anyone else have problems with being patronized by medics?

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aqueduct58
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22 Sep 2009, 5:53 pm

I was having a problem lately and was wondering whether anyone else had ever had a similar experience.
I have had to make several visits to two different emergency rooms lately, and I had a problem with the way several of the doctors treated me because of my noticeable autistic traits.
Several of the doctors I had seen treated me in what I consider to be a patronizing way. This treatment varied. One of them was simply overly reassuring and was trying to hard to make me feel at ease, and others actually addressed me as "honey", and "sweetie". I was appaled, as these were all male doctors. I am a 27 year old woman with a high iq and I was concious to demonstrate this to them by the way I conversed with them and by asking intellegent questions.
And I was still treated like a juvenile or a mentally challenged person. I was outraged, and made to feel very uncomfortable. The sad thing is that I could tell that they were not trying to be rude, they genuinely thought that they were helping me to feel more comfortable.
My own primary doctor is good, she respects my intelligence and talks to me like any other person. I don't understand quite why I have been having problems with the ER variety. If anybody could give me insight into this, please do so. Also I am not sure whether to list autism when I am being asked for a list of my medical problems. Part of me thinks that it might help them understand my affects better, but I am not sure.



Maggiedoll
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22 Sep 2009, 6:30 pm

I think ER doctors and hospital doctors in general just don't have to listen or care as much. If your primary care doc is a jerk, you find another. If your shrink is nasty, you look elsewhere.. If you've gone to the ER, it's because it's an emergency and you can't shop around for a doctor. This is probably also part of the reason somebody becomes an ER and/or hospital doctor. They want to deal less with people and more with medical emergencies. They're not there to get to know you or talk to you, only to deal with the medical emergency. Their personality matters less than with a doctor you'd actually build any kind of relationship with.
(Although I did used to have psychiatrist who called me "pumpkin." He was kinda senile and more than a bit hard of hearing... :? )
Different fields of medicine attract different types of people. Your primary care doctor expects to see you over a long period of time and know something about you. The ER doc doesn't. "I hope I don't see you again" is a perfectly friendly thing for someone who works in the ER to say. :P



Callista
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22 Sep 2009, 7:58 pm

Some doctors treat everybody that way when they're sick, especially the motherly (fatherly?) types. They think it's reassuring. Maybe it is, to some patients, but they're missing that some of us would prefer to be in on the "let's deal with this illness" phase of things, not just be given a pat on the head and reassurances.


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cyberscan
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22 Sep 2009, 10:15 pm

Most of the time, they are very cautious around me and in one case, afraid of me. I am claustrophobic, so I tend to fight especially when being strapped down or put in an ambulance against my will. This has happened when I had a seizure at C.A.R.D. and again when I was involved in a traffic accident. They should know what they are dealing with, because I am required to wear a medical alert bracelet when driving, and the medical alert information is on file with the DMV.


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Last edited by cyberscan on 22 Sep 2009, 10:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

gramirez
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22 Sep 2009, 10:19 pm

Well I've never had a medical emergency, but my primary care doctor is a total jerk towards me. My mother thinks he's wonderful.


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Katie_WPG
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22 Sep 2009, 10:29 pm

I don't have personal experience, but when my sister went to the emergency room a few times, the staff were patronizing.

It was mainly because there was nothing obviously "wrong" with her (and to tell you the truth, most of the time, there wasn't anything wrong with her at all), so they treated her like a mental patient.

If there was nothing obviously wrong with you, and you were displaying autistic traits due to stress, they could have thought "Oh, here's another hypochondriac" and thought that if they calmed you down, you would just leave.



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23 Sep 2009, 6:41 am

I've only ever been to the Emergency Room once (to get stitches for a self-inflicted cut). Everyone there was really good (especially considering all the horror stories I've heard about how people with self-inflicted injuries are treated) and not patronising in the slightest.
My psychiatrist is occasionally patronising, but that's just psychiatrists. Most of the time he's not, and he's said that he thinks I'm intelligent and insightful.
My GP has never patronised me. I think this is because whenever I walk into his surgery, I tell him what I think is wrong with me, and I'm correct.


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saywhatyamean
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23 Sep 2009, 8:23 am

Patronising................. Doctors......................try the whole scenario with your children and then you will get patronising.

Yes I agree ER doctors and staff are a different breed. I think they almost have to be to be an asset there.