Were you always 'different' ?

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no, silly question it is, everybody else is different, as a child it was deductable why there was pressure against me,
as a adult-adult its harder to understand, maybe its for the same reasons, don't work hard, don't be literal, don't look good, don't have smart kids (we don't think your kids are normal because they're not dating at 14, sort of normal,hey?) but be an blabbering idiot who's never learning nothing
it depends on what's normal? is it normal for people who know you not at all, to jump out of what they're doing to get at you, i've a hard time finding 'normal' in that!

nowadays the prize goes to retail, their insinuating defense pointing you out as mental for wanting a spare part, or holding up the standard that what you want has never ever existed, the harder the lie the more credibility?
gosh!

Difference has been fairly constant. Self-awareness of it still increasing.

Something tells me, if you never needed any of it before, why would you want it now?

Even though I think I would be a completely useless husband, I do dream about finding someone to settle down with one day. But I know I shouldn't think about being in a relationship with someone until I have found work and moved out of my mother's house.

However, at the age of 27, I do fear my time is running out. When I look in the mirror, I no longer see a young man anymore who has self-esteem issues. I now see a mentally challenged adult, who has had a Peter Pan Complex all these years. When you consider I have only been in one relationship, never asked a girl out before in my life, still live at home, and have never held down a job for longer than 6 months, the evidence is rather strong that there must be something fundamentally wrong with me.

I have tried various medications (Citalopram, Paxil, Sertraline, St John's Wort to name a few), but I suspect it's only my limited interests and stimming behaviours that have kept me relatively sane over the past decade.

Last edited by JakeASD on 09 Jul 2017, 8:46 am, edited 1 time in total.

I've definitely always been different. I've been called aloof more times than I can count. I've never made a close friend. Throughout my entire school career, I would latch onto one "friend" who I would have small talk with and sit with at lunch, but I wasn't really considered a friend and I was mostly just tolerated. We didn't talk about anything personal and I wasn't invited to do anything outside of school.

The thing that made my differences the most obvious, though, was that I was very good at sports but I never succeeded in making a friend on any of my sports teams. I showed up, played the game, and then sat by myself the rest of the time. I was praised for my abilities by coaches but never invited to any team activities. Generally the better players were the most well-liked but I found it difficult to even find a partner during practices. This left me feeling extremely depressed and stressed out and I remember always wondering what was wrong with me. In many ways, I've always been very good at passing for normal but people could always detect that there was something different about me and, despite my best efforts, they stayed away.

Not true Jake , although there may be some people who see being unemployed and living with your folks as negatives it has no relevance to a meaningful relationship. Society does tend to look down on the unemployed and there is sometimes a stigma attached to living with your parents as an adult but if you find the right girl these facts won't matter.

I've known that I was different from the age of 4. I had a strong desire to become a boy for one thing and I knew that I was different from the other neighbourhood kids as well. When the other kids were playing, I'd observe them to see how they were interacting in the same manner that a teacher would and than I would join them. I spent a lot of time playing alone in my bedroom rather than outside with the neighbourhood kids. The boys next door didn't like me because of my accent and they thought I was slow. That really made me feel different. I also knew I was different because I rambled on about my favourite things and the other kids didn't do that. Also, I wanted to recreate scenes from my favourite TV shows, while the other kids wanted to play tag and red rover.

I would say that I was "always different". Didn't wait till adulthood to be that way.

But wasn't really aware of being that way until round 8 (though apparently I was different before that).

Things came to a head at the end of Sixth grade when a very strange thing happened. The kids in my class all banded together to give me a kind of graduation present. They gave me an expensive chemistry set, with a microscope which they all chipped in for. We had spontaneous a little party at my house.

My parents were flabbergasted, and I was frankly kinda embarrassed.

The reason the class did that was out of collective guilt about 'giving me such a hard time the whole school year".

So I got bullied by everyone all year for being different, but the class felt so guilty about it that they tried to make amends, and did so by kinda ...acknowledging that though I was a wierdo - that I was also a brainiac who might like a chemesty set. And actually- I WAS kinda flattered by the gesture even if I was also embarrassed by it.


Even now its a bit overwhelming to think about that moment. So many issues it represents.

But I happen to be one of those people, Ferris. I believe it's imprudent for a female to enter into a relationship with a male who isn't currently in employment. There are exceptions of course, as he could be studying or signed off sick, but in most instances I believe it to be wrong.

Yeah I think I get what your saying - Essentially a girl should not date a guy who is unemployed due to being bone idol , a criminal or a degenerate - I seriously doubt you fall into these categories Jake.

Well, that's a nice sentiment the class did, but I'm assuming you'd prefer not being treated like a weirdo for all of sixth grade as opposed to getting a chemistry set.

Whilst I am considered to be an extremely soft and subservient individual, I have to accept that most members of the opposite sex would not even consider dating someone who is an unemployed autistic man child.

But I didn't mean to digress as this is not a thread on why it's so difficult to date when you are on the autism spectrum.

I thought you had moved out of your parents house maybe that one didn't work out for the good, I remember the schizo you lived with and brought up on the occasions you were learning to fend for yourself. You also have Ocd and everything was a broken mess? You've also 'been' in a relationship therefore you haven't had to ask anyone out. Not that I think this would happen. Having worked though, I think you just need more time to get used to something positive again.

Piece of info on disorder

Peter Pan Complex
Avoids responsibilities, people tell them they are childish and need to grow up, would rather live in their head than the real world, wants success to just happen to them, focuses on fantasies more than reality, believes they deserve to have whatever they want, life lacks direction, never know what to do next, does dumb things frequently, inconsistent performance, lazy, slacker, does the minimum to get by, does things without thinking, does not feel they have any reason to accomplish anything, tend to ignore or put off problems, believes fun is the most important thing in life, most people think they are crazy, forgets scheduled appointments, more past than future, gets attention through negative behavior

Sounds like Zombie Nation syndrome to me. Which doesn't exist.

Unfortunately I moved backed into my mother's house late last year after concluding that supported accommodation was inappropriate for my needs. Though I never felt threatened, one of my housemates was unabashedly homophobic and the other, with all due respect, had severe learning difficulties. They both left the front room in a complete mess, and I was repulsed to be living in the same house as them.

Much to my surprise, the only girlfriend I have ever had asked me out after we had spent a few months together in a therapeutic programme for those with BPD. Thankfully I have somehow managed to retain her friendship after upsetting her time and time again with my bluntness, lack of vocational stability and 'yo-yo' like behaviour.

And unfortunately I do meet most of the criteria for someone who has a PP complex. I am exceptionally lazy and immature, and I procrastinate so much that I have barely done anything since turning into a poor excuse of an 'adult' nine years ago.

If I cannot learn to feign an interest in other people, I suspect I am destined to be unemployed for my remaining years on plant earth. Hopefully I will be diagnosed with a type of ADD/ADHD later this year as I believe I am someone who needs to be taking something like adderall or ritalin to markedly improve my executive functioning.

Yep. Unfortunately, I had no way of explaining myself to people without any diagnosis. Even though I knew I was different, hiding my abnormalities wasn't something that even occurred to me until I was in middle school. The result was that most people - adults especially - labeled me based on their own shallow understanding of my issues. I've been "diagnosed" by such people as a liar, anorexic, gifted. Sometimes their efforts were well-meant but poorly aimed. All the same, I wish I could've either given them a name for my oddities or else had the good sense to hide my issues better. Now I'm known as the eccentric scholar among my peers, and that label is even more alienating than my issues themselves.

Both the year of being hassled, and the one moment being given the gift, were both two sides of the same coin. The coin of being treated differently. Didnt really like either thing. The more I think about it the being flattered part is kind of a later feeling about it that ties into other issues years later.