NT mom and teacher wanting to know how to help with meltdown

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My 10 year old son has Asperger's and experiences meltdowns where he just can't stop. I am also a teacher pursuing an Autism license. I would like to know from you how you have handle a "meltdown". What are the strategies you use to help calm your self ? I try to help my son and my students in various ways but I am looking for more strategies to use with them.

Do you find that his meltdowns make you in a distressed state? I ask because you want to know how to calm yourself. The worst thing you can do is to get anxious or distressed yourself as he needs people to remain calm around him when he's having a meltdown.

If he is having a meltdown due to sensory reasons the most helpful solution is to remove him from the environment that is causing the sensory meltdown.

If it is because he is frustrated over something, you could try distraction, although I don't know if that would work as well as it might for a younger child. If you know something that he is fascinated with or gets really absorbed with you could use that to distract him.

I don't know if he would take notice of PECS cards if he's in the midst of a meltdown but you could try.

Overall, I would try to move him to a safe quiet area until he has calmed down.

Thank you for your advice.

For my son I usually let him go to a quiet place or if at home go where he feels he is able to calm himself down. His meltdowns are usually because he is frustrated or there was a change in expectations. I want him to be able to learn ways to reduce his stress before it gets to a state of meltdown.
When it comes to my students, I often use the same strategies. I also use symbols to help reduce the stress levels and meltdowns. We have sensory rooms that we use as well.

My son does not yet recognize when he is feeling stressed and would like to know what others do to help them get through.

Well, first thing is to identify the triggers. Keep a record. Whenever he has a meltdown, write down what happened just before the meltdown (what was the situation, what kind of sensory stimulation was present, what kind of demands were placed on him, etc), what the meltdown itself consisted of (crying, yelling, aggression, etc) and what happened after the meltdown (eg punishment or rewards). See if you can find a pattern. (Incidentally, this kind of diary is known as an ABC chart - antecedent, behavior and consequence.) Far better to prevent meltdowns than try to deal with them when they happen.

Common triggers of AS meltdowns:
* sensory overload (noise, lights, touch, etc)
* change in routine or violating a ritual the kid obsesses on
* people being mean to the kid (AS kids are at high risk of being bullied)
* being pressured to do something the person finds difficult (eg writing for a kid with poor fine motor skills)

When I have a meltdown, I just want to be left alone in a quiet place for a while until I calm down. Usually someone talking to me makes it worse and last a lot longer, which is what often happened when I was at school.

Personally I find what people do on average to soothe one another exacerbates things for me. Trying to touch me or hug me when I'm having a meltdown does not help. People trying to tell me or rationalize how I should feel doesn't help either. What works most for me is either ride it out, find something to focus in on put on my headphones and ignore the world for a few. At 29 I still have a hard time recognizing and handling my emotions so I don't know what sort of preventatives would be helpful.