Go with the flow or stand out

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I know the one of the debates for Aseprgers (aspies) is wheter to be like everyone else or be different so I wanted to see what people thought was more popular.

I voted Stand out/be different because that's my default mode but I find that it depends on the situation. Sometimes it's better to just blend in.

I'm stumped on this poll. There are times when I would like to fit in, other times I wouldn't want to fit in. I wouldn't select 'don't care'. Maybe add 'fit in based on the circumstances'?

I am both. I either go with the flow or be myself or withdraw.

you can try and blend in, but that doesn't mean you are going to blend in...

I must agree with League Girl and Rascal. It's not so much that I try to stand out, it's that I just do my own thing, and I end up standing out. And I can live with that. Many of my relatives who are not autistic, also stand out among society as loners, eccentrics, or even weirdos. So what?

When relating to my autism specifically, for this thread, I would say that the answer is still not that easily answered according to the options provided in this poll. I want to 'go with the flow' in terms of social interactions in general. I just wish to function along with my fellow people so that my social interaction runs smoothly. But I also choose to stand out with regard to my quirks, those with which I've lived all my life and aren't a hindrance to my functioning.

So, in short, I will 'go with the flow' of normalcy when I personally find certain aspects of my autism to be debilitating, and I will 'stand out' when it concerns aspects of my autism that are not a hindrance.

I don't want to stand out or blend in, I just want to be who I am and not care about whether I stand out or blend in.

Lately, I want to be me and want others to see my weirdness. I would rather be accepted for who I am than wear a mask anymore.

I answered don't care. But I DO care, it's just that either answer has its pros and cons. I would rather be myself. But that would make me stand out, and part of who I am is that I do not like attention focused on me, so I'd rather fit in, as in blend into the background, which I suppose isn't really fitting in, and I'd also rather be given appreciation when I contribute something, but without any spotlight. To fit in I have to not be myself.

What I feel best with seems to be impossible.

I guess it's a mix for me, so I voted "don't care". I will try to not go out of the house to be with others without shaving or taking a shower, and usually try to wear clothes without stains or holes in them in social situations. However, if I am just going out by myself to the hardware store or junkyard, I really don't care what I wear so long as it fits and doesn't expose anything that could get me into legal trouble. As far as social situations go, I try to be friendly and nice but I never quite fit in. It's easier for me with people I know well as I know how to act around them but even there I am usually considered to be a bit odd. My choice of verbiage sometimes has people saying WTF? as their vocabularies are far more limited than mine. I use large words some times just because they are easier than trying to find smaller words that take more time to speak. Unfortunately, most other people in the hospitality industry lack the intellectual curiosity to have encountered them before and so I come off sounding like a know it all, even when trying not to. Now that I have meandered about this question a bit, I guess the best answer is that I don't care because life has simply taught me to (mostly) be myself and not care what others think all of the time.

Honestly it doesn't matter what I want. Other people always seem to be able to notice that I am different. They cut me out of the herd and I hate it.

I have a problem where sometimes I'll pick something to be different, even though it's not what I really wanted. For example, in band class, I ended up with tuba because the band teacher complained that kids rarely pick tuba. Then I discovered that I hated the tuba, but it was too late, I was stuck with it.

(And then I lost the mouthpiece because my school didn't give me a case for the tuba, and they refused to replace the mouthpiece, so I was left with an unplayable tuba until I left that school.)

I have tried to pass as an NT in the past, but "normies" still thought I was strange/geeky. It was a constant, conscious effort to seem neurotypical and I eventually gave up on it. Of course, there will be situations where I will have to act as normal as I can, but for the most part I do not even care anymore.

I put "be different," but I don't care about being any which way. I am me and I do my own thing and that ends up different in the eyes of everyone else.

I don't even understand what "everyone else" is like. I don't "get" normal.

I selected "don't care either way"

I'm like Rascal77s - some situations I want to fit in, some situations I want to be different/stand out, some situations I don't care.

But in general I don't care either way.

Take music for instance - I prefer to stand out; do things differently. For example, my piano finger technique sometimes follows traditional technique - then other times I play with very flat fingers and other times I play with very arched/curled fingers - and sometimes people remark on my technique like by saying "you use improper technique" (same thing gets said when I play upright bass sometimes). But it's about what you are playing, not how you are playing it. Technique is more for people who can't figure it out on their own - or just people new to an instrument, in my opinion. It's useful, but if you cling to "proper technique" you will never advance as a musician, in my opinion - there are many times where you must create techniques to be able to play something.

Yet people seem to be very adamant about using "proper technique" - and it makes no sense. I don't see how it matters, if you're achieving the sound you want... but they go off on it over and over.