What can we do to getout of Autism?

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My parents hate me for the "loser" i have become, they dont beleive that I have Autism, even though Hundreds of things point to it, they ignore and and choose to say I suck,

My dad hates me for not being social and friendy and not being athletic like he is, im basically the black sheep, ignored and looked down upon.

HOW CAN I GET OUT OF THIS?

I tried for a year with will power to change, it didnt work tho, im still on the bottom and have an empty wallet, no job, no friends.

Drinking alcohol also sucks, i was doing it to gain an appetite but after one night of 6 teqila shots in my room, I felt TErrible. Hangover hell at 4am, lots of vomit, the whole 9 yards.

WHAT can we do?

Corp, I'm really sorry to hear that. It is indeed a tough situation, though not one exclusive to autism.

What do you like to do? What are you good at?

Im good at watching movies, thats about it. Seriously tho, im good at nothing.

well you could try going for vocational rehabilitation.

I think you should be asking yourself, "What can we do to get out of depression?" Because that's what I've been seeing from you... not so much autism as a sense of feeling trapped, hopeless, and worthless.

Ben Kenobi said in the first Star Wars movie: "we can't win, but there are alternatives to fighting". You know, maybe you won´t be social and friendy or athletic like your father but you can develop other things. One thing that helped me become more social was group therapy. And from what I been reading about other people that also helped them. Right now I am like you like no money, no friends, no job and no degree (I was kicked). Also my brothers work and I don´t although my dad is ok with that.

You father is been a jerk treating you this way. He should know that your development in certain areas (sports, sociability) might be a little slower than other people and he should accept that. Or maybe it isn´t even that you want for your life! If they want you to develop faster they should pay you psychotherapy or group therapy. These will help you.

Look at me. I´m the older brother and I still don´t work. And I´m 4 years older than you livin´ with my dad´s pocket money (although he is generous). I know ridiculous. You gotta keep it calm. In the future things will work out well.

With me its more or less my grandfather disowning me for losing my job and s**t, and that really is a point of contention for me for a while, so I can relate, since my dad is similar in some ways.

Unlike some on the spectrum, I AM SOCIAL, but there is the fact my areas have no groups of any kind or anything, as well as the fact having no money doesnt help matters any.

We can stop feeling sorry for ourselves.

yeah, go list some damn "positives" because really, there is not a damn thing about being unemployed that is positive.

I applied to about 70 places, got two interviews, didnt get the job, thumbs up for you cocky and rebel.

I know how it is to be the black sheep, I still am. I have a job, and house and stuff, but even that isn't enough, I have to behave like everyone else and I am under pressure to have kids (I really don't want to have any)

Something tells me that even if you where to do everything they wanted, it would not be enough, just do what is right for you.

Maybe you could work as a movie critic. It's worth a try. It doesn't take great people skills.

If you have to write something, spell check and don't use chatspeak. If you have to talk to someone, make sure you smile when you meet them, square your shoulders and do not move either hand behind you. Look at the person's forehead or nose occasionally, especially when they're saying something important, but not constantly. Try to sound and look passionate-- keep your back straight, try not to fidget or stim obviously, vary the pitch and volume of your voice. The last syllable of questions should have a slight rising tone. Let your voice trail off slightly on statements, but be sure not to trail off too dramatically. If possible, make hand gestures-- when you have a stressed (slightly louder) syllable, a quick, sharp movement of one or both hands will probably be appropriate. Pounding the table will not be appropriate except in anger, and anger will almost certainly be inappropriate. More flowy hand gestures can accompany other things that you say-- mentioning something about an unfolding plot development in a film, say, could be accompanied by bringing your right hand upward slightly and swiveling until it's palm up and just to the right of your body (STILL IN FRONT OF YOU).

Don't mumble and don't talk to yourself; enunciate, but not exaggeratedly. Do not talk to your feet or hands-- project your voice straight toward the person you're talking to. Look at his forehead. Act as if you think "I will get this job, and I want you to know it."

To give you some idea of how speaking passionately works, let's look at that sentence. If we use / to mean the loudest syllable possible (NOT a scream-- simply forceful speech, at the upper end of "conversational volume"), x to mean the softest (not a whisper per se, but slurred over somewhat) and \ for somewhere in between, then the sentence "I will get this job, and I want you to know it" scans thus:
x / x x \ x \ \ x x / x

"I am the ideal candidate for this job because I am intimately familiar with chickens' preferences with regard to cacti." (random example)

/ \ x x / / x x x \ x x \ \ x / x x x x / x x \ x / \ x x x / \ / \

"Ideal" can safely be x / or / \ depending on your preference. I think the latter sounds more British.

Be sure to bathe within the 24 hours immediately before the interview. Brush your hair in the half hour before if it's longer than the first two joints of your little finger. Brush your teeth the morning of or after the last meal before the interview, whichever is later. You can google for the proper dress code.

Be open and friendly-- smile often. Remember to contract the orbicularis oculi muscle when you do, so that you give yourself crow's feet. Show your teeth with at least some smiles. Don't cross your arms. Leave an open line between your chest and that of the person you're talking to. You can move across it, but don't position either arm so as to block it completely.

If female, wear tasteful lipstick. "Tasteful" here means red. Not shimmery, not pink. Not loud. Do not use cinnamon to plump your lips unless they're unusually thin. Color inside the lines. Ask a friend or a salesperson what shade of lipstick to use.

So anyway. Look for a job as a movie critic, or maybe a scriptwriter if you think you have the aptitude and want to try it. You could also try to get blue collar work related to movies, like... I dunno, maybe they need a janitor. For that matter, you might get blue collar work at McDonald's.

If you fail, as you have, remember that the economy sucks. There are NTs out there with advanced degrees sitting around unemployed.

Also, seventy places? First of all, there must be something you can change to increase your odds of success. Second, good for you! You persevered! It didn't work out yet, but it will. Keep it up!

A change of attitude is in order. Your dad is one person. Do you care about the opinion of one single person? Maybe. But he's not God. And if you're not friendly and athletic, you're not friendly and athletic. Something wrong with that?

I was actually gonna suggest something similar. and the smiling thing, not everyone can do it, trust me on that, some people when they smile look like psychopaths with the big slasher smiles.


As for a suggestion to you Corp, might as well try to do something similar to what Im gonna do. Since your a movie person, maybe you can get a degree in filming or animation. Yeah it may be difficult to get a job in the field, but at least while your doing the classes, maybe you will feel like you are getting somewhere. Thats what I am gonna be doing come spring, hoping to get a degree in audio engineering/music, as well as filling the free electives with english courses. My aim being to open a nightclub in my area because there is nothing to do (and all the people round my age constantly b***h bout having to hang out like 30 miles away. As A side project ill take the english courses to help my writing ability, since I love to write stories.

My cousin's in that field, and it wasn't actually too hard for her to get a job. There is a lot of technical work to be done behind-the-scenes of a movie, TV show, commercial... etc., and that means a decent number of jobs for qualified people.

Well, I could actually get into it fairly easily, since I have 2 relatives that work in the industry. One is more of an adviser for the producers/director (a liason of sorts), The other actually heads soundtrack work/development/composition.

Do you have a diagnosis?

Judging from what your parents say, it seems that you don't.

If you can do this, it might help relieve the misunderstanding coming from your family.

You do sound depressed. Really depressed. I would really take steps to deal with that. From my own experience

it's hard to move forward, experience any self-esteem or positive thinking when I'm depressed.

You need real life support. I'm sorry if that seems unhelpful, but I don't see how you can get it together to find work

when you're in this kind of state of mind.

You need a baseline of self acceptance and empowerment to move forward.