GUY ASPIES: Do women approach you then quickly reject you?

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All they can hear is, "You are great". Anything else, they have to leave.

Women don't approach me, so I do all the approaching, but the result is the same.

OK, I'm getting really sad reading all these stories. So, I spoke with my husband, who is in sales (he is because he was so good with the ladies, that I told him he could convince anyone, so we went into sales) and does VERY well because of his great social skills, especially with the women (and no, I'm not jealous, probably cause I can't tell if anyone likes him either...)...

Anyway, he said he'd sit with me to reply to anyone asking for advice on how to talk to girls, what to do, etc...So if you want to discuss anything about girls, ok, nothing funky, then write here and I'll have him respond...

Women also do not notice me.

many painful experiences like that have taught me to keep my mouth SHUT and answer in 2 or 3 words.

small talk is torture for me so ive been trying to let them do the talking and use the 2 to 3 words to orchestrate the 'discussion'.

how are you?

nice to hear that.

really? tell me more.

no way! / that's great

etc.

Can't say its worked well but it certainly doesnt scare them away at first moment. The best response I get is that im the quiet person..some girls dig that...some girls just like the sound of their own voice... those that dont like it are better off not being with you to begin with so no big loss.

I can relate to that. I have to deal with beautiful women all the time; but I'm usually fixing their computer equipment... I show I care about them, and have 'canned small talk' (Weather, usual subjects), some lame jokes, and get through the thing with no problems. A lot of 'small talk' is just people 'on automatic'...how are you? doesn't usually mean that, it's just 'I acknowledge your presence'. The typical answer is 'fine'. It's when you come up with something else that really throws them...

I'm approached by women from time to time. I have the desire but, the skills just aren't there.

Can a girl answer this? I have the exact same problem. I can't stand talking to people I don't know, especially in that kind of setting. I know all too well that look when the smile drops and they realise you're "not all there...."

I have some questions for whatamess's husband.
I don't really go for small talk, I don't see the point, I want deep and meaningful. So if we at least manage to get to the stage of talking to a girl, what things might I ask her to open up the conversation into something a bit deeper? The other one is what is the right amount of eye contact so that she doesn't feel like you are not interested, but also so that she doesn't feel uncomfortable?

Some of my biggest regretful moments have been when this has happened. An attractive woman initiates some type of interaction and I turn into some unapproachable cold arrogant idiot and succeed in alienating them very quickly

The one major period of time that I was approached alot was in my High school biology class. Four of the girls in the class were always hitting on me (we're talking to the point where two of them were literally grabbing my arms from either end and playing tug of war with me) because I had the one thing they needed most at the time: I was the only person in the class that knew anything about the subject material. For the most part, I ignored them, as I was pretty sure that they didn't really like me (I was ugly then, and I am now), and this was confirmed the following year, when none of them wanted to pay any attention to me...

It's funny how some of you are saying that girls express interest and get upset that you don't express interest back. In my case, it seems like they don't WANT me to express interest. What happens with me is that when I start expressing interest back to them, they back away. It's like they have to be the ones initiating everything. I guess maybe sometimes I make a move too quickly, and it's hard for me to tell the difference between flirting and merely being friendly. Or maybe I'm just reciprocating the wrong way. This hasn't been so much of a problem lately though, as I've learned to let them make their moves and just respond in a casual manner.

I find that in addition to my ineptness, I'll often eventually feel ambivalence when women seem to be approaching me, in various ways. First off, even though I may be able to circumvent a good impression, then... what then, exactly? What do we do, how do we proceed? That's about as far as I ever get, and then I'm pretty much forced to strategically wrap things up to avoid total alienation, since one way or the other, whether I'm too reserved or too forward, that's what'll happen.

Also, I'm ambivalent when the woman who may be showing interest appears to be kind of thoughtless and self-absorbed. Y'know, kind of emotionally automatic? I acknowledge that I may be being hasty/shooting myself in the foot needlessly here, but I dunno... seeing the way some couples interract, maybe I'm better off, anyway? It's like they keep each other around to get worked up and then vent on each other all the time out of habit until they get tired of each other. They might enjoy being dysfunctional on some level, but I know I wouldn't.