Home Education

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Has anyone here been home educated from birth?

I am a 27-year-old "pure homegrown" and went to an education establishment for the first time aged 14.
I was diagnosed as suffering from depression at approximately the same age and have struggled with my mental health and the world round me and the people in it for as far back in my life as I can remember.
Recently, in a counselling assessment introductory session, I very briefly touched on my suspicions that I have AS. The response from the person was basically "well of course you have a lack of social skills, you didn't go to school.". (WHY oh WHY do people think mass education is a good thing?! One size does not fit all!)
I do not think the acquisition of social skills or lack of is something that goes hand in hand with partaking in an oppressive educational system (I thought the whole idea of school was to become academically educated?!). But I was wondering what other people think?
I was by no means isolated as a child, despite not going to school, and attended various activities, mother's and toddlers groups, extra-curricular classes and regular education otherwise meetings. I had over 600 penpals all around the world by the time I was 13 and my best friend was our next-door neighbour who was in her 80s. However, in most situations I struggled dealing with other children (my mum said when we went to mother's a toddlers group I would "refuse to play with any of the toys excepting those you already had at home and would completely ignore all the other children". I would have been aged approx 1-2yrs.) and have always much preferred activities one does by oneself. As a child these were playing in the garden/woods alone, reading, arranging and collecting things, and writing endless stories; I always felt like I didn't fit in and very much felt an outcast. I guess I eventually have been hurt by so many rejections from people that I have almost made a misanthrope of myself. I always thought people my own age were boring and/or stupid and I always felt like I was much older than they.
The person's comment really cut deep and I have been thinking a lot. Basically, this person's opinion is that all my troubles stem from being home educated and the possible AS "is just in my mind". I wonder if AS would have been "picked up" in me as a child if I HAD been to school, or whether this person is right; the AS is "just in my mind" and not-going-to-school presents similar symptoms. Surely if it was just missing out in those early experiences I would not be struggling as I am now as an adult; surely I would have been able to "catch up" socially? Was it serendipity that my mum chose to home-educate me; as that way I was allowed time to pursue my interests and the life I was allowed to lead meant the AS wasn't noticeable to the wider world and I was just dismissed as "precocious hyperactive loud brat, incessantly asking "why?" and reading and singing all the time?"?
Did one aggravate the other?

I would be really interested to hear the thoughts of others, particularly those who are home-educating their own children (AS or NT), and ESPECIALLY anyone who has been home-educated (whether from birth, or just for a certain period in their life).
Sorry if this is a bit rambling, I am very confused right now.
Many thanks.

You have a lack of social skills because of your AS . Most typical home schoolers are very well adjusted socially .

I home educate my four children . They did go to school for the last two months of the year (we opted for this because of free testing) .My three other dc adjusted very well socially , from the first day,as well as academically - they had As only and school was a waste. My AS child did have a very hard time at school,with a lot of anxiety. School did not help him ,in fact he was worse socially .Always concerned about what others will say,about making fun of him,etc At least at home he was very well interacting with siblings,people at the stores,parks,etc.

So,no, I do not think home schooling have a negative influence on social skills. In fact,if anything, HS is beneficial to people in the ASD if the parents are dedicated .

ps-sorry for poor grammar,English is my third language

I would LOVE to know the curriculums that you used for school (elem &middle)
especially math,english,science,history...anything you can share will be greatly appreciated! You are so well spoken and educated

I hate that stereotype that all people who are home-schooled are going to lack social skills. These are not learned in school, but something naturally picked up by NT people. I work in an auditorium where there are plays, ballets, and symphony shows. Several times a year, there are shows reserved specifically for school. One section is always set aside for homeschoolers and their parents. There is absolutely no difference whatsoever in the way the general group of those kids interact from the regular school kids. Put the two side-by-side, and if the are both NT, you will see the same sort of social skills. Also, most kids who are homeschooled are not socially isolated. The ones I know of seem to be involved in many activities where there would be other children (in fact, many of these homeschooling families seem to know eachother, so I would gather that the children get together to interact as well). Sports, swimming, dancing, etc--these are all places where kids can interact. Much of the time spent in school anyway, beside a 15 and 30 minute break, is spent listening to the teacher speak.

I was homeschooled K-8 and went to public high school. I was homeschooled because doctors were already mentioning autism and my mom didn't want me in special ed. I was heavily involved in 4-H and church activities, so lack of socialization definitely wasn't the problem.
One thing I keep in mind when people blame homeschooling for my lack of social skills: My mom and my dad both went to public school throughout their education, and their social skills are not good. My dad's in particular are terrible. I would blame genetics in that case.
Even homeschoolers who are isolated enough for their social skills to be impacted can use their natural skills to catch up once they leave home. Remember to remind the therapist that there are other characteristics associated with ASD (sensory problems in particular are hard to dismiss).
I could write a lot more, but my toddler is distracting me. Oh and speaking of my daughter, we're doing the same thing that my mom did: homeschooling to avoid special ed. I wouldn't be surprised if it's a fairly common practice and perhaps that is skewing the public perception of homeschooling.

Great point! I too was in public school from grade primary to twelve. I also had two years of pre-school, and am currently going into my fourth year of university. I have been around MANY MANY students, and my social skills still suck!

I met a couple of homeschooled NTs in my young writer's group. They were all gifted and quite artistic, given the setting I met them in, but not one them had the troubles I have with social interaction. In fact the only particular area they struggled in more than the other students was writing kids in school - one of them mentioned that her stories always either took place during holidays or featured homeschooled kids. Apart from a bit of shyness in some, I was the only one with any social skill difficulties.

Hi guys,
Thank you all, I am very grateful for your responses.
I knew instinctively at the time that the person was either A) talking a crock of s**t, B) Knew nothing about home education and kids who are home educated, C) knew nothing about AS or D) any combination of the aforementioned plus a large dollop of misguided well-meaning.
However I needed clarification and the PoVs of others. Thank you all for your input!

I agree with the others. My cousin homeschools her daughters because she was a teacher and her local district is horrible. Her girls are very social, very outgoing and very well adjusted. They are involved in MORE extra curricular activities because they do not have "wasted" time at school. They learn by doing, not sitting and listening to a teacher all day.

My husband and I are both AS. He was in public school, and I was in Christian school. We were both miserable. We didn't have friends, we were teased, bullied, etc. Because of my AS and ADHD, I was labeled a "daydreamer" and my teachers didn't realize that I was gifted because I was not concerned about my grades. I did what I found interesting. Once I proved I knew something, I stopped doing the "busy work". My husband I are are both gifted in math and were both bored out of our minds in math and got into trouble for it.

So, now that we have an AS/HFA child, who is also gifted in math, we are choosing very carefully what to do for him for school. We started with a Montessori program at 22 months old (well before the diagnosis at . He thrived there until this school year, where he is now struggling to the point that we had to agree with the school that he would be better off elsewhere.

For now, I am homeschooling. I don't agree with the public school that we should try to mainstream him. So far, he has been relatively "protected" socially. The kids at Montessori have known him for years (some since they were toddlers) and they accept him the way he is. He also does Tae Kwon Do where respect is a major component. While he took almost 2 years to become social with some of those kids, he was NEVER teased. The parents watch the classes and get involved. For the most part, the parents are the type to not allow their kids to be bullies. So, while he is with "typical" peers, it is still in a controlled environment.

That is one of the great parts about home schooling. I can control some of the social interactions so that he is able to have positive outcomes. He has a friend from the Montessori school that he has known since he was 3 or 4. They are about 3 months apart, about the same size, and the friend has recently been diagnosed with AS also. My son is invited over to the friends house for a sleepover tomorrow night. He has been there a few times before. So, for an AS kid, he seems fairly NT with friendships since the kids around him are very comfortable and accepting of him. When he gets around other kids (like at a summer camp 1 1/2 years ago), he is not nearly as able to function. This was a regular summer camp, and they were not set up for special needs kids. He was mild enough that we thought he would be okay, but we forget sometimes how comfortable his normal social environment is. After a week, the camp called to ask us to come get him. He was simply unable to deal with his NT cabin mates. This was 4-5 kids with a teen counselor and an adult counselor. Incredible ratio, but still not successful. The other kids would joke around and he would take them seriously and they would react, and then he would start throwing things. Not a good environment at all.

Some might think that he won't learn how to interact with NT peers unless he has the opportunity. He does have an NT brother who is VERY social which helps. But, I would rather for now help him learn to interact successfully with children who are more accepting than have him teased by unsympathetic peers. There is time to learn how to deal with some of that later.