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vickygleitz
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19 Dec 2013, 6:04 pm

What exactly does that mean? And How,How to get over stuff.? Being falsely accused of things and having the accusers and abusers telling me to get over it? DEMANDING I get over something HUGE. How can I do that when I do not even receive the most perfunctory of apologies?



ouroborosUK
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19 Dec 2013, 6:09 pm

Get over what ? Please give us details. I think many people here are willing to give sympathy and support for what you are experiencing but please let your anger go for a while and explain us. What are those unacceptable demands and who are making them about what ?


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beneficii
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19 Dec 2013, 6:09 pm

vickygleitz wrote:
What exactly does that mean? And How,How to get over stuff.? Being falsely accused of things and having the accusers and abusers telling me to get over it? DEMANDING I get over something HUGE. How can I do that when I do not even receive the most perfunctory of apologies?


I agree. That's an effing horrible thinking to say.


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Sherry221B
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19 Dec 2013, 6:27 pm

I'm sorry that they won't apologise :(



starkid
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19 Dec 2013, 6:35 pm

Normally, it means "stop fretting about it," but if someone is YELLING it or sighing in exasperation, it means, "stop talking to me about it."



naturalplastic
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19 Dec 2013, 9:01 pm

Why two threads on the same subject?

Anyway- its hard to comment when you dont know the details.

You could just button hole them and ask them "is there a REASON that you dont owe me an apology?"Walk me through it step by step. Why not? Just to see what they say.

If that fails you could always just pour maple syrup into their gas tank and destroy their car engine. And if they complain just tell them to "get over it".



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20 Dec 2013, 1:17 pm

Oh I hate that phrase so, so much. I always respond by saying "well, if your child was brutally murdered, are you going to just get over it?" I'm kinda going through someone similar where someone did something unforgivable and I'm expected to just forgive and forget. Sorry, I expect to see things set right first.



jk1
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20 Dec 2013, 1:25 pm

People say is when they couldn't care less about how you feel.



vickygleitz
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20 Dec 2013, 2:01 pm

I am not speaking specifically of any one thing, but several. I am one of those autists with a very strange type of memory. Anything that is extraordinarily emotionaly painful to me is stored almost like a constant memory of how I remembered it about 5 minutes after the incident. not everything painful. Pain having to do with extreme lies and betrayel. on the rare occasion that problems have been resolved, I am no longer relentlessly haunted by the pain of the cruelty committed against me or a loved one.

Because these events are always as fresh as they were 5 minutes after they happened, I cannot get over them. Yes, I have gotten counseling. No, it has not helped. I was thinking that maybe someone on here had found a productive way to deal with this. I realize that most other autistics do not have this issue, but that most who do, are autistic.

And yes, a few sincere apologies would change so many things.



bumble
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20 Dec 2013, 2:08 pm

vickygleitz wrote:
What exactly does that mean? And How,How to get over stuff.? Being falsely accused of things and having the accusers and abusers telling me to get over it? DEMANDING I get over something HUGE. How can I do that when I do not even receive the most perfunctory of apologies?


If you find out let me know please.

I have had people accuse me of things I have not done to the point that it has stopped people from socialising with me and has helped to keep me socially isolated (people believed the lies that were spread around about me and avoided me based on the word of these individuals). I can't get over it as it's still affecting my life. I've been driven off every internet site due to these people following me around the web and have lost a way of connecting with people and finding friends because of it.

I am only thankful that I am now well enough to go out and so am not totally reliant on the internet for socialisation anymore, but all the same, meeting people online was a good way to get talking to folks until they started their s**t. The internet has not always been bad for me, at one point I meet some very nice people online.

I did scream at them at one point (in text) but that was after years and years of online abuse by them.

All the same I am not over it and won't be for a while.

You don't have to get over anything.



bumble
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20 Dec 2013, 2:14 pm

vickygleitz wrote:
I am not speaking specifically of any one thing, but several. I am one of those autists with a very strange type of memory. Anything that is extraordinarily emotionaly painful to me is stored almost like a constant memory of how I remembered it about 5 minutes after the incident. not everything painful. Pain having to do with extreme lies and betrayel. on the rare occasion that problems have been resolved, I am no longer relentlessly haunted by the pain of the cruelty committed against me or a loved one.



I don't know if I am aspie unfortunately, and I do not know if this is the same as you experience, but I do have strong emotions at times when I am hurt by the malicious actions of others and am wounded by accusations of things I either did not do or did not intend to do. I am both hurt and shocked. It plays on my mind, I can't forget the incident/s. I feel great pain when I think of them. They haunt me.

But a resolution will cure the problem and the painful feelings regarding the incident will go away. I will simply forgive, forget and move on.

When a resolution cannot be obtained I will be relentlessly plagued by my memories of said incident and the hurt I am feeling in regards to them. It;s like a form of mental torture and no I can't get over it.


PN Not all of my emotions are intense, only the most hurtful of events can trigger an intense emotional response in me, but I am quite an emotional person for someone on the spectrum, therefore it is one thing that makes me doubt I might have an ASD. Ie I can be logical but I still think things like love and romance are sweet anyway. I am a soppy bugger when I am not trying to problem solve. I like lots of cuddles but as a way of saying "i like you" rather than as a way of being comforted when I have an upsetting problem. For the problem I want solutions and/or a resolution, not a hug.



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20 Dec 2013, 4:26 pm

The phrase "get over it" is usually said by people who think they know how you should feel and what you should do. But they cannot even imagine how others feel in certain situations and they are the ones who get really mad if someone else tells them to get over something.

In such situations I usually say "I don't need your advice."



Sherry221B
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22 Dec 2013, 6:44 pm

Quote:
I am not speaking specifically of any one thing, but several. I am one of those autists with a very strange type of memory. Anything that is extraordinarily emotionaly painful to me is stored almost like a constant memory of how I remembered it about 5 minutes after the incident. not everything painful. Pain having to do with extreme lies and betrayel. on the rare occasion that problems have been resolved, I am no longer relentlessly haunted by the pain of the cruelty committed against me or a loved one.

Because these events are always as fresh as they were 5 minutes after they happened, I cannot get over them. Yes, I have gotten counseling. No, it has not helped. I was thinking that maybe someone on here had found a productive way to deal with this. I realize that most other autistics do not have this issue, but that most who do, are autistic.


That happens to me too-With those memories. I re experience all those bad things I had every day too.....It's almost like being there again. Yes, memories can haunt like that...



buffinator
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22 Dec 2013, 8:01 pm

I've been having a really frustrating situation were I remember things... or maybe they were hyper-realistic dreams, or maybe they were once memories that have become exaggerated? I cannot tell and it is f*****g with my reality matrix because the thoughts and emotions associated with them are so vivid that I feel like I am there, and sometimes it happens while I am awake/zoned out and I snap out of it not sure where I am.



micfranklin
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23 Dec 2013, 10:37 am

If you're talking about an accident like falling down the stairs or spilling milk, then that's pretty easy.



buffinator
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23 Dec 2013, 11:08 am

micfranklin wrote:
If you're talking about an accident like falling down the stairs or spilling milk, then that's pretty easy.
I think this is getting off-topic, I might make a thread about it.


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