Unable To Help People Emotionally

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If my friend says something about his grandmother dying (just an example), I can't comfort him because I have nothing to say... Does anyone else have this problem?

I do sometimes, but usually it's when I am going through a lot of anxiety and my emotions are being muted by it. I still fake it and ask them about the problem though as most people just need to talk when things are going badly.

I am no good with emotional support either. However, I can say "Sorry for your loss" "I'm sorry." All learned behavior. You can say these two things. Also "I hope you feel better soon."

I dont know what to say when people are making easier conversations about things like tv or sport so when people mention emotions or are having a bad time I have absolutely no idea what to say.

I have heard though that NTs also find it difficult to know what to say in sad situations such as someone dying or getting divorced or losing their job etc.

I think I read somewhere that it is not good to talk about your past experiences of relatives dying or friends losing jobs and how it all worked out ok in the end, it is best to let the person talk about what they are experiencing and let them know they can talk to you about their feelings and you wont call them silly.

Most people dont expect you to come up with a solution they just need to tell someone how they are feeling. There is a saying that a problem shared is a problem halved.

this is a guide to help those that are grieving

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/helping_grieving.htm

This happened the other day. A so called "friend" (although I'm not sure what our relationship is anymore, guess she's just another acquaintance) posted a picture of her grandmother and posted "R.I.P Nan - You're with the Angels now. Love you xx"

I posted on it "I don't know what to say in situations like this, except I'm really sorry for your loss. I'm here if you want to talk."

No-one else even replied. Why did I even bother? She didn't even reply either, or even just acknowledge the comment by "liking" it. That girl always ignores me these days and seems to shrug me off and make me feel like she doesn't want to talk to me.

I haven't since bothered commenting on any of her status', moaning that she has to go to a Job Centre meeting on her birthday and stuff. She's not even doing anything for her birthday! Why does it matter?!

I don't know what to do or what to say when people lose someone to death, but I don't see anything wrong with what I wrote. I thought it was pretty standard.

I am "emotionally ret*d" (at least according to everyone around me) and in situations such as this, I would only offend, not comfort, therfore I can't really do anything. If I say anything, I get accused of being disingenuous, so it's just better not to say anything at all.

I can relate to this, I'm not all that good at expressing my emotions at the best of times never mind in a forced situation like this. Since there's nothing I can do about it all I can really say is things like sorry for your lose, I'm sorry to hear that, hope you and your family are holding up OK. Feels like generic responses, but there's not much else I can say.

That exact thing happened to me the other day. My friend told me his grandmother was dying, and I really couldn't offer anything besides "sorry to hear that".

Exactly! Whenever I try to offer emotional support, it comes out as either awkward or offensive! This is most clear in my interactions with my little sister. When I try to comfort her, she usually ends up either glaring at me or crying...

Actually I find I am good at doing all the sympathetic part, and imagining how they feel and everything, but I just never know what advice to offer.

I really have to prime myself to get properly empathic. Unfortunately, this usually occurs several hours after it is socially required. I can get the thoughts through in poems and will submit them as emotional recompense. Those who accept me accept this form of relating, and caring; others just think, well, who knows really, it doesn't matter.