The neurotypical superpower.

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A "vibe" is nothing special. It's merely a personal feeling they're trying to push on someone else. By making it vague and "mystical" it allows the other person to "fill in the blank" with their own version of the feeling. It's a very basic sublimnal suggestion.

You said it, better than I ever could.

And I strongly disagree with not using a word like 'neurotypical' a commonality of language is very important, its how we communicate god dammit. As Ajishere said 'its too much goddam work to use anything else here'.

'Neurotypical','pseudotypical', I invented my own phrase 'hypertypical', but that hasn't seemed to have caught on

Very interesting analysis. And would explain a person on the spectrum lacking this "ability" since it's basically abstract and artificial.

It's not anything special, no... but it is real. It's a response in the limbic system, and when a person talks about "vibes" and such they're putting that into words.

Everything that we think of is a reaction of some mechanism in the biological machine of the brain, but invoking that by describing that organ isn't helpful.

When people talk and relate to each other they are doing these things strategically not just activating some part of the brain.
People are seeking validation, warmth and companionship, material gain. In nts their brains instinctually strategize to achieve these ends. But if you start to call out this process people will accuse you of being negative and critical. That is a shame because people with autism have to be made to understand the nuts and bolts process of communication.

I like to use these terms even though they're abstract. If people care, they'll ask what I mean, and I'll have to go into more detail than the simple phrase.

To me, if someone's on my wavelength, we connect and have deep conversations. We understand each other on a deeper level than what I experience with everyone else. Finding people like this is very hard for me, although I am very aware that many on this forum find it even more difficult.

As for the vibes thing, it's an overall impression of what they say and how they say it. It's very artificial and I know it, as I often can't read the emotions people hide or otherwise don't express. Still, there are enough people who express an emotion openly with me that I start to feel a bit of what they express at times. This can be awesome, like when I feel the combined excitement of people at a public event. It can also suck, like when I feel tension and anger rwhen people are fighting.

As a disclaimer, I don't have an ASD diagnosis, and I also have no way of knowing if other people experience these things differently. Sometimes, people report 'vibes' I didn't feel at all. I've also discovered that I'm especially terrible at reading liars/people who put on a persona.

I had all kinds of great things to add, then I noticed I forgot an "i" in subliminal and it's too late to change since it's been quoted...my need for everything to be "uniform/correct" is going crazy. Definitely bad vibes now!

I never said it wasn't...I was merely pointing out the mechanics of how it operates. That's the thing: if you know how something operates you can use it.

I mean a common autistic thought on this issue is: "I don't know what vibes are, they're stupid", and thus the autistic writes them off. By writing them off they're putting a barrier of communication on themselves. Now, if you understand how a vibe works, you know it's not something to debate or argue, it's merely a feeling they're trying to "share" with you-- so much so they want you to "feel" it too. Knowing that: the only logical response to the question "do you feel that vibe?" is either yes or no. You either feel what they do or you don't, what the actual feeling is (if we were to quantify it as an autistic would want) is actually completely irrelevant to the question because it's not about the vibe itself-- it's about them trying to bond with you on a subconscious emotional level. This is one of those autistic "blind spots".

Yes, stereotypes, just to make the point. Given that seeing oneself as inferior is a subjective value judgement that can't be proved, why not see yourself as OK? That way, the door is open to self-confidence. I'm not saying I never feel inferior, but at least I don't accept those feelings with open arms. There's nothing so disabling as self-loathing.

Dennis- from what you're describing, I would LOVE to have a face to face conversation with you! I would request that you actually hold up a pause indicator whenever you need something explained or wonder if something landed. That would be fantastic from my point of view. Just because I study conversations and social interactions and that would be very useful for me.

NTs run on autopilot for so much of their lives, it's hard to work backwards to figure out what small things mean. Facial expressions, phrases, pauses in conversation, whatever. People who haven't ever gone on autopilot may be constantly preoccupied, but at least they're truly appreciating the moment.

There was a documentary I saw once (I can't remember the name of it) about some young men from a small African village who were political refugees. They had to be relocated to the US and the documentary was about their experiences adjusting to a vastly different culture from their own. What struck me was that even the relocation people, who you might think had a lot of experience and would know what to tell people, didn't think to explain very simple and necessary things to the guys. Like how to turn on lights or use the toilets. What the pats of butter were on the plane and how to eat them. They ate them like a candy and were screwing up their faces and saying to each other, "This American food is awful!" Why wouldn't anyone just explain that stuff to them? It's the same with social interactions. Most people don't think about these things, and so CAN'T explain them.

A person like you, with questions, can see clearly. Your questions would help the rest of us understand how things work.

Thanks socofautism, its enlightening talking to somebody off the spectrum, my experience with autism is strange though I seem to understand sarcasm irony that stuff maybe not as quickly as people usually do, but giving an answer to people an appropriate response that can be problematic.

I'll give you a good example.
I called up my uncle and told him I believed I had autism, he was dubious so I strained myself trying to come up with a convincing description of my condition.
I said to him my mind 'its like having a convoluted book in my head', that just came out spontaneously, now my uncle is a really nice bloke but nevertheless he got real antsy and said he wanted to leave the conversation and get off phone.

What happened?

My uncle is a Catholic priest and saying having a 'convoluted book in your head' is not a good way of talking to a priest
For me I have great interest in people and some understanding, but that can really get me into trouble some times, so I have to be wary of it.
If you are interested in having a dialogue I'm certainly up for it particularly if its about my pet subject language. Studying conversations sounds fascinating.

Now I'm wondering how many books priests read. And about what.

That analogy would work well with me, because I DO read long, convoluted books (and also simple brainless ones).

It's hard when people ask for explanations of autism, because none of us have experienced both being autistic and not being autistic. It can be difficult to find an explanation that the other person understands. I grew up with autistic people, am married to one, and study autism and I wouldn't say I "understand" what it's like to be autistic, or ever will. I also don't understand what it's like to be a man, or to be Asian. All you can do is your best when you describe it, and neurotypical people can only try to understand. IF they try. Some people don't and they aren't worth your time.

I feel that NT people speak in verbs. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liminality The rules of etiquette are meant to keep the participants engaged, continuously, and the discussion open-ended; that is being gregarious.

AS people speak in terms of nouns -- numbers, placenames, terms, known quantities. And, they generally prefer closure, in my way of thinking. I believe that our concepts are discrete and sequestered, as we tend to be, socially.

I guess you mean he was insecure about his religious convictions and therefore felt the remark might be somehow aimed at him? And that you blame your autism for making you so insensitive as to upset him like that? Surely if he was that insecure, you had no way of knowing it in advance. And isn't it just as likely that he simply got wound up trying to understand the complexity of autism via a phone call? Either way, I'm surprised that you seem to blame only yourself for his annoyance.

Interesting. I have a friend who speaks in terms of 'known quantities' as you put it. The conversation flows naturally from me to him and back, but he said that he couldn't find a good place for closure. I didn't know how to fix that, but I never forgot it either.

I view the way my neurology is configured as inferior, but there's more to me than that so this doesn't mean I view myself as inferior. When I look at it rationally, my views on this seem to hold up pretty well. If I feel I need self-confidence I'll look for other ways to shore it up while still accepting what I see right in front of me.