Do ALL Aspies or Auties dislike bieing hugged or touched?

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southwestforests
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12 Aug 2009, 10:38 am

smiffi25147628 wrote:

Does anyone here like being touched and/or hugged?

Yes.
No.
Yes.
It changes.
And depends by who.

Quote:

PS After reading this back to myself I appriciate that I sound a bit effiminate.

It does?

Quote:

Could we please overlook this as I can assure you that this is not the case.

I'm not finding anything needs overlooking, it was simply said the way it is.

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xalepax
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12 Aug 2009, 10:42 am

I dont like beeing touched and hugged

I restrict it to family and relatives only, if anyone else gives it a slight try I back off emediately. I keep them to handshaking thats all

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smiffi25147628
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12 Aug 2009, 10:44 am

southwestforests wrote:

smiffi25147628 wrote:

Does anyone here like being touched and/or hugged?

Yes.
No.
Yes.
It changes.
And depends by who.

Quote:

PS After reading this back to myself I appriciate that I sound a bit effiminate.

It does?

Quote:

Could we please overlook this as I can assure you that this is not the case.

I'm not finding anything needs overlooking, it was simply said the way it is.

I work on the railway, in what some consider a very manly environment. If I were to start a conversation with my peers regarding how comforting and soothing a find a cuddle, I would find myself the butt of jokes for about an hour or so. So I suppose I'm just not keen to invite people to mock me.

Like you say it is the way it is.

pschristmas
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12 Aug 2009, 10:45 am

irishwhistle wrote:

Yeah, I'm like most, I like firm touch and only by someone I feel comfortable with. If I'm feeling very tense, even a firm touch can set me off if it's unexpected. And my kids, though they are certainly among those I like to hug, have really come close to getting smacked when they jump at me or grab at me.

Yes, to the firm touches from people I know well. I also know what you mean about the kids. I had to train my daughter not to hang on me when she was little. I enjoyed hugging her, but the jumping and hanging was a problem.

drowbot0181
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12 Aug 2009, 10:52 am

smiffi25147628 wrote:

southwestforests wrote:

smiffi25147628 wrote:

Does anyone here like being touched and/or hugged?

Yes.
No.
Yes.
It changes.
And depends by who.

Quote:

PS After reading this back to myself I appriciate that I sound a bit effiminate.

It does?

Quote:

Could we please overlook this as I can assure you that this is not the case.

I'm not finding anything needs overlooking, it was simply said the way it is.

I've noticed that it's the stereotypical "manly men" that enjoy touching each other the most. I think it's a sports thing, but I hate sports so I'm not sure.

serenity
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12 Aug 2009, 10:52 am

I like being touched, and hugged if it's by someone I'm close to, and in a way that I like. Light brushes on my skin make my skin crawl. I literally feel like I have to wipe it off after someone lightly brushes me. If you're not my husband, or one of my kids then I don't want you to touch me, with the exception of small children. For some reason, little kids that come up to grab me or hug me don't bother me all that much. Even at family get to togethers I will try to excuse myself when I know the hug goodbye part is coming. I know it's rude, but I hate it.

In any picture that I was in from a child to adult you can always instantly tell which one is me. I'm the one that's standing a few feet from everyone else. I need a ton of personal space.

smiffi25147628
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12 Aug 2009, 10:53 am

pschristmas wrote:

irishwhistle wrote:

When I give hugs they are bear hugs, usally the recipient makes a small "uggghhh" noise due to the pressure. I generally ask if that was too much to which I am told it isn't (possible white lie).

I've noticed that a few of you have said that you prefer a firmer touch but is this equally true for giving and recieving?

I think I probally give the kind of hugs I would like to recieve, however I am quite a large man and my girlfriend or mother or girlfrinds mother or sister-in-law (these are the people who I might hug) are simply too small to recripicate this kind of pressure.

rathernotsay
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12 Aug 2009, 10:53 am

It never occurred to me that I didn't like it but I have been made aware of it by women who sense that I get tense when touched. It's awkward.

drowbot0181
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12 Aug 2009, 10:55 am

serenity wrote:

I also feel that way about light touch, even from my wife. A lot of people are saying that, it seems.

smiffi25147628
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12 Aug 2009, 11:01 am

drowbot0181 wrote:

I've noticed that it's the stereotypical "manly men" that enjoy touching each other the most. I think it's a sports thing, but I hate sports so I'm not sure.

I should point out that I am quite uncomfortable touching another man, I'm generally refering to female relatives and friends, although I suppose I am not above giving my dad or brother a hug.

I'm not really a sports guy though and I suppose it also depends on the culture you're brought up in. In my school we pretty much spent most of our time insulting each other and calling each other gay so heaven forbid you'd give anyone a reason to say that about you.

Maditude
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12 Aug 2009, 11:13 am

I equate hugging and touching with intimacy. I only want to be hugged or touched from whomever I am seeing.

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bdubs
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12 Aug 2009, 11:19 am

I like it as long as I am ready for it. If someone touches me when im not aware of it ill freak out. I'll never initiate touching though.

sgrannel
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12 Aug 2009, 11:24 am

It doesn't bother me. This is the one area where I am probably closest to NT. A person who probably did some reading about this condition told her kids that I didn't understand the way they were playing, which is generally true, and that I didn't like to be touched, which is not true. However, my body language probably says "don't touch" a lot if I don't expect it, or for whatever reason even if I like it, I'm sending the wrong signals? This is probably how I came across with my friend's kids, because of the drooling, mucus and the possibility of being accidentally poked in the eye, not because they're touching me. Someone once got the impression that I didn't like her dog because of my nonverbal gestures. It wasn't the dog I dislike, but the drooling.

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LinnaeusCat
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12 Aug 2009, 11:30 am

Maditude wrote:

I equate hugging and touching with intimacy. I only want to be hugged or touched from whomever I am seeing.

That's definitely how I feel.

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RingRider
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12 Aug 2009, 11:37 am

Random touches from strangers or people I don't really like are a bit of a problem. Usually it's quite quick and over and done with before I can react but it completely disrupts my train of thought, getting bumped in a crowd always makes me check my wallet.

From people I do like however, I've got little problem but I have to be ready for it as other people have said.

Some random person coming up and hugging me would probably cause me to freeze up.

Spokane_Girl

12 Aug 2009, 11:37 am

Yes and no. I love getting rubbed but I hate lot of touch and I am okay with hugs when people ask me for one or ask to hug me. But I have been tolerating more touch my husband says.

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