Do people act weirdly around you?

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By being treated weirdly I don't mean as in people being mean, I've experienced that and was bullied when I was younger. I mean as in people being awkward around you. I often have experiences with people where I will tell my friends about and they will go 'Huh, that's very strange. I have no idea why that would happen'. I have solved one so far which is the babying thing that some people do and that is because I apparently look terrified a lot of the time but others I still can't figure out.

People are often very awkward with me, even when I am being friendly and trying to start conversation, and not being shy and I have endless experiences of dealing with people just being silent in my presence, when they can often talk with other people. This happened once in class when we were doing a group discussion and every time I said something everyone would be really awkward. It's not people treating me like they dislike me, I've experienced that before and hate it, but more just awkwardness and doing strange things like staring at me or other weird actions that they don't do with others. Even confident people sometimes just become really weird with me and although outside I see them with ppl talking to them all the time and joking around in lesson, when we are together it is absolutely silent. I know sometimes people just don't gel but I know how I am treated is strange because my friends comment on it when they see me interacting with others.

However I will acknowledge that sometimes this can have positive effects as when things go well, some people open up to me super quickly and I can make friends on a sped up timeline and find that while things go weirdly with most, a few do really appreciate me.

I just wish I knew what I was doing with the majority of people that makes them act so weird. When people find out I'm on the spectrum (I was told when I was diagnosed with ASD that I would be in the middle of what was called Aspergers before and am just very good at hiding it) they are often in disbelief so it isn't even like I scream different. But this means that I am causing this in some way and have no idea what it is that I am doing in order to fix it. For some things it can be obvious but a lot just leave me confused and it is not like I can ask. Do you find this frustrating and how do you deal with it? Did you ever find out the culprits for you?

I do find that people treat me different. Almost like a dog that is not allowed to jump up. Is why I tend to avoid groups, as somehow I find myself outside a group rather then being part of the group.

Oh. The last group I went to was an autism support group. There were only a few of us there which made things easier. I arrived slightly late as there were floods ad the car in front decided to go slow speeds all the way in and there were no opportunities to pass though I was rather enjoying the floods. It was an adventure!
But at the group I put my foot in it big style. A gentleman who the autism team wanted me to meet because he lived near me was talking, and I thought he was talking about having no friends. I was very distracted by some lovely historic photos of places in the area which were on the walls and you know me... A visual mind... Old photos of old busses or cars in the locol area! I am in my element.
Well, not wanting to appear too distracted, as it is not polite to be part of a group and yet not listen to the conversation, when the gentleman was talking that he could not find a friend, I said "I can be your friend. I am a bit busy at the moment (I had a lot on during that week and the next week) but we can meet up".
Silence...
"Uhoh. What have I said wrong?" I thought to myself.
Then someone said that he was not looking for a boyfriend. He was looking for a girlfriend. I was soo embarissed I just didn't know what to say so I didn't. I thought he wanted an ordinary friend... I could not explain myself for the fear that if I said anything else, I would put my foot in it even more! I am not that good at explaining my self when I have put my foot in it. Haha!


Oops!

Why do embarissing situations like that happen to me? Haha!

I can get carried away and share jokes I have heard to people I should not have said them to as in my enthusiasm I may forget that the odd joke has rude implications!
I said something a couple of weeks ago like this and my Mum told me off and the guest we had was chuckling away for ages at my Mums reaction and me having come out with the joke!

Yes. I am quiet like a mouse and staring, then I am energetic and all over the place. I think folks are like "whaaaaaaat?" In my case the emotional dysregulation (extremes) are fairly obvious. Still folks don't think I am ASD. Just an intellectual, emotional, sensitive, energetic person.

I notice a certain awkwardness when in a setting with mostly neurotypical people. I know when people notice something different about another person, they'll have thoughts, and that's it's way of manifesting.

It'ssubtle, and they probably don't think I pick up on it, but I've grown very acutely aware of it at this point in my life. It's especially evident at the job that I'm at right now.

People at work normally don't talk to me. Out of 150+ people in an open office setting, I have less than five people who actually talk to me. I think just like how I don't know what to say, others don't know what to say to me too. I'm always with a fidget toy of some sort and my noise cancelling headphones and am very abrupt and uninterested in nonsense. Despite that, I still care what people think of me and sometimes try to fit in by wearing stuff similar to others even if it makes me uncomfortable and attempting to talk to others about things they talk about and it's always very awkward and I often do it wrong. I guess I just don't understand their humor or the way they gossip about work in a way that is appropriate. When I try, it is seemingly offensive, same with my humor. I often cut people off without meaning to if it is something I actually find interesting and say things that seem relevant to me but apparently aren't to others. Now that we are working from home, when I talk in the group chat I hear a chuckle followed by, "Well hello Nicole." I can even see the near laughter on some people's faces. It makes me feel uncomfortable but I don't know what to do about it. I guess it's just better to be yourself and stop caring so much whether or not I can fit in. I'm much happier at home away from the noise and mindless discussions anyway.

Usually in groups, I'm just ignored. If I make an attempt to join in a conversation, the best I can hope for is for everyone else to wait patiently until I'm done, then carry on talking as if I never said anything and am not there.

People also have a tendency to, when they actually notice me, treat me like a child. I think they can tell that something's up with me but can't quite put their finger on it, but usually they assume some sort of intellectual and/or developmental disability is involved. That, and I look young - at age 27, I still regularly get mistaken for a high school student.

I was ignored in a Zoom meeting a couple of days ago.

It’s a meeting where people “meet” remotely using their tablets, phones, PC’s.

Not heard of that.

It’ll become more common because of the coronavirus.

I get that, some people just are awkward around me, like they dont know what to make of me. Why is he always alone? Why is he not following this or that unwritten rule. Something about me makes them wary i guess. Perhaps they are mirroring my awkwardness.
Some people arent worth the effort to change their impression.. they dont deal with diversity of people well and dont make an effort so why should I?

And yes being patronised, ironically by women who take pity or something. Its the worst, makes me squirm!

Yes, people have acted weirdly like that around me all my life. It's extremely frustrating because I would love to be accepted or even make a couple of friends, but it seems impossible. I get the staring, the awkwardness, and the silence you described, or sometimes outright derision or hostility. Even during times in my life that I have tried my very hardest to fit in and be the same as everyone else that only mitigates it a little - they always pick up on something.

For most of my life, before I found out I was on the spectrum, I dealt with it by thinking of most people as a bunch of jerks that just act hateful for no reason, and just staying away from them as much as possible. Now I know the problem is with me, somehow, but I don't know how to fix it. I try to say hi and be friendly but somehow it doesn't seem to work for me the way it works for everyone else.