Young schoolgirl commits suicide over mild autism diagnosis

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f9
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08 Apr 2015, 5:01 pm

MollyTroubletail wrote:
Is this IBeatAutism person or troll going to continually comment about their pity being good intentions in every thread. Please God no. I wish they would use their time to actually do something to help the disabled people they're pitying. Like maybe offer to do grocery shopping once a week for parents who are busy caring for a disabled child. Help illiterate people learn to read. Volunteer to come along on primary school field trips as an extra hand to help the teachers. Brush the stray cats at the animal shelter. Anything! :roll:


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And the story saddens me so much, the description of her is like a paste-and-copy of description of myself at that age... Why she was dragged to a psychologist at the first place?? Over-caring 21st century parents...



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08 Apr 2015, 5:24 pm

Sad story. I was diagnosed younger than that, it was tough and isn't something I'm really comfortable talking about IRL even today so I definitely can relate to that feeling. At that age I was not happy, I was probably more angry but I can see going the other way too. I do think its a bit more complicated than simply being mad at being diagnosed, at that time you're coming to terms with a lot changes since you're not a kid anymore.

There really needs to be more support for those on the entire spectrum, it is a real disability but with the right accommodations a lot of us can overcome these challenges. I think it is pretty easy to be hopeless and insecure about it when you can't see any light at the end of the tunnel.



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08 Apr 2015, 5:30 pm

I feel sad for the girl. She probably wanted to be normal and then she got this label and it dragged her down. I felt the same way when I was diagnosed. Having it meant I was a failure and will ever be normal. My way of dealing with it was always forgetting about it literally while she never forgot. Her parents tried to be positive and were probably trying to point out that she isn't broken and need fixing but she was probably too stuck on wanting to be normal and didn't want to hear about any famous people having it.


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08 Apr 2015, 6:21 pm

f9 wrote:
MollyTroubletail wrote:
Is this IBeatAutism person or troll going to continually comment about their pity being good intentions in every thread. Please God no. I wish they would use their time to actually do something to help the disabled people they're pitying. Like maybe offer to do grocery shopping once a week for parents who are busy caring for a disabled child. Help illiterate people learn to read. Volunteer to come along on primary school field trips as an extra hand to help the teachers. Brush the stray cats at the animal shelter. Anything! :roll:


U rock, Troubletail!
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And the story saddens me so much, the description of her is like a paste-and-copy of description of myself at that age... Why she was dragged to a psychologist at the first place?? Over-caring 21st century parents...


Yes, it's clear from that article that diagnosis was a major destabilizing factor for this tragic young girl, and I think it would have been similar for me if I had had the same experience at the same age, especially as I became extremely depressed at age 14 and was already suicidal. I was saddened that the article linked to "cures" - and predictably, touting for CBT and ABA. Tragic.



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08 Apr 2015, 8:37 pm

I kind of wonder why this girl was seeing mental health professionals, like if she was having major problems that required this, or if it was her mother who forced her, because one of her father's quotes suggested that she was against going to this mental health place in the first place and she thought it was not for her but her mother, the article said that she thought the place was toxic, and it seemed that she really didn't want to be labeled with a disorder, perhaps any disorder. I have some questions about this story being less simple than teenage girl commits suicide due to AS diagnosis. At the time of diagnosis, she would have been about 13, which is old enough in my opinion to have a say in getting labeled or not, considering how negatively the unwanted label ended up affecting her.


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08 Apr 2015, 8:52 pm

It's not the only answer, but education about autism is highly needed. The common perception of it must be changed. That girl was a fan of Dr.Who - and very much like him, I would have thought. Could we add the names of TV characters to public persons (e.g. Einstein) who had autism?

Also, about this autism business. Had she been diagnosed with Asperger's, might she have found it easier to deal with? I've got to admit, "mild autism" sounds pretty bad. At least Asperger's had an up side.



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08 Apr 2015, 8:58 pm

Poor girl, she could've become great.



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09 Apr 2015, 4:59 pm

Yes, sad.

I see some parallels in her life as mine.

I concur about the idea of helping.

I co-worker recently 'retired' at an age 55, he had enough money, and he wanted to go out and help people, I believe it was troubled teens of his ethnicity. (Nothing about autism).

I have wondered if there is anything we, adult Aspies with a mild case, could do to help others.



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09 Apr 2015, 6:32 pm

Sweet girl. Sorry you were going through so much. Hope you're in a better place.



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09 Apr 2015, 7:14 pm

This is very sad to read, we need to get rid of the stigma associated with any form of autism, personally it is not a fate worse than death itself. I don't see how so many see it as a horrible thing to have.



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09 Apr 2015, 7:43 pm

Sympathy without action is pity. That dear girl did not need anyone's pity; she needed someone to intervene with patience and compassion to show her that life as an Aspie can be rewarding. Compassionate intervention should have been taken.

We don't need sympathy, either. We need people who care, who treasure us as unique individuals, and who don't treat us as pitiful victims beyond help.

She needed love. Enduring, patient, steadfast love from someone who was involved in her life, and who was willing to sacrifice his or her own dreams for the sake of one lonely child.



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09 Apr 2015, 8:04 pm

She needed to receive on a regular basis children and young people need for emotional well-being: acceptance, affection, approval, appreciation and attention (the good kind), safety, loving kindness and respect, and she needed those from her parents first and foremost. They didn't have to be perfect, only "good enough" parents.

We can't know what happened in the day to day fabric of her life, though the horror of the suicide is so awful that expressing sorrow for the vastly premature termination of her life helps me assimilate the immensity of her death.

Obviously an article like this can't even begin to tell the whole story of her life, with all the threads of the tapestry, its central picture and main themes. Though I think we can make a few informed guesses nevertheless, good enough guesses perhaps. It's hard not to feel very angry sometimes. The waste, oh the waste...



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09 Apr 2015, 8:10 pm

Fnord wrote:
Sympathy without action is pity. That dear girl did not need anyone's pity; she needed someone to intervene with patience and compassion to show her that life as an Aspie can be rewarding. Compassionate intervention should have been taken.

We don't need sympathy, either. We need people who care, who treasure us as unique individuals, and who don't treat us as pitiful victims beyond help.

She needed love. Enduring, patient, steadfast love from someone who was involved in her life, and who was willing to sacrifice his or her own dreams for the sake of one lonely child.


Seconded.

I was diagnosed at a similar age. What I needed was explanation, understanding, and support. What I received was a vacuum. I was not suicidal from diagnosis, but because of everyone keeping me at a distance, and never explaining things to me. It was everyone's reaction to me that hurt me.



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09 Apr 2015, 8:35 pm

Same thing happened in Sweden about a year ago.

http://www.aftonbladet.se/nyheter/sjalvmordenblandunga/article18289123.ab

Really sad that some people think having a diagnosis makes you unable to have a life at all and that there is no point of living.



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09 Apr 2015, 9:06 pm

To be told essentially that you have a disorder that is life-long and will always trouble you and keep you distanced from those closest to you and you can't share how you feel with anyone.... I feel that way every day, some days worse than others. Somehow I can forget for a while and enjoy some of the things I like about myself. I really wish there was some way that Elsbeth could have forgotten it for long enough to begin to cope with it in her own way. I also wish that autism was seriously not considered "bad' , that popular culture doesn't call people autistic instead of other words to mean stupid, etc. I don't know if it's the exposure to the syndrome of late that has caused all this trouble, but there are so many misunderstandings of the condition that it's staggering. I wouldn't dream of admitting to anyone I don't know well that I'm on the spectrum. I wish for there to be in the world extreme tolerance and acceptance of differences so that we can nourish EVERYONE to their fullest potential.



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09 Apr 2015, 9:11 pm

I agree with all of you and can relate to your struggles with those horrible people. Or with those horrible things those people, whatever they were like, did, said, thought and felt about your autism.

I was also treated like I had something wrong with me and like I was a complete fuck-up. I was labeled as incompetent at this or that just because I was autistic. It was so untrue and degrading. I wasn't suicidal, but that was only because I was afraid of death. And if I was dead, I could never prove them wrong.