Getting the "What do YOU think??" response from so

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This has bothered me as I'm sure it has with other Aspies, but every so often when I pose a clarifying question to what someone has told me (generic example: "So what you're (also) saying is that when X happens, you also have to be concerned with Y?") they will respond with "What do YOU think??" I know enough from the tone that it's basically saying "isn't it obvious?? duh..." that basically I'm asking a silly question. (Incidentally, I think every time I got this it was from NT women.)

Well, if I can't intuitively read between the lines to discern the unspoken nuance, I have to rely on clarification if I suspect there may be a nuance (based on tone and expression, which I've learned enough to read). So at least I'm partially there. That's what upsets me, it has to be "all or nothing" on their terms, and they have the audacity to say Aspies think in black and white!!

So, in good faith, I will respond with "Well, I believe it is 'Y', because of conditions A and B, which lead to condition C, and that means Y would be a concern. Am I right??" The rejoinder will typically be a chuckle and comment like "you know, you really shouldn't over-analyze things so much, just go with the obvious." As for whether I got a yes or no to whether my interpretation was correct, strangely enough, it's divided about 50/50 in my experience. I know, you would have thought that "What do YOU think?" means "you're wrong" more often, but no, that's not how it turned out.

Is this a no-win situation, where one is basically insulting the other person for not communicating clearly enough? Or are they just being too sensitive about it? (if any NTs read this post as well as fellow Aspies, would be interested to hear your opinion!)

The only thing that really offends me is a bad attitude, and that's what I see you describing. I would think this is somebody I want to avoid in the future.

"What do I think? I think you are an idiot who is too stupid to realize that either way it could be true and therefor confirmation is needed. " Not that I would ever say that.

"Well do YOU THINK I'd be asking you this question if I knew the answer?"

"I think you are being very rude when I'm simply trying to make sure I understand you correctly"

"That that lady over there has a purse just like yours"

"If I was sure of the answer I wouldn't have asked for clarification"

"Well to be honest, what I think is that you could be a little clearer with your explinations"

Frances

This sucks for two reasons: First, it's insulting and condescending. Second, if I knew, I wouldn't have asked.

Usually when others say that phrase it's when they're already pissed off and having a bad day.

Them: "What do YOU think?"

Me: "Could you please just give me a simple yes or no answer?"

When they say that, it's sarcasm and it means, "yes."
EDIT: Or perhaps it means, "no."
I just confused myself...

I don't know why another person would be personally insulted just because someone asked them a clarifying question (frustrated, I could understand)...

I sometimes wonder if people give the sort of response you're talking about because being asked for clarification has shaken their expectations of the world around them (i.e. they want you to understand them almost instantaneously, and you don't; they want what they say to be understandable without needing to explain it, and that doesn't happen)....or maybe they're doing the NT thing of reading something into your question, and imagining that it's a comment of some kind.

People have said this to me so many times and I always thought they were asking for what I think so I would tell them or say "I don't know, that's why I am asking?" I wonder what they thought?

I still remember when I had this one roommate who I would describe as psychotic given her pattern of behaviour - I figured out it wasn't just me. She would regularly use the "What do YOU think??" line when I made a clarifying follow-up question, but it wouldn't end there; I would give my explanation of why I thought what I did, then she would blankly say "uh-huh...ok...what else?" and do that a couple more times, then just flippantly say "ok, I think that's all for now." Without telling me whether I was accurate or not. Obviously, this was just deranged passive-aggressive behaviour.

BTW, she also tried to prevent me from leaving, undermining my efforts to get someone else in to take over the lease...so that proves that it wasn't anything I did to really upset her, or she would have encouraged my leaving. I guess she just didn't want to see her "punching bag" go.