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Percy14
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Joined: 6 Jun 2015
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07 Jul 2015, 10:50 am

The little boy I work with, age 7, struggles with frustration when something doesn't work the way he wants. He won't accept help when he needs it and will grab things out of my hands. He doesn't realize how others around him feel about a project when we're working together and at times just takes it and walks away when he wants to be done. He's not used to saying please and thank you. He'll whine, cry and throw fits when he can't get something to work or doesn't get his way. This is all due to the struggle with social interaction that is common I'm sure, but I don't know how to help him. I don't think he gets the same reinforcements when I'm not there. Any suggestions on how to help without sounding like I'm scolding or correcting him?



SocOfAutism
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07 Jul 2015, 11:16 am

I suggest just telling him in plain language what's up. If he's frustrated he's probably smart. Our pediatrician told us if we didn't keep challenging our son and acknowledging his intelligence he would turn into a "supervillian" (lol).

Let's say there's a project where you do something with an object, then he helps, then you do whatever and it's done. Explain it to him beforehand, then tell him what're you're doing as you're doing it, and give him a lot of praise for his help.

As for the please and thank you, I'd make sure to say please and thank you to him and then also remind him to say please and thank you when he's speaking to other people. I'm not sure I would make him say please and thank you directly to you. To me, that seems a little rude. If you want kids to use manners, you have to be polite to them. Some adults do this and some don't. I happen to remember when adults were rude to me when I was a child, even as young as this one you're talking about, and I would make it a point to act up around them.

You didn't mention if this kid was an autie, aspie or neurotypical. If the kid is an autie, keep in mind that he may have a lot of sensory issues or other things he's dealing with, so something that may seem relatively simple may just be too much for him. So in this case, it just might take him longer. If he's an aspie or neurotypical, he should be able to do what you're talking about if you change up your methods in dealing with him. I think your first instincts are right-in any case a scolding or correcting tone wouldn't help.