Aspie Meltdown

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When I have one it is like I am a raging angry person. And when I am not having one I am so kind and sweet. I just wanted to know what you all feel when you have a meltdown and how you explain to people what it is like.

I cry over small things (usually a comment someone makes to me) sometimes the college issue still. It's peaceful sometimes to cry I feel good afterwards strange enough.

I get really angry and/or nervous. I normally get really defiant when this happens. I got in trouble a few times at school for leaving school grounds. If you are in a situation where you can, it might help going for a walk, alone. I like walking in the woods because there's no people. It helps a little.

I go from 17 to 5 in about a millisecond.

During my son's meltdowns, (he is only 11 & pdd-nos) he will crawl Under something, and u can visibly see him go within himself. You can't touch him at all at these times.
Me, I have not been dx , but through my children i have learned Very much about myself. When I meltdown, there is a pattern. Everything becomes too overwhelming. I need to shut everything out. (it is like i went back to being a toddler and not talking anymore). After things calm for me, I get headaches. It feels as if i was in the middle of a twister. It is like too many personalities tried to join at once. (I am dissociative-nos) The shutting down is very similar (as i noticed) as my sons shutting down.
Does any of this sound familiar to anyone? luvinmom4life

I just get mean and hurt everyone around me. And I am not meaning to. Like I say you don't care about me, Noone cares about me. You are just goign to reject me anyway. Then they reject me. I don't know how to stop it. does anyone else do this?

My final "unwarranted" meltdown was about six years ago, after this incident I started becoming increasingly aware of all the numerous struggles I'd been facing throughout my ENTIRE life. It really stunned me to consider it all!

I carried so much blame and resentment for so many years -- towards everybody I ever knew -- that alone was the worst aggravator. I never understood why I had such a difficult time getting along with others, never fitting in. I thank God for all the people here in this forum, seriously.

I used to have them intermittently from the time I was a small child up until about the mid-1990s. I could tell it was happening/escalating because I'd get this weird feeling like my heart was racing and my stomach clenching and my head felt like it was in a tornado, but it was hard to stop and if whatever it was that was causing me to become distressed didn't stop, I'd go into a rage that I only remembered parts of. It was provoked but WAY out of proportion to whatever provoked it. Once I broke my finger during a meltdown by pounding on of all things an alarm clock. I had to go to work afterwards and then I felt like crap because when ppl asked, I lied about how I hurt myself (ashamed to tell the truth, but dont' like lying either). Around the mid-90s (around the time I turned 30) I started to become more aware of that feeling and when it started I would go into a room by myself, turn the lights off, and put a pillow or towel over my ears so no sound could get in, then just try to go numb. Over time, I became better at it so that I could just close my eyes and start to "go numb". Problem with that approach is that now I don't have that kind of meltdown any more (I still get angry but it's limited to much more "normal" expressions like shouting or cussing or dirty looks), but I am a lot more numb. I can only cry if I'm alone, and even then there's not much relief from the stress. At least this is more socially acceptable...

~Kate

I turn into a different person...completely lost in the moment and irrational...something I'm usually not as I tend to be a very retrospective and cautious in my everyday life....I'll say and do very hurtful or dangerous things in the moment and don't realise I'm doing it.I tend to go from extremes after it...from hysterical crying to numbness.i act like a child having a tantrum.

My wife [sample this evening] generally melts into despair, tears, verbal lashing out. At times has included vigorous motion.

Son is likely to go into anger with loud blame.

Me, generally more shutdown than melt down - silent, curling into a ball mentally if not physically, internally rage / despair. Not infrequently in the past motion away from the site, I might shout briefly or throw something [usually unbreakable], SOMETIMES followed by stealthy defiant action - breaking a serious rule, for example.

at first i just shut down and wont response and if i do response i just use sectences like "no" "go away" if no one leaves me alone and just keeps on asking questions i get really anxious and headbang on wall

I used to find breaking things therapeutic during a meltdown. These days though, if there is too much going on, I stim and tic a lot, and I need to go somewhere quiet. The stimming and the tics don't usually stop until at least 10 minutes after I go somewhere else.

My meltdown would normally be wanting to be alone and cry of frustration or not say a single word.
When it does get to the worst point, all I remember is that I be kicking and throwing things (which I don't do often).

I can't look at anyone and need to block everything out. I rock and hide my head in my hands or crossed arms. at these times I wish I hasd a reset button. It's wierd the things that can cause a meltdown, even grocery shopping, anything with numerous sensory processing requirements, sometimes even stuff being out of order in my home will do it.

Desperate.

I don't really relate to people during a meltdown. If I can access speech, I won't be able to use it very well. The usual fallout involves crying and often ending up on the floor somehow. Needless to say, I try to predict them and get somewhere private before I do anything very embarrassing. Apparently I look to be in more danger than I actually am, because my last public one had the disability services people at my college calling the campus police. They were afraid I was going to hurt myself.

My aspie meltdowns are more like aspie BSODs: I stop responding, except to occasionally snap at whoever keeps trying to talk to me about one of the trigger subjects.