Upset if social error is pointed out, don't care if intellec

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Joe90
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07 Aug 2012, 2:18 pm

.....intellectual mistake is pointed out.
When I do a social error, whether I'm aware of it or not, and somebody overreacts, I usually get upset and feel patronised or embarrassed, and cry or get angry with myself. But when, say, if I get a simple sum wrong and somebody facepalms because they're like ''even a 5-year-old could work that out!'', I really don't care. I just laugh at myself and go, ''gosh, I'm so dumb!''

It seems I'm not that ashamed of being bad at maths or bad at reading or bad at fixing a virus on a computer or bad at other logical things, but when it comes to being bad at social skills, I get really ashamed. Sometimes I do wish I was more able to work out logical problems like other Aspies, but it doesn't bother me that I can't, and I don't get jealous of others who can. But I get horribly jealous of those who are good at anything to do with social interaction or relationships or anything remotely to do with the social side of life. Is anyone else like this? Is this weird (for an Aspie)?


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07 Aug 2012, 2:29 pm

No, I don't think it is weird at all. But it would be something we would have to work on anyway. :D



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07 Aug 2012, 2:37 pm

That's because you're not a jealous type of person;however just trying to fit in type of guy



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07 Aug 2012, 2:39 pm

I would be very upset and ashamed by both of those. But then, I'm not upset about, say, being clumsy and uncoordinated, knocking something over in the grocery store like I did today. It's just not something I care about (I just laughed and picked it up again).



outofplace
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07 Aug 2012, 3:42 pm

I can get upset at both, actually. I am a perfectionist and hate to do anything wrong. I have gotten better about it as I have gotten older but mistakes of any kind still bother me.


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DrPenguin
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07 Aug 2012, 3:53 pm

Because it's an area in which you care a lot about and feel inadequate to other people in. So when they point out a mistake it feels like there rubbing your nose in it even when there not.


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TommyTomorrow
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07 Aug 2012, 4:03 pm

I'm in the same boat.
I'll cop to a failure in my logic, facts, job performance all day long without feeling worse than mild irritation.
If I say something... full of social fail, I get embarrassed and then mad when it's pointed out.



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07 Aug 2012, 4:48 pm

When I was younger, I used to get really upset and embarressed but now not as much. For me, I will get upset depending on how the social mistake is pointed out. If its pointed out in a "scolding a child-like way", I will get upset. More so because its rather demeaning.

Of course I used to get upset for people pointing out academic mistakes too. I dont mind as much if its a math/science/tech related error. But when I was younger, I used to get so upset for English/writing errors. I always got so nervous whenever someone checked my essays. But overtime I learned to suck it up, hold my breathe and hold it in. I still perfer to walk out of the room when someones looking at my essays.



fishman
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07 Aug 2012, 11:03 pm

I hear you. It's hard not to feel upset and patronized when others point out your social mistakes. At least these moments can be used as learning experiences to help you avoid making the same mistakes in the future.



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08 Aug 2012, 12:08 am

I guess it's because the reason you are labeled as disabled is because of the social flaws, and you don't like being labeled as disabled, or something like that that is a bit more subconscious.


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Mdyar
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08 Aug 2012, 12:40 am

Joe90 wrote:
.....intellectual mistake is pointed out.
When I do a social error, whether I'm aware of it or not, and somebody overreacts, I usually get upset and feel patronised or embarrassed, and cry or get angry with myself. But when, say, if I get a simple sum wrong and somebody facepalms because they're like ''even a 5-year-old could work that out!'', I really don't care. I just laugh at myself and go, ''gosh, I'm so dumb!''

It seems I'm not that ashamed of being bad at maths or bad at reading or bad at fixing a virus on a computer or bad at other logical things, but when it comes to being bad at social skills, I get really ashamed. Sometimes I do wish I was more able to work out logical problems like other Aspies, but it doesn't bother me that I can't, and I don't get jealous of others who can. But I get horribly jealous of those who are good at anything to do with social interaction or relationships or anything remotely to do with the social side of life. Is anyone else like this? Is this weird (for an Aspie)?



Naa. My guess is if everyone had trouble with a certain something, such as "socializing," then no one would feel out of place. But it could be empathy playing on you, because they are visibly upset vs simply annoyed as in academic stuff, etc.

But myself, I don't cut the line with some type of mistake; but all mistakes are in the same boat --very annoying.



Joe90
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08 Aug 2012, 9:55 am

I also don't care if my physical disorder is pointed out either (ears and sinuses issues). If I have stuff leaking out of my ear, I don't get upset and wish I didn't have this trouble, I just go and get a tissue or cotton bud to clear it up. Or if my nose is bleeding, I don't get embarrassed, even if I'm out in public. In fact, I get sympathy out of people when this happens, like they offer me a tissue or ask if I'm all right, and I just say things like, ''yeah, I would be worried if this didn't happen to me!''

I suppose people are more tolerant of physical disorders (even if they appear disgusting), and people even seem tolerant of people with low IQ. I knew a lot of kids at school who had learning difficulties and were intellectually behind, and they never got picked on for it.


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