Aspergers "introspection" and withdrawal.

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If there's any AS person reading this who has gone through major shutdown, would it be counterproductive to continue to contact him and how often-ish... any clues?

Hi everyone,

This is mainly geared towards people who have had a significant period of burnout relating to long term shutdown, before an official dx of AS(and how you managed after a dx) in and around mid-life age. I can name the month and year that it started for me. November, 2007 before diagnosis. However, the reason that I did not post this in the In-depth Adult discussion forum is because I would like others opinions or experience.

And I also apologise if this has been discussed to death.

Did you find or experience a specific period of time where you could not function and withdrew to the point of lengthy silences and even lost the COGNITIVE ability to "connect" with people?
Yes... all the yes

Did people you are close to make comments like "You are more distant than usual/you stare into space constantly/you stim more". ?
Yes

In this period of burnout or shutdown, did your needs become more important than ever, in the case of feeling so needy that meltdowns ensue over the slightest change in routine, to the point were you feel like a 5 year old? For instance, every tuesday night I watch Insight on SBS. Last week my partner said to me, "What are you going to do when Insight finishes for the season? You need to start thinking about how you are going to fill that time slot, babe. Just be a bit better prepared so you don't suffer too much when it finishes." I sobbed like a baby and rocked away on my chair.
No because I just did... Nothing

Did you often lament the seeming loss of IQ, or feel like your brain was a limp, saturated sponge that simply can't take anymore data in, and the data given to you goes around in this continuous loop like some massive decoder? Does it go on for weeks or days, one experience, trying to find the right data retrieval from a massive cognitive data base, to process it?
Went on for 3 months. Then off and on for a subsequent 3 months.

Did your sensory issues become so painful that you can barely tell which direction you are facing somedays?
I didn't leave the house most of the time

I have read the document "Help! I seem to be getting more Autistic" and I agree with most of it, vehemently. It is EXACTLY how I am. But it is hard not to think of this as "regression". I do not want to make light of cognitive impairment diseases, but this feels so horrible, that I can only compare it so some quasi-dementia. And not having dementia, but knowing the symptoms.

I need to know that I am not alone in this and more importantly, I need to know that I am not going completely mad.
You're not alone and not going mad and what's most important: it's not permanent. Sounds like total bs right now, but without even noticing, it will eventually dissipate. The thing is not to be mad at yourself for this. Self-blame will lead to more stress and feeling bad etc. This is not your fault and there's nothing you can really do but try to take care of yourself and take it one day at a time. It will pass.

Mics

Thanks for this. Yes, this is disturbing when it happens, and somewhat disturbing when it goes away even, because you wonder: what's really changed to make me feel so different? Did I misremember how awful that was?

It's just nice to be validated that yes, that experience is real, and yes, it can come and go. I like to think I know the signs well enough now to take care of myself so that they don't escalate to that point, and it drives home the point even more that it's important not to wear an NT mask as your personality or feel ashamed for being yourself in public. The cost is just too high.