Have people ever showed you hostility for not hanging out

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Todesking
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02 Jun 2010, 12:06 am

Have people ever showed you hostility for not hanging out with them after work? This has happened at both of the jobs I worked. At first, before co-workers get to know how weird I am, I get invited by the co-workers to hang out after work. I always refuse but say no politely. I usually say I do not drink or lie and say I have a part time job after work which sometimes works. But they always see me walking to the store or see me in the store at the times I am supose to be working the part time job. 8O I really do not want to be around drunk people or go to strip joints to have some skanky chick to rub up on me. I'd rather be hated by the co-workers then have them see how stange I am if I am put into these situations. I know if I explained my situation to those people the abuse would have been worst to try to get me to quit. I saw them do it to some new strange employee who talked to himself. He quit after they picked on him so much. These same co-workers teased me but it was not something I could not handle. My resteraunt job had a union and I was able to take action but the the machine shop job was a small operation with about 12 workers.



flyingkittycat
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02 Jun 2010, 12:09 am

YES and it's highly annoying.



cyberscan
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02 Jun 2010, 12:12 am

Most people don't invite me to hang out with them, so it is not a problem.


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02 Jun 2010, 12:20 am

I've never had people from work ask me to hang out with them. Do people really do that? I thought that was just an exaggerated reality they use for movie purposes.

I have had "friends" be... maybe not hostile, but weird towards me when I don't want to hang out. Probably because they only ever want to hang out when it's convenient for them, which is not too often, and they assume I'll say yes when they ask because it's been a while.


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Todesking
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02 Jun 2010, 12:52 am

I have a real weird and vulgar sense of humor that some people like. Its my attempt to use humor to gain friends. Its like a curse though, I say off the wall funny stuff and I attract the type of people I do not want to be around and the people I would like to befriend think I am awfull for the things I say. I guess they think I would be funnier or raunchier outside of work, I do not really know. :roll: I cannot win.



Kiseki
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02 Jun 2010, 12:58 am

Yes.

I usually feel like I have to make up some good excuse as for why I won't hang out. Can't really say "Well, I'd rather just stay home and watch a movie."



Todesking
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02 Jun 2010, 1:18 am

Kiseki wrote:
Yes.

I usually feel like I have to make up some good excuse as for why I won't hang out. Can't really say "Well, I'd rather just stay home and watch a movie."


They either think you are stuck up or actually hate them I guess. Nutty :roll:



Kiseki
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02 Jun 2010, 1:24 am

Todesking wrote:
Kiseki wrote:
Yes.

I usually feel like I have to make up some good excuse as for why I won't hang out. Can't really say "Well, I'd rather just stay home and watch a movie."


They either think you are stuck up or actually hate them I guess. Nutty :roll:


I know! I totally don't get it! I wouldn't get offended at all if someone said that to me.



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02 Jun 2010, 3:50 am

I'm a little too tall and big across the shoulders for people to be hostile to me about not hanging out with them.

I have had comments like 'you've been in hibernation mode for a few months' and 'why don't you ever come to parties we invite you to'.

In answer to the last question, I tell them that I find their other invitees (it was ALWAYS the same people at the parties) boring.
- strangely enough, one of the compulsive party arrangers used to complain after EVERY party at his house, that HIS guests were boring :!: :!: :!:


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Swordfish210
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02 Jun 2010, 3:58 am

Kiseki wrote:
Todesking wrote:
Kiseki wrote:
Yes.

I usually feel like I have to make up some good excuse as for why I won't hang out. Can't really say "Well, I'd rather just stay home and watch a movie."


They either think you are stuck up or actually hate them I guess. Nutty :roll:


I know! I totally don't get it! I wouldn't get offended at all if someone said that to me.


True! It's not that you don't like them, you just have better/nicer things to do than hang around with them.


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Claradoon
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02 Jun 2010, 6:20 am

I hate that groupie office stuff. Once I got a new job and spent my lunch hours walking. The office had a custom (all female staff) of eating together in the boardroom on the day when the new Cosmo came out. This is a custom that is still beyond my understanding. But the Supervisor came to me and asked me to join them on Cosmo Day, "just like the rest of us." That's a phrase to watch out for. If you turn down that invitation (as I did - need my daily walk) then you become "the one who does not want to be like the rest of us" (NT logic?) and from there it's a short hop to "stuck-up" etc.

What to do about all that? Well, I retired. :) Thank heaven that's over.



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02 Jun 2010, 8:34 am

The girls that I worked with, at the factory, a while ago, always wondered why I didn't want to go to the bar with them, after work. They would also say something along the lines, that I might meet a nice guy. Something that I wasn't interested in and that I'm still not interested in, to this day. They also didn't realize that I got a little too close to a guy in college, who ended up treating me like I was ret*d, in the end, and that really hurt. I wasn't going to let that happen, again, and nor do I want to.


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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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02 Jun 2010, 10:23 am

Todesking wrote:
Have people ever showed you hostility for not hanging out with them after work? This has happened at both of the jobs I worked. At first, before co-workers get to know how weird I am, I get invited by the co-workers to hang out after work. I always refuse but say no politely. I usually say I do not drink or lie and say I have a part time job after work which sometimes works. But they always see me walking to the store or see me in the store at the times I am supose to be working the part time job. 8O I really do not want to be around drunk people or go to strip joints to have some skanky chick to rub up on me. I'd rather be hated by the co-workers then have them see how stange I am if I am put into these situations. I know if I explained my situation to those people the abuse would have been worst to try to get me to quit. I saw them do it to some new strange employee who talked to himself. He quit after they picked on him so much. These same co-workers teased me but it was not something I could not handle. My resteraunt job had a union and I was able to take action but the the machine shop job was a small operation with about 12 workers.

I never got invited to go anywhere with coworkers, but, I notice this happening with family members and to a lesser extent, neighbors. Neighbors tend to resent me for staying away from them and avoiding, but I absolutely refuse to ever get involved with them. From my point of view, I am avoiding trouble by avoiding them, since I don't want to get involved with their petty politics and bs. From their point of view, I must be up to no good because I work so hard to avoid them. Still, it's far less stressful avoiding them and dealing with their suspicion than getting involved with their high stress bs.



Todesking
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02 Jun 2010, 10:30 am

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
I never got invited to go anywhere with coworkers, but, I notice this happening with family members and to a lesser extent, neighbors. Neighbors tend to resent me for staying away from them and avoiding, but I absolutely refuse to ever get involved with them. From my point of view, I am avoiding trouble by avoiding them, since I don't want to get involved with their petty politics and bs. From their point of view, I must be up to no good because I work so hard to avoid them. Still, it's far less stressful avoiding them and dealing with their suspicion than getting involved with their high stress bs.


Most of my neighbors hate me because everytime they tried to talk to me I'd turn away from them then walk away. They would ask my brother whats up with me he would laugh and tell them your lucky he walked away and did not scream at them.



WeatherFreak
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02 Jun 2010, 10:40 am

The only time people want me to Hang out , is to get drunk :roll:



Swordfish210
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02 Jun 2010, 10:56 am

The group of people from my class I used to hang out with, because my friend was in it, would ask me to come with them to drink.
If I'd say no, they'd come to my house in the evening and hang around untill my mum would say: "Go out with your friends, friendship needs working on you know." Which really irritated me. I just wanted to be left alone!


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