Special interests and over whelming negative thoughts

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Art is my interest I've managed to turn it into a job. It comes with a price as I can only paint things I'm interested in. If I paint something that isn't highly detailed or is something my brain isn't interested in it becomes really stressful,and can be distressing. Negative thoughts start overwhelming me to a point where I have to stop. I try telling people I can't paint things that aren't detailed or I'm not interested in but it seems they think it's a boredom thing or I'm being lazy when it's not. I really want to be able to paint anything but I can't. Is there a neurological/chemical basis for this,what is it? The world goes away when I paint,and even when my mental health is poor if I'm doing something of interest it acts as a distraction and is more therapeutic than usual. Do you have similar issues. Can someone explain in the correct terminology why this is.

Actually, you found a job with some similarities to your interest, but close only counts in horseshoes and shotguns. To get paid for doing what you like, you need an art dealer. To work as a commercial artist, you might be able to trick yourself into doing "preliminary studies."

Freelancing can be weird - Alexander King once did a painting of a whole ballroom to feature a product. The art director asked him to turn all the dancers a bit to the left. Alex tore up his painting and stormed out, but one of the flunkies caught up to him at the elevator to give a young man some advice. Grabbing a shard from the trash, he said "See this hand? You should have painted a big, hairy man's hand there."

"But that's a woman's hand!" Alex protested.

"Yes, and it would have given the Art Director something to criticize to earn his salary, and it would have taken you five minutes to fix."

This is really interesting to me, because I was going to post something similar. I have no knowledge of art (although I wish!) ... But I have some specific and special interests, that brings me a lot of joy, and a lot of heartache. So I thought I'd share this with you.

First off: I have no idea if I have Asperger's. My psychiatrist and psychologist have only just recently asked me to look into it. I don't feel like the 'symptoms' of Asperger's fit me, but they're asking me to talk to people anyway.

Especially regarding these special interests, and the negative thoughts. I have been diagnosed with clinical depression last year, but I'm aware that I've had it for at least 3 years or more. I was getting better on medicine, but I have a problem that keeps dragging me back into my depression - or even worse, starts it all over.

My special interest (more like obsession) is stories. Movies, TV-shows, books, games - anything with a good story, I can become completely enraptured by, to the point where I do nothing but think of this thing for months.

I know that a lot of people do that - it's common with "fandoms", and believe me, I've already been to every forum possible, talked to every fan of the series I like and much more.

I know that it's common for people to become upset and sad when their favorite TV-series end. It's a normal process. But I feel it a lot different - a lot stronger perhaps.

When a TV-series end for me, I fall into a depression. A real depression - not just sadness.
When a series end, I won't be able to think of anything else for months. From anywhere between 3 to 6 months (or even more) I feel nothing but that sadness. I really try to think of other things - but everything in the world will remind me of this feeling.

I can't explain it that well - the only way I can describe it, is as though you lost someone important to you. A friend, a family member - The grief you feel is what I feel when a series stop.

It's silly, because I love series so much. I have no idea why I feel this way? And I know there's a difference between what I feel, and what other people normally feel when a series end. I can tell ... Because they can listen to music that reminds them of this series, with nostalgia. I can't ... Because it pushes me back into this depression.

I have looked everywhere for someone who feels the same way - either about stories, or about their own special interests. I haven't found anyone. I don't know if what you have is the same - but as soon as I read "special interests" and "over-whelming negative thoughts", I just had to share.


I hope some of the awesome suggestions from others here helps you though!

Might it be test anxiety?

"Test anxiety is a combination of physiological over-arousal, tension and somatic symptoms, along with worry, dread, fear of failure, and catastrophizing, that occur before or during test situations. It is a physiological condition in which people experience extreme stress, anxiety, and discomfort during and/or before taking a test. This anxiety creates significant barriers to learning and performance." -wikipedia.org

What do your negative thoughts say when you attempt to draw something that doesn't interest you? I've found it helpful to write down my negative thoughts. It helps take away a bit of their power over me. It's work in progress.