Do i have aspergers, or am I just weird.

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Let me start by saying that for years i've always thought i was an NT. I have a brother who has high functioning Autism, and i've always felt that I was fairly social and normal, I just struggled more than others.

However, ever since i've turned 15, I've wondered if I'm autistic or (no offense to those with AS) some Aspie wierdo. Here are some things that make me wonder if I am. Ever since I was about 11 or 12, i've done things like write down sports scores and lists of sports teams and what leagues they are in, and of course I throw them away because its a time waster, but I do it again, and for some reason i find it interesting.

I also am wierd in that while I like regular movies and love going to movies in theatres with people, i watch documentaries on my netflix, especially Ken Burns and PBS type stuff. I love history and geography, and do plan to teach it (i'll get to my job struggles later) however I find it odd since no one else really watches those. I also don't read a lot of fiction (though I mostly read the newspaper, and do love some fiction books like the hobbit, and catcher in the rye) I do things like read encyclopedias (though not as much as when I was young like age 6 to about 12) . I also like geography and do wierd things like write down lists of cities and their populations in certain decades, but once again I try not to because I find it weird.

also, I don't struggle as socially as most aspies, but it is hard. In high school I went to a small Catholic high school. While I loved doing things like Drama and football, and speech, I also was kind of an outsider. A lot of popular kids didn't like me. First it was because I didn't drink or do drugs and was vocal about it (I even called kids dumb drunks and crap like that) but of course I was also made fun of and called fag and fudgepacker and got so mad I threatened a kid. So of course high school sucked.
College was better. I made more friends and actually started to have more of a social life rather than video games and just hanging with my family (since I didn't really go out much other than school events). However, I only had a few close friends, and for some reason I always felt like i never quite fit in even when I was a part of a group. Anyway, being back home has been a drag. I only have 3 or 4 friends I actually talk to. I also don't have a lot to do, and since its me and my Autistic brother just here, I sometimes get bored, or when things don't work I take it out on my brother (he's 22, I'm almost 24).

Lastly, my job struggles make me wonder if i'm an aspie. I plan on becoming a social studies teacher. Anyway i've had 3 interviews, and haven't got a job. I know its normal for this to happen, but I wonder if my body language is awkward. I always get really nervous about job interviews and become really self conscious. Sure sometimes I warm up and get better, but I always worry I look and act like a freak. It doesn't help that my mom often picks at wierd things I do when I talk to her. Like for some reason I always jerk my head, especially when she is talking to me when she is disappointed in me, and of course it makes me self conscious and I do it more. She also thinks I make weird faces, and sometimes talk in a weird voice (my voice changes when i'm tired to a more deep but scratchy, voice, where as normally I have a very pleasant and expressive voice, which people often complement me on). All of this just makes me wonder if i'm some aspie wierdo who will have to live on disability the rest of his life, or struggle in minimum wage jobs forever. I also worry i'll never have a girlfriend or relationship. I've never really had one. I've dated plenty of girls, but theres only one girl who i've had more than one date with. All the rest say i'm "nice" but just not right for them. I know this happens, but after 7 or 8 dates? Also, i'm often afraid to ask girls out. I don't have many girl friends (only two or three really) who i'm not interested in, which makes me wonder if i have aspergers. One last symptom I have is that since I've been young i've hit my own head when angry. I've heard this is common in Autistics and I worry that it was either a sign of autism, or i've made myself autistic due to brain damage

The only things that make me think I don't have it are that I am somewhat social (though I do have some shy tendencies, including my fear of rejection, though part of it stems from the fact i'm overweight and feel i'm ugly). I also am very polite and not very blunt. I try and humor people and know how to act socially (although I wonder if people are just nice and don't tell me if I have weird body language or something like that). I also seem to be very worried about my social life, which I know some autistics could care less about. I also don't really go on and on about the same subject and carry on conversations well with people.

So overall, I just want to know if i'm an aspie. I know only a doctor can tell, but it worried me. I guess I feel it would make me strange or wierd or that girls will think i'm messed up. it also doesn't help that my mom keeps saying I have tendencies (even though she's a special ed teacher and is okay with it. She just thinks I should work on better skills, even though she lets my brother revel in his obsessions of star wars and star trek to the point that its his whole life:() I'm just wondering what people on this site think. I do feel that maybe i'm normal, but then i have these wierd tendencies and it makes me wonder if i'm undiagnosed with aspergers.

Sry for the long post and thanks for your help.

Given your brother is HFA there's a higher chance you may carry the same genetic predisposition for autism. Until my HFA daughter was born I had no idea a lot of my strange behavior could be due to autism. I took a online Aspergers test (suggest you do likewise) and found I am on the spectrum.

Subsequently I look into my family history and found that many of my male ancestors had a speech delay. It was weird at first, like discovering I come from a long line of vampires or werewolves or something.

You'll find that, yes, quite a lot of aspies make lists or have collections that are unusual. But they don't consider their obsessions, or special interests, weird. You do. That's a big difference. I don't question my collection of digital late romantic symphonies, concertos and tone poems by some 600 composers as being weird, or look at my fascination with the black crow as being weird. That's who I am. And yeah, I do take offense with being referred to as some aspie weirdo.

Offence taken. I'm an autistic weirdo and I do not believe you are clinically significant based on what you described. But what do I know, only you know yourself. Being normal affords you a rich and interesting life, cherish it.

I'm sorry if that disappoints you.

From what you wrote I doubt you will get an AS diagnosis, however is entirely possible you have traits of an ASD since you would likely have the genitics. PDD-NOS?

What rapidroy said. You never know though; I'd highly recommend seeking an assessment if you consider it worth your time. You could simply be very talented at coping with your difficulties. There were just as many people who told me that seeking a diagnosis was a waste of time as people who said it was worthwhile so don't let us sway you if your out for a legitimate answer.

To the OP: It's kind of hard to say based on a forum thread. Have you read the diagnostic criteria for Asperger's Syndrome? Does it sound like it fits?

It's also possible that you're within what is called the Broad Autism Phenotype, which basically means you have more autistic tendencies than is considered typical, but you don't quite meet the diagnostic criteria for an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD):
http://autism.about.com/od/autismterms/g/phenotype.htm

Only a qualified professional can diagnose Asperger's, but a couple online tests can give you an idea of whether you might have it, which may help you determine if you should seek a formal diagnosis. Here's the Autism Spectrum Quotient; those with ASDs generally score 33 or higher:
http://psychology-tools.com/autism-spectrum-quotient/

There's also the Aspie-Quiz. This is a longer one that can also be useful:
http://rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

Also, this site provides a good overview of various ASD traits:
http://insideperspectives.wordpress.com

I can relate to what you say insofar as I am unsure of my diagnosis. I may have it; I may not. Some things fit, some things don't. But keep in mind that autism is a spectrum. Everyone has a different set of traits, and it affects people in all sorts of different ways. And as someone pointed out, you know you better than anyone here does. In any case, it doesn't hurt to speak to a professional, even if you don't have Asperger's--you can get help for any other difficulties you may have (social anxiety, etc...).

Hope this helps. Feel free to PM me if you want to discuss off-thread.

What traits of your brother's do you see in yourself? You can use him as a basic template to start with, but as others have said, autism is a spectrum, you two may only share a few basic fundamental autistic requirements. From your description you don't sound particularly autistic, but we are obviously not the best people to determine whether you are or not. I'd suggest taking the online tests then talking to your GP before seeking an official diagnosis as they can run between $500-$2000 which is a lot of money for something you're only halfway certain about. I would do more research to see if you feel like you fit most of the criteria first. And, just as a social tip, even if you refer to yourself inclusively, most people don't really like their differences being labelled as "weird"; we aren't weird, just different. Do you see your brother as weird? Would you be upset to find out you were one of us?

Do you have any unusual skills or talents? I think that many Aspies spend too much time trying to be "normal." I think it is a good idea to hone any particular gifts God may have given you--like playing Scrabble to memorize all the words in the dictionary.

Thanks for the replies and sorry for being a little insensitive. I know that I've probably hurt people, but these are just my personal feelings. I don't think aspergers is a bad thing by any means or makes you less of a person, its just I have this image in my mind, and of course as I mentioned, my mom makes me self conscious about certain things and for being a special ed teacher, doesn't know about certain traits and diseases (she used to think everyone with tourettes would randomly shout out curse words and used to say us kids had it when we'd yell at her )

I've taken the autism test online and scored a 23. So I agree that I probably have some traits but not enough to be considered autistic. I kind of like this because it makes more sense. Sure I have traits, but I also feel a little more freaked out by them. I also think that a lot of my worried come from being isolated. In college I never worried about this because there was always something to do or a person to hang out with. Now that i'm back at home, I don't have much other than substitute teaching or working at my grocery store job, so my main contact is my HFA brother, and living out on a farm in the middle of nowhere probably means I pick up traits just from living with him.

As for the person who mentioned comparing me and him, we are quite different. He is very obsessed with star wars and star trek, as in that is almost all he reads and watches on tv. The civil war is probably his only other obsession. Me, i'm a little more broad. In fact I worry Idon't have enough of a hobby. Also, he is much more emotionally ( ican't think of the word, not dead, but just kind of stoic and nothing really bugs him, like if you ask him if he is lonely he just says "mmm I don't know, maybe", but just shrugs it off and goes back to watching Next Gen or playing his video games. Me, I am much more emotionally imbalanced. I get angry easily and frustrated at people, yet I also try and be nice and try to win them over. However at times I do get into a mood where i "don't care" and wish people would just accept me for being who I am. One last thing is, that my brother doesn't make lists like I do. He used to, but didn't see it as strange. His lists were more based on civil war battles, but he didn't think it was weird or try to hide it like I did. He also is a lot more naive than I am and doesn't realize how to use words. an example of this is blow job. He thinks it means to blow something off with a blow dryer or air hose, and uses it pretty frequently (for example, I need to give the lawn mower a blow job, when its dirty) even though there is the innapropriate sexual connotation.

Thats just what I see. I figured I'd come on here and just see what people say

As for a diganosis, would it be a good idea for someone "barely registering on the spectrum" to get, I mean is a teacher would there be non-disclosure issues that could arise if the OP hides it then gets found out? or potential discrimation issues that would be very hard to prove?

For meny of us we qualify for and require social services, supports and other accomiations on top of the piece of mind we get for having the paper. However if you barely register your likely not going to qualify for most of those things.

Not trying to hijack the thread, the anwser does not matter or affect me one bit, just thinking of related issues to the OP, wondering and thinking out loud.

Okay, my other problem is I don't have many friends now. But i'm kind of in transition since I have onyl 2 part time jobs. But anymore, I don't feel motivated to socialize other than talking to my best friend about every week or so. I do like to party sometimes, but I get nervous. Like I love going out to dance, but I'm afraid to ask girls, so I just go around talking to people and drinking (not too much though). But yes I guess you could say I care a lot about my social life