How would you react?

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How would you react if an older man you know smacked you on the behind/bottom, in a playful chastising way in front of a group of people including his wife.
I became really quiet and went to bed early!

I would attack him or call the police.

Ok, that's the opposite of how I responded, if it was a stranger I would have reacted similarly. I think it's different because this person is familiar through extended family.
No one else reacted, and I didn't do anything to encourage it. Im a bit pissed off by this created awkward situation, but I think that I'm the only one feeling like this.

I would definitely speak up, and have almost (involuntary) hit someone when something similar happened.

It was a weird situation, because it's a relations husband and it caught me off guard... I would have instantly been very irate with a stranger on a night out etc. but this is not straightforward, I want to spare his wife further embarrassment. Although she did not react last night, she was quite attentive towards me today, and is someone I care about.

Last edited by Amity on 25 Mar 2015, 8:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

Just say to him (in private): "I know you didn't have bad intentions--but I don't like people smacking me in my butt; it gives me bad memories."

Most people would understand, and wouldn't be offended.

When someone did this to me, I whirled around and pinched him VERY HARD on his buttocks. Some kind of macho thing makes men not admit how painful it was. Although it was socially unacceptable, it made me feel happy.

The incident shouldn't be passed over as if nothing had happened. He needs to know that that sort of behaviour isn't acceptable anymore (in fact it never was, but no-one spoke out). Take him to one side and have a quiet but firm word with him. If he respects you as a friend/acquaintance he will apologise and not do it again, hopefully to anyone.

Not a bad reaction, actually.

But Amity is hanging out with relatives. She has to be more diplomatic than that.

It's annoying me that it was brushed off as a non incident, (it was as if nothing happened) but I am in a situation where I must be diplomatic, and not cause more unnecessary awkwardness.
Jeez I wish this guy had had more sense, but It's annoying me because inaction conflicts with changes I've made recently... I think extending to him the curtesy of a private chat is a good idea.

I'm not going to make the stupid pun LOL.

I'm sorry this had to happen to you, Amity. That's the bitch--old-fangled ideas!

The new ideas, to some considerable extent, have not "trickled up" to the older generation.

I think all will be well, ultimately.

Yeah, I hope so. I'd like to move on. This has happened before, but always with strangers and strong reactions were ok then, but I did not know how to react to this.

BS. She was sexually harassed by a grown man who should know better. To hell with diplomacy. Do you know what diplomacy does in these sorts of situations? It allows the perpetuation of this type of behavior. Anyone who thinks the family's feelings or "keeping up appearances" or whatever are more important has seriously messed up priorities.

If it happens again before you have a chance for a chat, say something like
"hey your wife is standing right there!"

Starkid, I am using a mobile device, long posts are not an option.
I'm on vacation in Oz, and thankfully I'm staying with other family members (who are unaware that this happened).
I don't think prioritising peace over a scene is messed up, ok, I'm having a delayed reaction, but I am going to communicate with this man about it.
It's just my standard reaction would have caused everyone discomfort for the remainder of the holiday, I don't understand why you think that's a messed up priority? The method is different, that's all.

True, but my experience in the past when I spoke up about things that were borderline criminal (like bullying), my reaction was taken as evidence *I* was the one who had the problem by being oversensitive.