Advice: stop the video games and choose useful obssessions

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Autistic people, from my experience, often develop obsessions. I have Aspergers myself and have encountered many other aspergerians as well, in my educational experience.

It saddens me that so many great autistic minds are wasted away, obsessing over anime and video games. I know that not every autistic person is like this but I've encountered enough who are, that I feel the need to take the time to make this post.

The first year I took high school (I'm in a 5th year right now as I will take an extra year to graduate), I was obsessed with video games. I was enthusiastic about all sorts of games - Call of Duty, Halo, Final Fantasy VII, Legend of Zelda, Civilization V, and a bunch of TCG games and tabletop games.

At one point I was getting terrible grades. My dad told me that I should stop wasting my intelligence on Dungeons and Dragons, and instead learn more about maths, economics, or computers or something like that. I understood where he was coming from, but I couldn't see myself putting down the Magic cards anytime soon. As a result, I struggled academically and retook freshman year, starting in a different school district. This discouraging movement to a special ed program in a different school was a major step backwards in my social and academic progress. I became far more sheltered and less confident socially, all because I knew that I had failed freshman year the first time. 2nd Freshman year went okay, Sophomore year started very badly, but by the Spring I had quickly changed my attitude, changed my obsessions, and become far more motivated to learn and grow socially.

I still play games sometimes, but I see it as a way to connect with friends, not something to devote your life to. This makes life so much better. I also watch anime but I could never see myself as one of those Otaku who lives in the dreaded underworld known as Mom's basement.

I'm a lot happier now. I've forced myself to become far more interested in my school subjects and useful job skills, like programming. I have also done a lot more socializing with peers, and just had a great time the last year and a half of high school.

There is hope for those struggling in high school. I was terribly depressed four years earlier. Yesterday, I got an acceptance letter from a somewhat selective college (one with a 40% acceptance rate) yesterday, despite my rough high school experience. My grades weren't superb after the first year either, but they were good enough to get into a respected college. I had great extracurricular activities and test scores.

I'd like to emphasize, in this post, the importance of developing useful obsessions, ones that can help you get through school and a career. The world isn't going to be good to you if your main area of expertise is how to play as a level 17 halfling rogue.

Lastly, I wanted to ask, have any other aspies met people like this, people who are intelligent but don't devote intelligence to useful pastimes?

Sorry, but I can't "choose" my obsessions.

And I find my obsessions, namely video games, horror movies, fantasy novels, and action figures, to be extremely "useful."

I don't think you get to choose your special interests--something is either compellingly interesting or it's not.

More than that, I think game playing can be useful as an emotional regulator, means of socialization (if it's real life RPGs or table top games, certainly) and general psychological palliative. You are certainly better off spending some time on your console than hitting the bottle.

Another thought that the OP's tale brings to mind is the idea of developmental stages and developmental delay. Sometimes people have a rough time in one or another part of school because they are just not ready for it. Later, they master those skills because they have grown into them--but people have a tendency to view the inability to deal with one aspect or another of life as a personal moral failing, not a feature of a delay or disability.

Maybe you did the best you could in middleschool or highschool and the alternative to the enjoyment you had from anime and games was just being less happy and no better at school or alternative pursuits more likely to contribute to future success.

It's great if you can direct your focus onto things that will contribute to your wellbeing and future. It's essential to learn how to moderate your engagement in things that don't help you to survive. But I don't think it's as easy as "choose useful obsessions." If it is for you, consider yourself lucky.

Here's how to win at life: get a job doing what you love.

If you don't do what you love, you will never win at life.

Heh, I was a HARDCORE gamer in high school(still am, just to a lesser extent) and I graduated with a 4.0 gpa. It's possible to absolutely obsess over things, yet still find a balance with other things.

I have known people whose lives were taken over by their gaming.
They stopped doing things that they were supposed to be doing and seemed to devote themselves to gaming.
Some people have told me that gaming is their eggscape from the world.
I think that gaming is fine in moderation as a fun activity.
I agree with OP that focusing on something useful like academics or job skills is better than devoting oneself to gaming or using gaming as eggscape from difficulties of life.
Perhaps a small minority of gamers turn their gaming interests into a career that they love, and I support that, but it takes development of skills beyond the ackshul gaming and focusing on things other than gaming to do that.

And if it's impossible (i.e. unaccepted by society and law), then... ?

I have never developed an affinity for video games. They bore me senseless, but we know people do not choose their obsessions. We just need to learn how to focus on which of our obsessions we can use to best advantage in finding and cultivating a rewarding career. Some people are fortunate to be able to use their video game skills to pursue lucrative and satisfying employment. Not possible for all of us. If I were younger wghen I was diagnosed I would have had a better understanding of what I was going through and could maybe have capitalized on my obsessions for employment. As it is, my severe social anxiety prevents me from using my primary obsession on a career path.

Gaming, or watching TV, or even reading, is immediately gratifying. People who spend a great deal of time at it may have trouble motivating themselves, or they may be unsuccessful at doing things they'd otherwise like to be doing, or perhaps should be doing.

I'm not a gamer, but at the moment I am listening to music and reading WP instead of doing something more productive. Or sleeping.

This. OP, you're doubtless coming from a good place, but your obsessive interests must be closer to NT obsessions than aspie ones if you have the ability to pick and choose what you become interested in, and how intensely you engage in that interest. I have no control over the sorts of things I become fascinated by (it was never my intention to watch every Gene Wilder film ever produced (there were 29 of them) or to memorise their release dates and all of Wilder's co-stars) and I have little impulse control when it comes to studying them (yes, I should probably go downstairs and converse with my family, but I can't right now: I'm researching dinosaurs.) It can be annoying at times, knowing you have more important things to be doing than poring over your Peanuts cartoons for the millionth time, but I enjoy my interests; they give my life meaning.

I've never really played a lot of video games, but I do find them entertaining and like to play them sometimes, but wouldn't consider quite an obsession. I have gotten into one game rather recently but still get bored if I spend too long on it. I also like anime as far as animated movies/shows but also non-animated movies and documentaries My main obsession is probably music, though I cannot play it but I do enjoy concerts and listening to it a lot, whether it's a useful obsession is a matter of perspecective I suppose. I do listen to music while doing productive things like laundry, cleaning or cooking, walking/taking bus places I have to go for instance.

When I was growing up my favorite thing was reading, read a lot of non-fiction but obviously liked fantasy, also liked some horror and science fiction sort of stuff. But due to mental health crap its hard to concentrate/enjoy reading though I still do here and there. I got alright grads in school, graduated and went to college which I proceeded to fail at.

A lot of aspies use gaming as an escape, like I do. Can't function in modern society? Escape into a videogame! There are probably a metric ton of male aspies like me who choose this path after trying over and over again to make ourselves 'work' here.

I used to draw a lot and maintained a pretty daily routine on creativity, I loved art like crazy and used to make such amazing strides with projects and studies,but being unable to find any framework for myself in society made depression set in, which soon robbed me of my creativity.

Every now and then I try hard to regain my creativity, but drawing has become extremely painful, and I would fail at the most basic sketches.Worse yet, bad sessions trigger me into a fit of rage and anger unlike nothing. During one of these episodes I was so incensed and angered by my inability that I punched multiple holes into my wall to the point of making my fists bleed, because of how much it hurts, it's a terrifying feeling, to watch this side of you slowly wither away into pure nothingness, absolutely horrifying. I'm sort of scared of touching my drawing tablet again because I know it's going to trigger me into another fit of rage.

I compensate for these failures through videogames, and in a few months when the occulus rift arrives, I'm escaping into virtual reality -- this will be me:



it's going to be glorious, but to be honest I don't think my situation has any better alternatives.

I don't play video games and with the exception of a bit of entertainment here or there I basically view them as a waste of time.

I have healthier interests.. like my health, for instance. Nutrition, exercise/workouts/running kiteboarding etc. Reading, learning, investing etc etc, family, friends.. there are WAY too many much more valuable & beneficial things for me to want to spend my time on to take up playing video games. But that's just my opinion because I get nothing out of video games.

I agree with the OP, though. Video games and the like (this forum included, sometimes.) aren't exactly healthy beneficial obsessions. Do other things with your time and you'll be happier, healthier, and wealthier for it.

^ Sorry, but video games DO make me happy.

buddy, if i could choose what to obsess over, i'd obsess over exercising and college classes.

alas, i cannot.

therefore i obsess over video games and my job.

it's not like i can just force myself to be interested or disinterested in something

One of my obsessions is programming. If I don't take care it absorbs me completely and I neglect my other work. I'm also a bit evangelical about it, so here I go:

For those that obsessively love gaming: Why don't you take a little bit of my obsession and learn what is happening under the hood of your games? There is beautiful computer science and also a bit of mathematics and physics going on that might even motivate you at school. Search for "game programming" in your favorite online bookstore and you will find a ton of useful books of various levels. Be patient, learn step by step, and who knows, maybe you will be able to make it your job.

That's the end of my preaching...