Using Aspergers as a crutch or excuse ??

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I used to use it as an excuse when I actually came to terms with having AS, but something along the way turned my mind around and I realized that I wanted to -- and was able to -- do just fine if I put in the work.

I feel a certain dignity is achieved when I keep Asperger's to myself and push through whatever needs to be done anyway. So far, I have not accepted any special treatment or accommodation, even if it was available. If I felt I truly needed it, I would have taken it.

Some people really can't get away with this, and this post is not intended to put them down, but some of us can. I find it very satisfying to succeed by myself, despite any general idea that I shouldn't be able to.

Yeah, my mother wasn't convinced either until I read her some of the verbal diagnostic criteria.

My mother thought I was acting that way on purpose all of those years and just being difficult and lazy.

I also used my AS as an excuse in the past but my family never did. I learned at 18 just because I have AS does not give me the right to be rude or not be polite and inconsiderate and not be responsible for my actions.

My mom never treated me like I had a disability and she never made excuses for me or had things be okay for me to do.

I hardly blame anything on my AS. Things I say or do I see as part of my personality. Same as my opinions and how I view things.

When I struggled getting a job, I blamed it on lack of work experience. Then when I lost my part time job, I blamed me not getting another job on the economy and my laziness since I wasn't trying hard enough. Last time I looked for one everyday and went out all the time applying but this time I wasn't.

Sometimes it is easy to just blame it on your AS than looking at the other reasons.

A lot of you guys are very open about your AS but it's something I'm very uncomfortable talking about and avoid doing so as much as possible. So no, I don't use it as a excuse.

I do not do that. I think it is very dangerous to rely on the handicap as a crutch. I found that whenever this attitude of passive acceptance creeps in, it leads to a kind of psychological implosion and deep depression, which paralyzes further attempts to cope. I keep trying to adapt to all circumstances, no matter how difficult, until a time arrives when things go better.

edit: sorry, it was my asperger talking.

Its complete and utter logic to blame AS for one's failure, afterall, it is the disability that holds them back. If AS isn't to blame, then by golly, the whole diagnosis is rubbished straightaway. It would be a meaningless condition, that most likely never existed at all.

Think about it: Are you better off using a "crutch" to walk faster, or refusing to use one and not being able to walk at all? If you need it, then use it, for heaven's sake!

What's more important: Doing things the way everybody else does them--or doing them, period? If you can't do things the way everybody else does, you simply cannot beat yourself up for it and insist that you just need to "try harder", when there are alternative methods that you CAN do.

But lots of people with disabilities insist that it must be the normal way or nothing, and tire themselves out and become frustrated and unhappy, simply because they've bought into the idea that the normal way to do things is the only acceptable one.

The hard part for me is realizing how much the AS is in my life. There's aspects of AS in everything I do. So if I fail, I know I fail, but it's mainly my fault, but it's possible (the first time) it's the AS.

But the AS is part of you... it's not some unwanted attachment you're carrying around. I mean, it's like saying, "That's not my cat; that's just her tail," when the tail is a part of the cat, and a very expressive part, too. (Really, they use their tails to talk; check it out next time you interact with a cat.)

When you fail because you have AS, it's not like the AS is some external thing preventing you from succeeding; it's because you tried to approach the problem while assuming that you have the same resources and abilities that NTs do. But you don't--you're autistic; and that means you are good at some things and bad at some things that the NTs aren't. If you try to solve something the NT way and then blame it on the Asperger's when you fail, you may technically be right; but it's more like, "Well, my cat failed to fetch the newspaper because she's a cat," not, "My cat failed to fetch the newspaper because she's a defective dog." If my cat wants the newspaper, she goes to the newspaper, mews at me, rubs her cheek on the paper, and makes it very plain what she wants. That's the cat way of doing things. It's not inferior to the dog way, no matter how many people think all animals should be capable of fetching newspapers. (Besides, she's a tiny seven-pound cat and not strong enough to drag the newspaper anywhere in the first place.)

I rather keep my diagnosis discreet and I wouldn't dare to use it as a excuse either, I probably end up looking and feeling ridiculous and second of all, I won't learn from my mistakes that way.

From where I am, there seems to be a lot of hate about autism, so if I say "I'm sorry, I'm autistic, I can't help it," I really don't think I would be liked or accepted and probably at this rate would be taken the piss out of. I've already seen a autistic kid get bullied once and it was horrible and he pretty much was innocent. (By the way, was talking about my area).