Stimming?

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I don't think I really have any stims (hand flapping, etc). I do rub my forehead when I'm super upset and crying but it's not an 'all the time' thing. One thing I know I do that comforts me and makes me feel safe and cozy is tucking my legs up kinda under me when I'm sitting on the couch and when I"m laying in bed reading I usually bunch up the blanket and tuck it up against my chest. I also find the fetal position comforting or even just one knee bent up to my chest (well, as far as it'll reach!) and the other straight while on my side. These aren't repetitive things though. Would they be considered stims??

I've got a particular oddity that I've not been able to categorise until now.

I *need* to have a fan blowing in my face most of the time. I have a fan on my desk at work, one on my desk at home, I always have the aircon on in the car.

I used to have one on the bedside table at night too, but that caused some wife-agro. I still struggle to get to sleep without it, but I'm managing.

My diagnosed son, completely independently of me, does the same thing.

I don't know if that's stimming, but seems like it to me.

I'm not as of yet officially diagnosed with anything, though I do have some possibly stim-type behaviours;

I tap/move my feet almost constantly whilst sitting,
I rub my fingers together repeatedly, as well as rubbing my nose repeatedly,
I also often find myself rocking whilst sitting,
and also, I constantly click/tap my teeth together?

In any case, I wouldn't be able to tell you what could be considered stimming or not,
as it's not something I've personally put a large amount of research into...

I've never been 100% clear on the difference between a stim and a fidget/habit, especially since some fidgets/habits can look stim-like and still be pretty hard to break. Could anyone explain in detail what the difference is?

Teeth chattering, lip biting, and sometimes the whole rocking back and forth thing if I'm really anxious.

I see countless things described here that are fidgets and not stims. An Autistic stim is a constant, or very near constant body movement that one does to diffuse intense anxiety (sometimes it may include making noise, but that almost always accompanies motion of some sort). Its something you do because if you force yourself to stop doing it, your anxiety will rapidly rise to the panic attack level. It is not done out of boredom. Autistic stims may stop temporarily when the mind is focused on a specific task and away from the hyperanxiety, but will resume automatically as soon as attention is diverted from the task. I find the stim motions to have a similar effect to rocking in a rocking chair. Its the same stimulation that causes babies to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

I believe that the AS tendency toward talking to oneself also stems from the same anxieties, however, IME talking to myself does nothing to diffuse my anxiety and may occasionally make it worse.

I knew that I had sims but I was not aware of how many or how frequent. I have been biting my fingernails and sides of my fingers, the insides of my mouth and anything soft and chewy that I can get in my mouth (the dashboard of my parents car) from the time I got teeth. Most people think fingernail biting is a habit but to the extreme and constant extent I do it, it is a stim. I also do it to quell my anxiety. When Im not chewing on my hands I either obsessively run my hands through my hair, twist and flick my fingers or rub my face. I also do this thing where I interlock my fingers and rub them back and forth. When Im alone or VERY stressed I do rock, pull my hair or pinch myself.

Also like you I sit in a wrapped up position. People have always remarked about the odd way I sit. I think the curling in on ones self or squeezing. I think this is mainly feeds a sensory need I have. I like deep pressure and I also like stinging snapping sensations so I wear rubber bands sometimes and snap my wrist. When I was a kid my grandmother used to freak out and tell me I was going to cut off my circulation with the rubber bands. Ive been doing all this stuff since I was a kid, its just sort of an instinctual way to make yourself feel better.

The way my Psychiatrist explains it is that most people have filters and autistic people are lacking in these filters so we do certain things to try to compensate for that.

I could see talking to oneself stem from the same anxiety, however I find it hard to find a why that it can serve exactly the same function.

To take the place of a stim you would have to almost be talking to yourself constantly, during the situation that is causing you a problem, I don't really see that working. Having someone else overhear what you are saying to your yourself is anxiety inducing, from reading threads here about talking to yourself, I would argue this is true for almost everyone.

You can talk yourself down from a bad situation, but I don't think you can talk to yourself to avoid a bad situation, I think that is a key difference.

I rock back and forth, involuntarily, when I'm intensely concentrating on something, when reading, for example, and forcing myself to stop is extremely uncomfortable. Some people have said that it's a stim, but having read your description I'm not sure anymore because I don't think I'm doing it to diffuse anxiety.