Feeling unsafe, vulnerable when being open?

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B3astM4n
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29 Nov 2011, 9:39 pm

Hi everyone. Had a question that's been on my mind since joining. I was wondering if others felt unsafe, vulnerable, but especially, worth less than others or weird when sharing about themselves and their difficulties even in a safe environment like WP? I've made some replies and one other thread of my own but after writing things about myself I've felt very, unsafe and scared of what people think about me and may not like me. I've hidden my problems since I was very young, because though my dad also takes meds, and my mum and sister are extremely supportive and caring with me, my family outside of them believe that mental health issues are myth, even though they all sef medicate. Recently too, I've had a few bad anxiety situations at work, and people I thought understood my anxiety (This is the one illness I am open about with others) have treated me very differently, and on the occasions I go out with acquaintances they always tend to be extremely distant the next time I see them, to the point of even being ostracizing to me. I don't have any real angry feelings towards these people. but I do feel distant and it's really kept me as a loner and choosing that so I don't have to deal with the looks, comments, underlying jokes, etc.

Was just wondering if others have dealt with this, if it passed, they've begun to not feel ashamed when posting stuff about themselves on WP, etc. Thanks very much for any comments :)



SammichEater
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29 Nov 2011, 9:41 pm

Yes, but no. It's really just about appearing to be much more macho than I actually am.


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B3astM4n
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29 Nov 2011, 9:53 pm

SammichEater wrote:
Yes, but no. It's really just about appearing to be much more macho than I actually am.


Could be the best answer this thread will ever see.



dianthus
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29 Nov 2011, 10:22 pm

Yes I feel vulnerable. I worry if people will reply to my posts or not and sometimes don't know which I prefer. I dread things like getting unsolicited advice or people trying to tell me how I feel. But I dread being ignored too.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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29 Nov 2011, 10:24 pm

Yes, I sometimes feel vulnerable, exposed, naked after sharing something personal at WP. Back when it was going on in April, I exposed some of about the bullying at crapola dept store, got one quick, drive-by response, and that was it. And that's a shame. Yes, it did hurt. And yes, I know people are busy and some threads catch life and catch fire for whatever reason and some don't.

With people, there might be like an emotional hangover after sharing a lot. And/or it might be 'regression to the mean.' After a good conversation, the odds might be that the next one is simply more average.

And people might say they're open to people who are different, unique, creative, etc. But they may not be as open as they think they are!



SylviaLynn
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29 Nov 2011, 10:36 pm

Yes, of course I feel like that. I think it's a common condition of humanity. AS type folks might not be as good at hiding it. IMHO, this is not a bad thing. I really wish there was a "like" button or something like that just to let people know I did read their post, and I do care but don't have anything to contribute at the moment. It's hard now to talk irl or to post here even, mostly because I've been going through a major depression in the last couple of years and really isolated myself. Time to come out of it and take a risk even if my memory isn't for crap and I'm a bit afraid people will think I'm stupid or something. Look, some people are going to be jerks at times. Try not to take it personally. Most folks here are supportive.


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RW665
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29 Nov 2011, 10:37 pm

I don't discuss personal problems very often with anyone. I usually keep everything to myself because I do feel vulnerable. If I dosoeak with someone, it's with one of my two close friends. But I've been getting more comfortable on here as well.


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dianthus
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29 Nov 2011, 10:47 pm

I have a lot of hesistations about posting online. The thing is those words stay there. It's not like when you are talking, you say something and the words you have said eventually pass away and are forgotten. When there's a written record people can keep dragging up old things you have said before. Or they can try to keep a conversation going long past the point you are interested. If you are talking to someone in person you can turn away or walk away from someone to signal you are done talking. But online it is hard to tell when people walk away from the conversation. I've had some really bad experiences on the internet. I ask myself why I keep doing it but partly, you can guess, it's because I don't have a lot of people to talk to in person, especially not about the things I would talk about here.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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30 Nov 2011, 2:46 pm

SylviaLynn, good for you and welcome back to the world! :thumleft: Okay, so your memory's sometimes not for crap. So be it. And I for one won't hold it against you.