while we're at it.



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03 Oct 2020, 12:45 pm

I want to be left alone.

So not ugly.

Or too good looking.

But I want to look 32.


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04 Oct 2020, 12:37 am

Checkbox wrote:
If you are attractive or beautiful, you have a better chance of succeeding in life.
So yes, I want to be attractive.

I also want to be stronger, smart, rich and funnier, while we're at it.


Attractiveness is an advantage, yup. 8)



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04 Oct 2020, 12:39 am

KT67 wrote:
I want to be left alone.

So not ugly.

Or too good looking.

But I want to look 32.


I thought you were attractive.
So, you would like to down-grade? 8O



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06 Oct 2020, 1:15 pm

Edna3362 wrote:
No.
And I don't have to.

If anything...
I just want to be healthier. Stronger. More in control and aware of everything.


If I really want to be attractive myself and be visible, I'd pursue the illusion of subtle movement and stance.
Not the visual appearance of my face or body -- those are, well, secondary for me.



Seriously.
Imagine; someone with a flawless skin, great figure, good fashion sense...
... But with odd and awkward gait, moves around insecurely like a lost child, and apparently not very approachable or to be taken seriously...


Ha, that last person you describe was me in my 20s.

Yes, all I want is to get over my health issues. I've had a bad couple of years. Lots of tests. No idea what the root cause is.



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07 Oct 2020, 10:50 am

hurtloam wrote:
It's not enough to be physically attractive. I had a great body when I was younger and no one wanted me. Such a waste.

Something is more important than physical attractiveness to make you desirable, but f**k knows what it is!

I haven't got it.

Observation tells me I call it 'illusion'.
But it's commonly referred as 'charm' in it's vague and subtly relative sense.

Yet to me, it's an illusion all the same.

Just highjacking the respective allistic's system, instead of pretend-NT and pray the allistic system passes it. :twisted:




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Note that this is just my observation, and how I try to describe this observation.

Pursuing body language and subtle stances as an autistic will be very tricky or very challenging.
Considering the common numbers of comorbidities, that includes the direct causes related to emotions and physical coordination.

Personally, my ace happened to be nonverbal aptitude.
My illusion, as a passing autistic, happened to be in kinesthetics than articulate verbosity that many aspies are proud of.


Reading and watching about theories of body languages aren't enough.
It's not even enough to mimic said body language through rehearsals like masking... Unless you have immense mental stamina -- you all know where this is going.

But it's something that can be projected, that includes subconscious.
The stance had to be drawn from intent and feelings translated into movement like an offering as a lure, not a repellant.
That includes repelling perceived would-be rejections based on one's preconceived worries, or attempting to repel your insecurities while trying to offer.

Not just to simply calculated mentally -- that will be still awkward or dwindling or dangerous as many here figured if one lacks enough resources and faculties.
Else, it's superficial -- just masking. Cheap attempt on performing illusions.



But how can an autistic do that, if they're all busy with the environmental chaos and confusion, obsessive thoughts and negative past experiences?

And how an autistic could figure if they cannot comprehend their own emotions and internal sensations, if they had no firm control over their bodies, if their processes between input and output is too slow, if they just had the great urge to stim everything away or the itch to move in certain ways?



That's how this so called 'social deficit' works. It's not simply just cluelessness or lack of social imagination -- that's just the one sided part that is 'trapped in their own heads'.
But also mechanical -- basically the 'trapped in their own bodies' kind of way.



From my point of view, I'm more trapped in my own body than trapped in my own head.
The latter mistakes my apathy in asocial nature, the social cluelessness and emotional immaturity that caused by executive dysfunctions like many.

And I'm not even the clumsy type to just claim such statements of being trapped in my own body!


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