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Between then and now I met two guys with Asperger's, both singing students with my same vocal coach (what a coincidence, huh?), and I feel I'm different from them. Maybe it's because I'm a woman and they're men, but I don't identify myself with them. Is this normal? Am I crazy?
It's a spectrum. Not all autistics are alike, even if they're similar functioning levels.
I've met many autustics in person, all along the functioning level. Some I identify with, others I don't.
It doesn't seem to relate to gender for me - I've identified more with some guys than some girls. It also doesn't relate much to functioning level - I've identified both with Temple Grandin (don't like her autism politics, but when I met her at a conference I got a strong feeling that she was like me) and with a 10 year old diaper-wearing boy with only three communicative words. It seems to me that it's most strongly related to body language. If they have a similar style of body language to me, I'll get a feeling of kinship with them.