I don't understand why some words are "offensive"

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I have wondered since I was a small child (I am 32 now) why some words are off limits, why some people cringe or even get angry if you say the wrong word etc. Especially if you say it without any context, I figure you'd have to be crazy to get upset at a word by itself, with no context. It doesn't even form a whole thought!

Two days ago, one of my friends (who also has Aspergers) told me he is the same way. We both find this stuff fascinating, I think because it seems like people are being really weird about it.

Around my other friends with Aspergers, none of them have ever asked me to tone down my language or pull my punches if I'm discussing something. But with NTs, there seems to be some kind of emotional wall that won't let them talk about some subjects or use certain words without feeling really uncomfortable.

Is there something to this? Are my friends simply a group of people who share some of my tastes, and it's merely a coincidence that they both don't find themselves offended much, and have Aspergers? Or is being upset at a particular socially-prohibited thing just not "normal" for us?

IMO it has more to do with people's culture, peers and way they are brought up. I find sexual swear words offensive as do many people, Aspie or NT. There are similarly groups of people I've encountered over the years that like to f every other word - they find it normal as do their clique.

I accidentally use words that tend to offend people without me even realizing it and I can't even comprehend why it offended them...

A recent example, I was somewhere and there was a japanese lady nearby and I described the use of bamboo as being 'too asianey'. She developed an odd look on her face and looked at me odd, I'm sure she was offended...

I've been thinking, is that really offensive??? In some weird dicsonnected way I could see how it is, but I don't get it.

I've wondered about this as well and have come to the conclusion (right or wrong) that the NT world is just too uptight.

I mean, we're the ones who are supposed to have problems, but they're so intolerant of difference.
I don't think anything should be off-limits for discussion, and I think Aspies are better at not allowing emotions to blind them, thus being more open when it comes to certain words and topics.

Just think what kind of wonderful conversations the rest of the world could be having if they only divorced themselves from their tendency of being offended all the time.

And we're the ones who are "disabled" - bah, I think not.

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Diagnosed with High Functioning Autism well into adulthood.
It's never too late to get a diagnosis.
Hell, I thought I was just weird.

i can (obviously) come off as really abrupt and my tone can sound sharpish, so feel free to ask me to clarify

I find nearly all vulgar and derogatory swear words very offensive and have felt that way as a child. And no, I wasn't brought up in a religious household. Over the years I've had to learn to tolerate it somewhat just so I don't go insane! And yet while so many people have no problems at all dropping F-bombs or using all the obscene words for body parts if you say "penis", "breast", or "virgin", the same, proper words DOCTORS use, the Really Mature Ones snicker wildly at you. On the other hand my parents will still say "queer" when they mean "strange" and I feel the need to remind them what that word normally means these days. Why have so many words that didn't use to mean something rude or offensive now do? Even "dumb" used to just mean "mute", but I read people started using it as the shortened version of the German phrase "dumkopf", meaning a stupid person. Dumb cluck, dumb bunny, Louise the Trumpeter Swan misunderstanding his father when he said, "I am afraid that you are dumb" because he had no voice. Okay I'm just being silly, now.

If you accept that there is such a thing is language, then you are pretty much going to have to accept that there are words in it that are considered "vulgar". How else would a language express insults/obsenity if it did'nt have vulgar words?

Language is a communication tool, and those happen to be the most powerful/dangerous words to use.

I don't particularly understand it from a personal point of view but interestingly I have learnt more about why certain words are 'taboo' since developing coprolalia (involuntary swearing). As it has already been said, certain words are affixed to emotions. The average person will have learnt that saying the 'f-word' for example, would result in a smack or a yelling at (depending on what generation you are!). As you get older, your brain automatically puts the 'bad words' deep into your basal ganglia along with words that you are also unlikely to use on a day to day basis unless you are a toddler. For the majority of people, walking into a table will cause them to utter a curse word, quite often the s-word. Due to their frontal lobes having developed an almost irrational and emotional fear or disgust towards that word, you will immediately feel awful for having used it. In my case, with my Tourettes, the filter in the frontal lobe doesn't appear to be working, so all the silly things in my basal ganglia pop out at random causing either distress or hilarity to those around me!

I learnt all of this from a fascinating TV series called 'Fry's planet word'. It is available on DVD in the UK but I am not sure if it has been broadcast in any other country yet. If not it should be!

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I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite )

When it comes to the N... word, I see the fault in the massive influence of US television all aorund the world. So when I was young, it was usual to say "Neger" in Austira, the word comes from the latin word "negro" which has the meaning of nothing more then a colour: Black. My parents generation were travelling and working all around the world, and when they were working in africa a friend of my father fell in love with a women and they married. She already had one child, and together they got a daughter which is a friend of mine. So around 1985 in kindergarten it was completly normal to use the word "Neger" when she herself described her origin, because it meant nothing more than being black. There were lots of other words with Neger in it, so "Negerküsse" (= N...kisses ^^) was a special sweetie with dark chocolate around it or "Negerbrot" was a chocolate with african nuts in it and so on...

So the english word N.... had the same origin, the latin colour word Negro, but i think people just didnt know any longer that it meant nothing more then a colour, and because of the lack of knowledge started to use it in offensive ways in earlier days, until it was regularly known as offensive word.

Through american series, music and so on the context of the word "N...." became more and more known and because the word "Neger" is so similar to "N...", for people now its the same.

But yeah, its really weird if you were used to it, its as if I was forbidden to tell someone, that i have "white" skin colour, just because in another country someone would make an offensive word out of an similar word, that meant nothing else but a colour. -.-

But yes, I absolutely accept that for people, specially black one that are used that this word is used in an offensive way against them, it must have been really disturbing, to hear people in europe yell a similar word openly around or have sweeties called that way and so on. But I hope it is understable, that it is also really weird that a simple colour discribing word becomes rude over night. So I accept it and ok. But what I do not understand: If that N word is so terrible, why is ok to use it in songs, specially if they are created from artists that should be offended by the word. O_o

I see certain swear words as "Low Speech". Especially if someone peppers their speech with F-bombs. It shows a person as unsophisticated or having low culture.

Also, including most swear words in a sentence kind of have an implied "!" with them. Especially the F-word it's used for exclamation.

So in a way using the F-word constantly is equivalent to TYPING IN ALL CAPS WHICH IS REALLY ANNOYING.

The word s**t is not quite as bad but often seems to have an implied "!" depending on speech inflection when saying it.

I still wouldn't like it though.