The Vividness of Memory

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I read a post a while ago on Journeys with Autism called "The Vividness of Memory" that really resonated with me. Like Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg, I experience memory in a similar fashion. I can remember every detail of past events, including really minor everyday occurrences, from as far back as I can remember, such as every facial expression, gesture, intonation, exact words that were spoken, the surroundings, the weather, scents, clothes, hair, makeup, to name a few. Looking at a childhood photograph or the best friends necklace a friend gave me in the first grade can trigger such a powerful sensory and emotional reaction in me, that I'll break down in a flood of happy tears, not just thinking about all the great times in childhood we had together, but I actually go there in my mind. It's as if I walk through into a completely-realistic-in-every-way parallel world where nothing's changed. I've also wondered if this is why I've taken so much about time for granted. Does anyone else here experience this kind extreme, intense recall?

http://www.journeyswithautism.com/page/3/

yes. it's been a "double edged sword" as they say, for me. If it becomes too intense I hear people can almost lose track of whether the recollection is memory or reality. I've only gone thta far a few times though I would say.

I have that kind of exact duplicate experience occasionally and it's supremely overwhelming, it seems like it would be completely exhausting to relive every memory live that. I had to leave an event recently cause I was crying after one of these. It wasn't a sad or bad one but in context every memory takes on the weight of the entire rest of your experiences.

This is very interesting that every memory is like that for you... really time is different for you because you are conscious of accessing certain moments that most people would put once each on a linear timeline, in a nonlinear way. And it's just as real as the more common linear conception of time. Which fits the definition of time travel. So time travel is just basically returning to the same neuronal circuit(s) repeatedly. This is really amazing.

And deja vu too.

I was thinking about this earlier too. For me there are triggers, they can be anything like hearing or seeing something on TV, looking at a tree or a cloud, etc.. As soon as the event happens it triggers a very vivid memory. I can hear, smell, and see everything, feel the presence of wind and temperature, and even feel what I was feeling at that moment. I'm perfectly aware of where I am at the time of it, it's almost like being two places at the same time. The memories are usually of childhood and are like a a snapshot of a random moment. Some are from before I was 2, while laying in a crib. After my 'flashback' I never forget it and can recall it normally.

I can have very intense recollections, to the point that I forget the recollection isn't reality.

The intensity of my memories have faded over the past few years - starting around the same time I think my fibromyalgia started, but older memories retain their vividness, and I still seem to have a better than average recollection and even recent memories can be fairly vivid.

i have a lot of dejavu. I actually don't really like the experience of dejavu when I have it usually. How about you?

Also, I had a dream the other night about dejavu whcih kind of worried me. In the dream I was transported back to college, etc. but when I was I was carrying a lot of information from present time (which would be future then) which made it very difficult and damaging for me to be relive those years again successfully. Like all the "accurate" information I was carrrying with me from the future that others didn't have about the people I knew and events to happen were just making the environment very sad and often boring for me as well and I was having difficulty trying. But then upon waking I think I spun the dream into a negative light such that I experimented with the thought that what if when ew live, we are meant to do something with our capabilities, etc, like a "mission". And if we "fail" that mission we have to live it again and again, until we succeed. Kind of like you a video game is programmed or something. But the reliving it again and again increases your skill level but also makes experiencing it over even more sad and difficult to go through (so it kind of increases the odds if you get my drift). I dunno, I didn't have that "thought" until conscious waking, and it sort of made me sad. Like all this weight is put on you but you are so overwhelmed by the experience of literally experiencing it again. And you know what's going to happen next, you know who is who and their inner motivations (in your dream), and all of this and despite having so much power in that scenario to change things/to benefit.... all it can do is make it all very sad and depressing for you and keeps your own motivation down. And it's like, well, don't you care enough about these people to use all this knowledge despite and on and on...which makes you feel more at fault......and anyway it's sort of like this recurring dream I have about travelling back and having the ability to change things but then when I get there I can't move. I can't go through the 80's again born into my same circumstances with all the knowledge of the popel in the area, despite knowing all the different ways to benefit from the accurate sporadic knowledge of the future that I am being infiltrated by. It's like, I can't know this and go through this again. And I wake up and sometimes with that dream I do feel a little sad and overwhelmed. S.t at some point the pain and torture of "knowing" takes away any fun or benefit associate. Like you are past the point of even benefiting yourself from knowing. Anyway, it's a simlar feeling I get when I have dejavu. But yea, it is interesting to hear from other people who have had similar experiences although obviously we all think differently .

I too have very vivid memories where I have the physical sensations of being back in that time though I have never gotten a past memory confused with the present day. I can remember things that happened many years ago as if they just happened recently. My family is very critical of this and have even accused me of making things up or worse...imagining unpleasant things that happened in our family years ago because they simply do not remember. At times I've wondered if they do remember and are trying to convince me that I am insane or if they have just discarded the bad memories from their awareness. It's interesting to me how people can put unpleasant memories out of their minds as if they never happened. Sometimes I am quite jealous that people can do this because at times I have such painful memories that I wish I could just erase. It's not all bad though because I have many happy and funny memories as well.

ADHD robs me of this but I do remember details people would often forget. My memory is usually in the form of voices or photographs, sometimes moving.

I have synaesthesia though so smells, tastes and certain objects can trigger a memory. I can pick up an old book and see myself buying it and reading it for the first time. When I smell it I can see myself reading it and what my reactions was like in certain parts. I actually once had such a vivid memory for a type of samosa I was eating stuff with spinach and I just saw it right there in front of my face with my eyes open and it was ripped open and all the spinach was spilling out, and I smelt soy sauce.
That was probably more of a synaesthesia thing though.

Does anyone hear a song and hear a voice that is usually a memory from sometime interrupting you while you listened to that song years before? That happens to me. I can smell soy sauce again.

Interesting. My memory is pretty much the opposite. For me pretty much everything disappears into the mist after a few years unless it is a particularly traumatic/exciting. I only have a few snapshot memories of my childhood/teenage years.

I have this to an extent. Apparently, the fetal brain compensates for certain injuries to a lobe by assigning some of the tasks to the opposite side. This causes cross-laterality, and one wonderful result is the cross-laterized memory.

I am 8 months old in my first memory, and some of my early childhood memories are extremely vivid. However, audio memory is not nearly as sharp as visual memory. Ergo, I remember the gist of what you said 7 years ago, but I can picture you saying really vividly.

I have a very vivid memory as well. I can remember things sometimes verbatim of how they happened. This in especially true if it is a memory of something auditory. I to can bring back exact moments in my life by looking at a photo or listening to a certain song. I have songs in my iPod that I will literally play a slideshow of a certain event or time in my life to.

I can find a lot of poignant emotion in recollections of past events, from a few months ago to many years ago.

I wish I could feel similar emotions when things actually happen, but I need to seem them at a distance, in the bigger context of life.

In the moment, I'm usually emotionally disconnected.

Got a sort of haywire version. Can remember making a cup of coffee last night down to possibly counting the actual number of granules i can see, can hear the kettle, feel the metal of the spoon but in this case i smell peaches not the coffee, dish soap and vanilla I was smelling at the time.

Almost perfect recall but some details get mixed up (rarely visual or touch but often sounds, smells and tastes) but this clarity only lasts a few day/weeks unless its a traumatic (sometimes rarely happy) event then its seared in there for good. Good way to annoy people when they say 'I said x not y last week' is to recount what they said exactly , what they were wearing etc (not that i usually noticed at the time (unless it was particularly noticeably female (easier to remember details, less easy to remember words including mine at the time sometimes))).

3 brackets, definitely getting in need of sleep

I do have a very vivid memory - people have sometimes been amazed by it, and I remember things occuring in the past that other's don't, and in great detail. And yes, my memories are sometimes triggered by various things, too.

Same here. It doesn't help that most of my teenage years were pretty boring - I rarely did anything new. And the farther back I go the more I wonder how much of those snapshots are actual memory and how much are reconstructions based on what I've heard.