You look angry!

Post Reply New Topic

I have been treated horribly by men on dates because of my poor ability to produce proper facial expressions. I'm often told I look bored, or depressed but then being told that made me actually depressed and bored with them. It was instant rejection in a sense and so now when I notice a guy isn't getting me I instantly reject him instead. I've noticed that my bad experiences with men has given me a huge disinterest in keeping or wanting relationships.

Yes. After decades of this, I just feel like lashing out - THIS IS JUST THE WAY I LOOK!! Sorry about the yelling, but this is a sore point.

And my voice too - one of the myriad of reasons why I hate talking over the phone - people almost always ask me "Are you ill? Your voice sounds funny." What a way to make me feel less anxious and irritated!

When I'm not engaged in social interaction, people often ask me what's wrong...I've been told that I look sad, angry or flat...

It's distracting because I'm obviously thinking about something intently... I want to say.. "I'm annoyed at your stupid question..now let me think my thoughts in peace"

Maybe they are being nice? Maybe they feel obligated to ask because the expression/non-expression on my face is so foreign? I do not know

I've gotten in trouble before because I haven't asked other women how they were feeling... how the heck am I supposed to know that you are digging for sympathy?! When I don't feel good, or have my head down or a flat expression on my face the LAST thing I want for people to ask me is how I'm feeling...

There's a janitor at work (I think he has some issues...he lives for getting rises out of people) who has sexually harassed me multiple times who often says, 'why don't you smile? I'm going to make you smile before the end of the night" I put on a fake one just so he'll leave me the hell alone, but he can tell...so then I crinkle my eyes because that is what apparently makes a smile appear more genuine...

*sigh*

Haha I get the phone thing all time from people I know, but haven't spoken to on the phone before....my mom will ask me too though; she should know better

I profusely dislike talking on the phone

Yes. After decades of this, I just feel like lashing out - THIS IS JUST THE WAY I LOOK!! Sorry about the yelling, but this is a sore point.

And my voice too - one of the myriad of reasons why I hate talking over the phone - people almost always ask me "Are you ill? Your voice sounds funny." What a way to make me feel less anxious and irritated!

and i thought i'm the only one with this problem. Looking angry and miserable most of the time. Its particularly hard for me because my sister smile a lot and so does my brother. So im always the serious eldest sister. Some people thought im frowning at them and accuse me of arrogance when in fact im just shy or so i thought. So when people ask me if i'm sad or i have problem or that i need to smile more i just ignore them. It also doesnt help that my voice sounds monotone yet loud when i speak or that i don't recognize people's face right away. I just pretended that i have poor eyesight. excuse for my looking angry and not being able to recognize people on the street. i guess as i grew older i became just totally indifferent.

"Celebrated" our 19th wedding anniversary last Monday & my dh STILL thinks I'm in some sort of perpetual state of upheaval (I liked that statement vickypollard made "bitchface" THAT'S ME!!). I was diagnosed over 3 years ago now (& he FULLY agreed & understood my "aspieness") but it seems like his "fall back position" is to look at my face & then decide that I'm ___________ (angry; upset; worked-up; unhappy.....WHATEVER)

I'm really getting tired of having to say "Uh, NO...I'm not actually controlling my face at all" (then again, sometimes I rise up to his bait & that's when we have our "dozy fights") it all makes me wonder how much longer this'll last.

*peeks in*

I think most women are pretty cute when they're mad

*scurries off*

ooooh a boy in the women's discussion forum! dramerrrrr

I've been told lots of times that I look angry, or walk like I'm angry. I've also been told that I look "intimidating".

But when I actually do get angry, people don't recognize it, or they don't take me seriously, they act like it's just amusing to them. They will only take me seriously if I get really mean about it.

The story of my life...

People always tell me that, or they might think that I'm bored and I never understood why they were saying that because in my head I thought that my facial expression was ok, until a saw a video of myself... I couldn't believe that I had that face during all my life

I have problems with my eyebrows, it's really hard to control them, it's like they're always falling and in order to make them look "normal" I need to do extra effort with the facial muscles.
My father has the same problem, we have exactly the same gaze, he always looks so angry, even when he's not, people sometimes are scared of him

People have told me that I look "depressed"/"angry"/"sad"/etc. often.
When I was in public school, that is.
They would either flat-out tell me I looked that way, or they would ask, "What's wrong?" or "Why are you sad?"
I really wasn't 99% of the time.

When I was working in full-time ministry, a friend pointed out to me that I tended to look angry. She and my boy friend (now my husband) tried to help me to notice when I was doing it - furrowed brow and all. Most of the time, it just means I am thinking about something, analyzing it, trying to work something out in my head. She was very nice and supportive, and put a fun drawing on the wall of my office next to the door so I would see it on the way out of my office and remember to check the position of my eyebrows. It really helped, as an angry-looking person in ministry isn't a good thing.

My husband also was my social mentor. He pointed out things that I did (at age 33+) that wasn't really socially acceptable. I was just being my naive, innocent self, and now, as I look at it, very childlike in social situations. He taught me to curb my emotional responses (these were "happy" responses, not bad, but not appropriate where and when I was doing them). He said that, although he knew I was truly feeling that way, that I looked "fake" to others.

So others helping me with the situation in a loving way actually helped.

My mum always gets mad at me because of my face, she says that I must smile because she has no obligation to bear my bad humor. I do smile naturaly when I'm having fun, but sometimes I've tried to force smile and it was worst, people asked me why I was sad

I try and smile in many cases, to make other people feel more relaxed. For me, it's hard to make small talk. Many times smiling and nodding or both, is the easier way out.

With some people I am closer to, I also do it because they are more likely to smile themselves. Also not only small talk but sometimes I use it to express appreciation or hide how I'm really feeling.

Sometimes I hate that I smile so much. It feels fake sometimes.

I think I learned to do it from being told I looked sad or upset when I was young.

It's so hard for me to force a smile. It never comes out right unless it's genuine.