Your stims, and if they are accepted

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I have some stims, and I do all of them to either relax or express some kind of mental state, even if they don't look relaxing or are hard for onlookers to figure out. I am thankful that few really try to rid me of my stims; I have read threads here where some have regrettably had to deal with people in their lives who tried to rid them of their harmless stims, all in the vague name of "social appropriateness." :/

My stims:

- I love rubbing my fingers and hands across cold, flat surfaces, like the undersides of many tables. It's a soothing texture. I just rubbed my right hand several times across my wooden computer table right now. Soooo relaxing. I've been doing this stim since childhood. No one ever seems to notice or get bothered by it. Yay.

- Bouncing my leg, especially my left one. Occasionally I do get people who find this odd and want me to stop. But it helps me relax and concentrate. I do it a ton, like the rubbing one above.

- Hopping up and down when happy, often accompanied by squeaking noises and clapping. My husband finds this super cute. Even though I have a massive professor vocabulary, I get very nonverbal when I'm delighted, and make all kinds of high pitched animal noises, like a black swan. It contrasts greatly with my otherwise soft and fairly monotone everyday speaking voice.

- Jumping up and down on the couch constantly when basketball games get close and tense.

- Nuzzling husband when content. This is a somewhat new stim. I love it. I have lots of other nontraditional stims when it comes to physical affection. I don't like hugs and such with strangers, but I'm extremely physically affectionate with spouse. He is not at all bothered by this.

- Banging my head against the pillow to get ready for sleep. This one looks scary and violent, but it's actually ultra relaxing for me. Husband has gotten used to it. He used to call it "thrashing."

- Talking or squeaking to myself when alone. Happens more often when driving or showering. I never do this where others can hear, because I know it would look crazy.

I think those are all my stims.

I have a few different stims, most of them are pretty classic.

I rock back and forth when I'm anxious or excited, and if I'm standing, I'll sway side to side, shifting my weight from one foot to the other. I'm sure it probably looks odd, but no one has ever commented.

I flap or shake my hands when I'm frustrated or happy. I've been told a lot, "Don't fly away!" I can never tell if it's meant to be endearing, or if they're making fun of me.

I got a spinner ring last month which I've taken to. I wear it on my right index finger and spin it constantly with my thumb. I like the vibration it makes when it spins, and the metallic swishing noise it makes.

When overstimulated or over-energized, I'll bounce or hop up and down. It gets rid of my excess energy, and I like the high-impact pressure on my joints. When I was little, I bounced literally everywhere, and eventually had to wear special boots to stop me doing it, as I was damaging the tendons and ligaments in my legs and ankles.

I fidget a lot with fidget toys like tangles and stress balls too. I'm especially drawn to the texture of putty and gel.

I have a lot of vocal stimming too. When I'm stressed or anxious, I'll hum to myself in a monotone, and sometimes a line of dialogue from one of my favourite movies or TV shows will appeal to me and I'll repeat it over and over.

Crocheting - Acceptable discreet stimming. If my hand ever gets tired, I end up staring at it. Seeing the patterns, the symmetry...
I could switch to other kinds of crafting. But right now crochet's my focus, it has a right feeling to it, and it's been more convenient than repeated origami and macramé.

Pacing - The least inconspicuous, but also the most accepted. By people's assumption: Yes, I DO save a lot of fare money. And no, I don't mind the heat. It has two effects: To feel the space and feel the vibration of each of my steps. The weather helps sometimes. Especially at dawn or dusk when the Sun's light is warm instead of hot. It's something I'd do regardless of my mood.

Self talking - Unacceptable and it's hard to hide. It's mostly my inner world's events spilling through my mouth. It happens too often, and I have yet to find a pattern why other than being pissed off, angry, or bored and hyper.

Staring - It varies if it's acceptable or not. It happens when I forgot what to do or not able to proceed. I end up visually focus at something random. Could be my own work or writing, or something nearby after doing something.

Coddling my mom - Yes, I'm an adult. Yes, I also do this in public. And yes, it's weird. Maybe it's the only way I ever express affection.

Random fiddling - It varies if it's acceptable or not. Mostly when I'm bored. It could be my hair. Or clothes I'm wearing. Or my shoe laces. Or my fingers, most at the time.

Nail bitting and making my fingers bleed with it - Of course it's unacceptable. It happens when I feel like I'm going to regret something, or regretting something. Or when I'm frustrated with myself. I'd dip it with something stinging like alcohol and hold it tight.

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I crack my knuckles. I see lots of supposedly "normal" people do it too so it's not seen as too weird.

Any stims I do in public I try to hide as it's usually with my hands which can be hidden in pockets or I sit on them ( of course I could be wrong and they are noticeable but no-one has ever mentioned it )

At home it's always leg bouncing if I sitting or foot bouncing if I'm lying down which annoys the hell out of my girlfriend.

My girlfriend also thinks that whenever I have my computer mouse in my hand it's stimming for me - I'm not convinced it stimming but what do I know.

I tend to be a stimmy type of person and am not generally inclined to stop it. Given that I am grown, married, and do not leave the house much, there are not a lot of people I encounter these days who are vocal stim haters. As a child I would get fussed at now and then over such things, but not much anymore... though my spouse does poke fun at me now and then over some of my things. He is not doing so to be malicious though, rather he seems to find my stims cute or endearing or something.

As for things I do... I bounce on a yoga ball and eventually I get arms and hands in on the motion. Then there is rocking, 'bouncing' my calf muscles, tapping, 'hand dancing', pacing, swaying side to side while sitting (it's more like a wiggle than a rocking motion), and sometimes chewing on things. I also do visual stims where I trace things (like tile ceilings or telephone/electric wires) with my eyes. I have visual snow issues as well so sometimes I get caught up staring off at that stuff if it is on a pattern free surface. I also stare off at and eye trace patterns though and look at images I can find in them that are not part of the pattern (ie my couch has floral type patterns but there is something in a flower that looks like a fairy with an acorn hat on). Sometimes I chew on my spouse's hand... I chew on a lot of things, but people's hands are my favorite things to chew on. I smell things as well (thinking of hands... I 'smell my paw' a lot)... I dunno... I have a lot of things I do.

The classic stuff. Rocking back and forth when sitting and weaving side to side when standing. Different stuff with my hands, usually with my elbows bent, hand flapping, moving my fingers around (like playing an invisible piano). Moving my head side to side. Constant motion. Various vocal sounds. Sometimes I'll repeat something I hear, either later on or right after. It's pronounced enough that people accept that i'm totally messed up haha.

Pacing when nervous

Stiffening up when I'm nervous, especially when giving a speech.

Getting excited when my favorite tennis player is about to win a match. This is most pronounced with Rafael Nadal and Denis Istomin. I was so excited when Istomin made the fourth round. I let out a scream along with him when he won.

People rarely say anything to me anymore about any of my stims. When I was young I might get teased or it might make people worry but now, nothing. Don't know why all the comments mostly ceased other than a change in social circles. I rock most of the time, kick my legs, pull my hair, circle my thumb nail with my index finger, pull at my lip, and a few more things. Last comment was around two years ago, the commenter knew of my diagnosis and decided to show off her limited knowledge by making a big deal out of it and asking me if I was about to have a meltdown.

Most of my stims are verbal, repeating the names of my friends or my cat out loud or certain phrases or conversations with myself over and over.

I might fidget with my hands or my feet if im anxious and I am around someone I can't verbally stim around.

I also stim by touching certain materials or petting my cat that feels comforting.

If I am wearing a hoodie, I will play with the draw strings attached to the hood.

If I am really frustrated/in a meltdown I will hit myself in the head but careful enough not to cause any damage.

I am concious about being criticized for most of my stims except maybe fidgeting with my hands or stimming with drawstrings attached to clothing. My verbal stims work the same if I whisper them because I can hear myself just fine in my head. My family has long criticized me for talking to myself.

My mom rarely notices my stims anymore. I noticed I shift my weight from one foot to the other, I still jump up and down while keeping my wrists straighter when happy (when I used to hand flap almost constantly, my wrists hurt a bunch). Occasionally I will rock forward and back, keep the back part of my hand pressed against my face as I move. Today, I realized the new cloth lanyard a friend gave me, is comfortable to hand stim with!

As for those being accepted, I have no idea. Noticable, yes.

I flap my hands whenever it comes. There's not much I can do to prevent it. I toe walk wherever very inconsistently, but nobody has stood anything. It seems toe walking is more acceptable because another autistic guy I know ALWAYS toe walks, even with shoes. I also bend my elbows and have T-Rex arms, which is also a weakness to the autistics I know. I also sit hugging my knees whenever I can.

My main one is running a particular lock of hair over my lips. I do it so much that the lock is shiny and shorter than the rest of my hair and my upper lip is often red. My mum has said it's annoying and it makes her want to hit me. We'd been in a theatre at the time and it was distracting her. I don't know if she finds it annoying anywhere else. I told her I can't help it but I don't think she believes me.

I also crack my knuckles which my son dislikes intensely.