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SteelMaiden
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12 Aug 2012, 12:18 pm

Is rambling and not knowing how to stop talking in a conversation an Asperger's trait?

NB: I hate small talk, if a conversation is centred around small talk, I stay very quiet.

Also I don't talk to people I don't know unless I have someone I do know with me.


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outofplace
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12 Aug 2012, 12:22 pm

Yup. It sure is. It's one of the main traits I have and one of the things that makes me believe I have Asperger's. Also included would be tangential speech (you go off on multiple different directions), data dumping, and excessively self-referential speech.


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Roman
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12 Aug 2012, 12:25 pm

I don't know how to do small talk either. In order for me to talk, there has to be a "subject" to "discuss". And then the "discussion" of that subject needs to cover all sides (after all, covering side 1 without covering side 2 would "misrepresent" things). And my attempt to cover all sides and their logical connections is what leads to rambling. So in reality I don't ramble as in "talking about random things"; but its more like the "logic" forces me to mention all these connections to the one topic that I was discussing.



Rattus
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12 Aug 2012, 12:28 pm

Yes and I've also got a horrible habit of once I finish all the information I need to say but I need to continue speaking I start over.



Roman
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12 Aug 2012, 12:42 pm

Rattus wrote:
Yes and I've also got a horrible habit of once I finish all the information I need to say but I need to continue speaking I start over.


In my case, once I actually finish the info, I don't feel a need to say anything more. But the problem is that the amount of info "to be finished" is usually very long. Thus, people interrupt in the middle attempting to change the subject, in which case I "postpone" responding to what they said until I am finished. Then they simply decide I am not listening and go away.

On the other hand, if I am allowed to finish then I would then expect a response. Usually people just say one sentence to be polite and change the subject or, more likely, stop talking. This is usually very upsetting since makes me feel ignored.



SteelMaiden
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12 Aug 2012, 1:19 pm

outofplace wrote:
Also included would be tangential speech (you go off on multiple different directions), data dumping, and excessively self-referential speech.


Wow, I can seriously relate to that.

-----

I ramble about a certain topic (the topic depends on what state my head is in), but when I ramble, I will cover all areas. I will incessantly ask never-ending lists of questions. Other times I will just ramble about a topic, and then go off on tangents, and ramble about those.

I also take great pleasure out of reciting train routes.


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12 Aug 2012, 1:30 pm

SteelMaiden wrote:
outofplace wrote:
Also included would be tangential speech (you go off on multiple different directions), data dumping, and excessively self-referential speech.


Wow, I can seriously relate to that.

-----

I ramble about a certain topic (the topic depends on what state my head is in), but when I ramble, I will cover all areas. I will incessantly ask never-ending lists of questions. Other times I will just ramble about a topic, and then go off on tangents, and ramble about those.

I also take great pleasure out of reciting train routes.


Wow, I do very similar things - within my own areas of interest, of course. I mean, anything that is within my areas of interests, I am prepared to give an entire ramble on. For example, if someone mentions a book I'm aware of, I jump to list the major themes, points of interest about it, history of the work, popularity, info on the author, etc. Or, for another example, if someone mentions a song (one that's from one my favorite genres) I can easily explain the album it came from (along with year), recording anecdotes, information on the composer/artist, etc. It's like this for everything I'm interested in.

I have just kind of learned that I need to control this, even though it is natural for me and I dislike holding back all of this information. In some ways, I feel that it's absurd that people wouldn't want to learn about things - though it's been necessary for me to learn that this isn't the case much of the time.



SteelMaiden
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12 Aug 2012, 2:33 pm

I think it is absurd too that people wouldn't want to learn things.

If someone mentions a drug, especially a psychiatric drug, I will output all information I know about that drug. Many times I have given monologues to people about antipsychotics, antihistamines etc. Recently a friend texted me to say she had been given promethazine (she's in hospital) and I sent her six texts worth of information. She was thankful but she said it was a lot of information :/

Also if anyone asks me about Asperger's, I will do monologues on that.

Or anything scientific within my knowledge (although my knowledge specialises in pharmacology, medicine and law/forensics).


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Rattus
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12 Aug 2012, 2:41 pm

Roman wrote:
Rattus wrote:
Yes and I've also got a horrible habit of once I finish all the information I need to say but I need to continue speaking I start over.


In my case, once I actually finish the info, I don't feel a need to say anything more. But the problem is that the amount of info "to be finished" is usually very long. Thus, people interrupt in the middle attempting to change the subject, in which case I "postpone" responding to what they said until I am finished. Then they simply decide I am not listening and go away.

On the other hand, if I am allowed to finish then I would then expect a response. Usually people just say one sentence to be polite and change the subject or, more likely, stop talking. This is usually very upsetting since makes me feel ignored.


I do that as well, the stuck record thing is normally when I've said something very short. Most of the time I just regurgitate everything I've read on that subject and like you it goes on for an incredibly long time at which point I get to the end and stop. That is if I am allowed to, my parents sometimes tell me to stop.
The problem is people do not always respond well to me monologuing but I don't realise they are bored until I stop because I am fairly monochannel and cannot take in anything whilst I am talking.



outofplace
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12 Aug 2012, 4:10 pm

SteelMaiden wrote:

Also if anyone asks me about Asperger's, I will do monologues on that.
.


I can so relate to this! I have been obsessing over it for almost 3 months now and probably know more about it than some psychologists do! I have gone off on 20 minute monologues about it and bored several people to tears. I mentioned a tee shirt someone posted on here to a friend of mine last night. It said" Aske me and I'll tell you more than you ever wanted to know about Asperger's Syndrome". He said I should definitely get it (and he's an aspie too!) :lol:


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Nerdyimperator
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12 Aug 2012, 4:11 pm

Yes, I'm a world class rambler



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12 Aug 2012, 4:30 pm

SteelMaiden wrote:
outofplace wrote:
Also included would be tangential speech (you go off on multiple different directions), data dumping, and excessively self-referential speech.


Wow, I can seriously relate to that.

Me too. I also ramble a lot. In fact, many of my long-winded posts here on WP end with an apology for rambling. :)



alecazam3567
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12 Aug 2012, 5:22 pm

Yes it is, and I definitely display it.



Titangeek
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12 Aug 2012, 9:20 pm

I ramble. A lot.


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12 Aug 2012, 9:30 pm

I have to consciously try not to be self referential, (Which I did not know was an aspie thing until now, but it makes sense, especially with my aspie dad, it’s all he can do) it's not that I'm a narcissist, it's just how I relate. And I'm a narcissist. Or maybe not, it sounds terrible. I really don't want to be one. And I ramble....and go off on tangents..... I really do socially suck lol. See, this post was all about me :\



Roman
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13 Aug 2012, 12:27 am

Rattus wrote:
The problem is people do not always respond well to me monologuing but I don't realise they are bored until I stop because I am fairly monochannel and cannot take in anything whilst I am talking.


I usually sense that they are bored, but then the dilemma arises: if I were to stop, then the detailed explanation of part 1, combined with completely missing part 2 would lead to distorted picture. So then I feel forced to PRETEND as if I havent noticed that they are bored in order to "deliver" part 2. But since at the bottom of my heart I know they are bored, I resort to simply speaking REALLY fast so that I can finish within the next 2 minutes AND say everything I want to say. Speaking fast, however, usually makes things worse, since people interpret it as my not letting them participate.