Secretive or upfront about what ya have?

Page 1 of 3 [ 43 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

equestriatola
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Aug 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 134,388
Location: Half of me is in the Washington state, the other Los Angeles.

25 Jan 2013, 12:37 am

Self-explanatory, are you a secretive or upfront about your Aspie's/autism?

Me, I'm now leaning towards upfront about it; I want people to know, because like the saying goes, knowledge is power.


_________________
LIONS-STAMPEDERS-ELKS-ROUGHRIDERS-BLUE BOMBERS-TIGER-CATS-ARGONAUTS-REDBLACKS-ALOUETTES

The Canadian Football League - What We're Made Of

Feel free to talk to me, if you wish. :)

Every day is a gift- cherish it!

"A true, true friend helps a friend in need."


kamiyu910
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Dec 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,036
Location: California

25 Jan 2013, 12:40 am

Since I don't have an official diagnosis yet, I can't tell people. But if I do get diagnosed an Aspie, I probably still won't tell people except on a need to know basis. Most people don't know about my depression, it just doesn't seem relevant. I guess I just don't want people to suddenly treat me differently, like I'm suddenly "special"... I also don't want any diagnosis to be used against me like it was for my brother.


_________________
Your Aspie score: 171 of 200
Your Neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 40 of 200


alan78
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jan 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 18
Location: Glasgow UK

25 Jan 2013, 12:46 am

I'm trying to work this one out myself, i think people i trust i might confide in, but not be upfront with everyone. I think its fair to say some people will be understanding, and others will be judgemental, so i am a bit weary.



League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,205
Location: Pacific Northwest

25 Jan 2013, 12:51 am

Secretive. I don't tell people I have it.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.


FishStickNick
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Apr 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,284
Location: Right here, silly!

25 Jan 2013, 1:29 am

equestriatola wrote:
Self-explanatory, are you a secretive or upfront about your Aspie's/autism?

Me, I'm now leaning towards upfront about it; I want people to know, because like the saying goes, knowledge is power.

I lack a formal diagnosis, so I don't feel comfortable telling anyone but close friends or family--and even then, I say that I may have AS, not that I definitively have it. If/when I seek a diagnosis, I may be more open about it, but I'll worry about that when the time comes...



windtreeman
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 498
Location: Seattle, Washington

25 Jan 2013, 1:44 am

Secretive. I'm still freshly diagnosed, I guess, so I haven't found any happy medium just yet. The only people I've told are my close friends and a few curious relatives. I don't think I'll ever post it on my Facebook or something like that. I guess, if I was going to be in a stressful environment, like going to the dentist for something, I might let them know so that they understand I might not react to certain things the same and if I do have some sort of weird moment, it'll be easier to explain. That's really vague, but basically, I'd feel like, telling them I'm diagnosed with Asperger's would make me feel a lot more comfortable not trying to conform to how I think they expect me to act and thus, relax a bit more. I'll probably never tell my Dad. Not unless I'm forced to.


_________________
Assessed 11/17/12
Diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and Generalized Anxiety Disorder 12/12/12
My vocal and guitar covers (Portishead, Radiohead and Muse) http://www.youtube.com/user/DreaminginWaves/featured


Last edited by windtreeman on 25 Jan 2013, 2:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

noxnocturne
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Nov 2012
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,693
Location: Harassing Muggles

25 Jan 2013, 1:49 am

Two of my aunts and uncles know--the rest of my family, well, it's not really their business. As for friends, I'll only tell my two closest friends.



Boogoose
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 29 Apr 2012
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 24

25 Jan 2013, 1:54 am

I don't mind telling people if they ask what my deal is but I'm not going to get I have aspergers T-shirts made anytime soon either.

Its my business, I don't want to know other peoples medical history so I don't see any need to tell people mine. Then if I am rolled and I end up telling someone I tend to just say I have a slight social disorder and elaborate further if they wish to know more. I could not stand to have to explain Aspergers to everybody in my life.



Dreycrux
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jan 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 552

25 Jan 2013, 2:02 am

I have told my family and my best friend from high school days

My family knew something was up ever since I was a child but they were dairy farmers, and didn't know much about autism. Thought I was just introverted, preferred to play alone and was a "lazy talker".

It was embarrassing and difficult to tell them in my adult life but I made it through. They understand and are supportive in what they say, now I am very happy.



FishStickNick
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Apr 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,284
Location: Right here, silly!

25 Jan 2013, 2:07 am

Dreycrux wrote:
I have told my family and my best friend from high school days

My family knew something was up ever since I was a child but they were dairy farmers, and didn't know much about autism. Thought I was just introverted, preferred to play alone and was a "lazy talker".

It was embarrassing and difficult to tell them in my adult life but I made it through. They understand and are supportive in what they say, now I am very happy.

I told my sister not too long ago, and her response was, "I knew that already." She had already figured out that I may have AS.



Phenom
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jan 2012
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 115
Location: California

25 Jan 2013, 2:10 am

Always.



Dreycrux
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jan 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 552

25 Jan 2013, 2:14 am

FishStickNick wrote:
I told my sister not too long ago, and her response was, "I knew that already." She had already figured out that I may have AS.


My sister said something similar "How did they not know?" (Referring to my parents) when I told her. She was my "translator" when I was little. No one could figure out what I was trying to say. Talking was physically difficult...



Sylant
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jan 2013
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 88

25 Jan 2013, 2:15 am

Secretive, but if someone were to ask me i'd tell them. It's not like I want to hide it from anyone, just that I prefer people see me as the person I am rather than the way my mind works. Sure I have Aspergers, but there's more to all of us than just that one fact, and I think everything else that makes up who we are matters a lot more.



invisiblesilent
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Aug 2012
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,150

25 Jan 2013, 2:32 am

I am pretty up front about it. I feel compelled to advocate and to make people understand that someone can look and largely act "normal" (perhaps just be viewed as "shy") and yet still be having huge difficulty in life. It's actually shocking how little people know about autism considering that it is relatively common and if I can change a few attitudes/misconceptions and help a few people understand by being up front then that is a good thing.

If anybody attempts to discriminate against me based on what I tell them then they are going to find out that some autistic people (for clarity: in this situation I mean me) are VERY capable of standing up for themselves. I hate discrimination and crappy, intolerant attitudes so if anybody pulls that on me they are getting a serious talking to.

edit: I was as guilty as most of the rest of society about having no idea about autism until we figured out that I had it and that it is the main source of my difficulties in life. Sadly people aren't very good at giving a crap about other people's problems unless it directly affects them.

edit again: I have one friend in particular who I get the feeling from that he is sceptical about AS which is odd considering his FWB has AS too. I may well be wrong about his feelings on the topic, reading people is not a strong point of mine... but if someone who was interested in me in that way had a condition about which I was sceptical of the validity then I don't think I could have that kind of FWB arrangement with them. Like I said I might be totally wrong about his views about AS. I'm still working on him though and trying to get him to take it more seriously than he appears to from my perspective.



Phenom
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jan 2012
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 115
Location: California

25 Jan 2013, 2:53 am

Sylant wrote:
Secretive, but if someone were to ask me i'd tell them. It's not like I want to hide it from anyone, just that I prefer people see me as the person I am rather than the way my mind works. Sure I have Aspergers, but there's more to all of us than just that one fact, and I think everything else that makes up who we are matters a lot more.

See I have tried in the past, and no matter how well you try to educate some people, they still remain ignorant. Now not only do you have to overcome the social difficulties when the "perceived" you to be normal (with some doubt of course), now they have something they can attack you with which presents a whole new set of problems. On top of that, if your in a college setting or something like this, eventually it gets around to the whole school. Now, if your one of the Aspies who really try HARD to fit in, you have essentially stacked the cards up against yourself. I'm past that stage, but I still don't want to give anyone anything to attack me with. I'm not saying everyone will do this, just an overwhelming amount.



Sylvastor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jan 2013
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 781
Location: Germany

25 Jan 2013, 3:32 am

I'm actually quite secretive about it.
Only my closest family knows (parents and brother) and my psychologist.

Somehow my vice-headteacher found out though, I didn't even know so unless she mentioned it in a conversation on Wednesday (she taught me history before), that was one of my biggest "What the hell..."-moments of 2013 so far, she could even explain why she suspected me to have AS and is the only teacher who actually noticed I'm different and who could categorize that (other than my elementary school class teacher, she noticed I was quite different but didn't suspect anything), so as a result, she and another teacher now know about the suspicion. At least I don't have to explain anything anymore in case it would be needed. :roll:


_________________
Diagnosed with Aspergers.
BSP-errors are awesome.