How did you or your aspie child survive high school
I became more outgoing and realized that about 60% of my peers liked me. I also learned that most of the people who liked me thought that I should be protected, so I wasn't bullied anymore once I made enough friends. It was hard for me to strengthen friendships, so I had many acquaintances and few close friends. I made As and high Bs in my classes.
ValentineWiggin
Veteran
Joined: 15 May 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,907
Location: Beneath my cat's paw
It's college that's terrible.
Weird, for me it's the total opposite.
Living at home, predictable schedule structure and a small learning environment with familiar people would seem to be an Aspie paradise
College brought with it major executive dysfunction thanks to (attempting to) live on my own for the first time
combined with sensory issues thanks to commuting downtown in a major city, huge lecture classes and extreme social isolation
I was a straight A student and MENSA member in high school, and as of now, I'm on academic suspension from the major university I attempted to attend afterward.
_________________
"Such is the Frailty
of the human Heart, that very few Men, who have no Property, have any Judgment of their own.
They talk and vote as they are directed by Some Man of Property, who has attached their Minds
to his Interest."
Last edited by ValentineWiggin on 29 Dec 2011, 12:27 am, edited 1 time in total.
I'm still in high school but I have survived thus far by being in sports/clubs. Become part of activity that you enjoy. I have always enjoyed running and decided to join cross country running in 9th grade. I didn't expect much from it but I ended up loving it and joining other sports as a result. I made several new friends and had the chance to be on varsity in cc running, and later in nordic skiing and distance track. Joining sports helped me find people with similar interests.
Taking AP classes have also helped me a lot because I can be friends with the other AP class nerds without feeling too awkward. I also have more homework which prevents me from having much of a social life anyways. When I'm not always busy, I try to enjoy all the time that I spend with friends. Staying busy has helped me get through high school becuse it helps me keep my mind off of the periods of isolation that I have gone through.
9th grade: Pushed or smacked two or three times a week when walking to class.
10th grade: Learned to walk down the hall with a sharpened pencil in my hand to threaten people who tried to assault me.
11th grade: I had a growth spurt there for became larger than my bullies. I also started having violent meltdowns.
12th grade: People left me alone out of fear I will flip out and beat them to death.
_________________
There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die -Hunter S. Thompson
I didn't have the best home life so school was easier than home is some ways. I skipped some subjects went in for others. I realise now I really need those hour or so breaks from the environment. Accidentally knocked a bully down a flight of stairs,
that meant I wasn't bullied much. I spent much of my time in a confused haze but I do remember to setting the goal of being able to socialise normally by the end of high school partly do to staying at home being utterly unthinkable, I was motivated. Went out a lot, tried to socialise a LOT. I stopped hanging out with the people I found it easy to hang out with, I was so bad I wasn't sure if they were friends. Started trying to hang out with others with more active social lives. That makes me feel like an ass now but I really needed to learn and I knew no other way.
In college I joined every society and club and went out every second night in the first year. slept most of the rest of the time.
After college I traveled, small hostels are cool. There were some NT guys in college I believe I passed in social skills.
Slow progress, baby steps but constant baby steps. Tortoise and the hare.
I'm not saying I dont have problems still but they are nuisances for the most part.
It's college that's terrible.
Weird, for me it's the total opposite.
Living at home, predictable schedule structure and a small learning environment with familiar people would seem to be an Aspie paradise
College brought with it major executive dysfunction thanks to (attempting to) live on my own for the first time
combined with sensory issues thanks to commuting downtown in a major city, huge lecture classes and extreme social isolation
I was a straight A student and MENSA member in high school, and as of now, I'm on academic suspension from the major university I attempted to attend afterward.
Have you considered a smaller campus (if one is available)? I went to a commuter satellite campus of a major university. I was able to live at home, the classes we a lot smaller (once you got past the freshman or general education classes (~15-30 people)), and the students were generally older who wanted to be there to learn (improving job prospects). The down side is that I didn't have the forced socialization of living in a group setting of people roughly my age.
Public school primarily introduces people to others with whom they would never otherwise willingly associate. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
I suppose people also learn 'academic' and 'home ec'-type things at school, and I did learn a few, but I also found much of it boring after the 5th grade or so (a lot of things basically being repeated over and over).
High school was where things really started to seem dull to me. I didn't associate much with anyone and no one associated much with me. I was in the computer club but it was about 10 people and we didn't do much. I was only really bullied in my sophomore year, and while it seemed horrible at the time, in hindsight nothing much really happened. I had simply never been in those sorts of situations before. Generally, I didn't react, and the bullies gave up, or took up torturing cats, or died in drunk driving accidents, or flew into the emptiest parts of space on reverse meteors.
The 'learning to socialize' aspect of public school is only useful if you plan to socialize a lot (endless party-goer, sex hound, politician, perhaps a high-level business manager). School does teach useful things, especially in the earlier years, and some schools do offer more specialized programs that work well if the student is interested in one of them.
If you had the desire and the time, you could easily homeschool and your child would learn all they need to know for a GED-type exam in much less time. They might not walk/talk/etc in a 'generic'/'conformist' type way but that isn't a bad thing, it's simply different.
Happy everything
I used to miss about half of the days per week in high school once the taunting started. (that definitely affected my grades BTW). I tried my best to ignore everyone and keep my head down to survive. Eventually people who used to be friendly (but I no longer considered them friends as they didn't help when I broke down) would have to call my name repeatedly and then tap me on the shoulder just to get me to answer them. This is also because somewhere along the way my name started being used as an insult so if I answered to my own name people would laugh like I'd made a joke. Once I asked "what's so funny?" and got back "you". I still cringe when I hear my full name said at once.
In my last year I was able to get on work study (in a quiet clerical capacity away from other people) so I only had to go to school half days. My first class was still extremely overwhelming though (the teacher was obsessed with those group projects and it was an academic class with rich, well dressed teens) so I inadvertently started self medicating and developed disordered eating. I would say in my last year I was basically invisible most of the time (which is what I wanted by that point).
I wanted to switch schools but due to a technicality I was only allowed in that district not the other one even though I physically lived closer to the better school.
I didn't drop out as I'd been one of the top students in grade school and couldn't fathom someone with intelligence being forced out of school by idiots.
I remember hearing a lot that school is supposed to teach you how to socialize and get along with other people. I actually have relatives that think home schooling is bad because then the kid doesn't get to socialize enough.
All school ever taught me about socializing is that people are mean and I need to stay away from them.
I wish I could have been home schooled.
All school ever taught me about socializing is that people are mean and I need to stay away from them.
I wish I could have been home schooled.
I'd have to pick public school myself, because imagining home schooling with my 'parents' (or whoever they are) is beyond what I want to try to imagine..
Personally, I discovered that people were far different than I thought they were. People will gladly sit by while someone is clearly being continually bullied, even teachers.. then the teachers somehow expect me to think of them as my friend..? Somehow I can't blame the students much, they're supposed to be imitating the adults, right? Or else they get suspended, etc. etc.
Considering my situation I suppose public schooling was the best way for me to learn .. stuff. Still, I wonder if having someone hold a blowtorch up to my head is particularly useful in the grand scheme of things
SO, in conclusion, depending on your parent(s)/teaching entities, homeschooling could quite possibly be far better than public schooling. And you can still socialize with other people, regardless.. there's no law against homeschoolers mixing with anyone else
Map12
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: 20 Dec 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 40
Location: Hiding in one of my hoodies(my own little world)
I went to a school for kids with behavior problems. The people there were very understanding. They even let me wear my hoodies in class which made things easier.
I dread to think what would have happen if I had gone to a regular school.
_________________
I have sensory issues. I only wear Hoodies.
I have Social Anxiety. So I always wear my hoodie with the hood up. The hood makes me feel safe like I'm in my own little world.
I own over 80 different hoodies.
I'm a girl
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