Should I just shave my head?
I've always hated my hair, it's lank and flat and naturally greasy. My medication gives me night sweats which basically makes it look gross overnight and I cannot bear to wash it regularly, i hate showers but my hair takes up most of the time in there. It just exasperates me. Ive sometimes imagined shaving it all off and wearing different beautiful wigs on the occassions I leave the house.
Here are the pros as I see it:
Easy to manage
Cooler at night
Hair always looks great
Cons Im worried about:
Maybe I'd accidentally feel worse about myself
I'd make my parents furious (im 28 though)
Shaved head, female-bodied individual here. 25, not with parents.
I had liked the idea for a while before it happened. There have been several extremely attractive famous women who have done it and almost every single time it does not destroy a single part of their beauty or even their femininity. Natalie Portman's character in V for Vendetta is the main one to convince me in that respect and I actually get compared to her now (my facial profile, yes, but if they mean from the front then they are silly).
The tipping point was the major depression and the fact that my hair clumped overnight. Long story short, not bathing and having such hair makes it very hard to deal with.
So, I said to my flatmate/carer "Grab the razors" and off it came.
I was worried people might mistake me for a neo-nazi because of my boots. That hasn't happened and when I approach people to talk to them - yes, amazingly this occurs if I've had a drink - they are lovely. They will either not mention it, compare me to a pretty shaved headed female, or in one case make a light-hearted joke and then apologise insanely, telling me they are Canadian.
When people either make a joke or a statement they feel might offend (and they haven't) they will say something along the lines of "I know you must have a good reason". My thought has been along the lines of, why should there be a reason? However, I sometimes tell them the depression bit but assure them I liked the look anyway.
Worked out that maybe they think I might be preparing for chemo, shaved my head for charity, or have begun to form alopecia. Something like that.
Now, I live in a relatively friendly capital full of snobs and tourists. Maybe I get by easier like that. There are odd people popping up here and there a lot during Fringe season. So it may be more accepting. Consider your area.
As for parents:
You are older than me, their opinion on this particular aspect of your life should have no bearing. However, I like creative solutions so...
What I would do is find images of all those beautiful and still feminine women. It's a portfolio. Bonus points either for celebs your parents actually like or for any you may resemble. This is simply to illustrate the point that it is possible.
There are also apps on line to "see what you would look like bald". I don't think they are entirely accurate or can truly show it as they are not "in motion". If you find a decent one and it actually looks good, you can consider showing it. Don't feel bad if it is awful though - it's the same with me. You need to pick the right picture, the right face, the right this or that. It's an hassle.
Next for the portfolio is the finding of and showing cheap but nice wigs. I have two that fit and one that was too small (the Usagi one from Sailor Moon ). These wigs cost between £12 - £15 and that was with postage. People have mistaken it for real hair, so the long bright red anime wig gets a lot of praise. Try to avoid whipping it off to show them it's a wig; pain in the butt to keep putting it back on right.
If you want to leave it at the portfolio, write down what is bothering you, why you would like their support, and how you understand it might be a bit awkward at first. All the normal empathy stuff. You should probably double-check it and have somebody trustworthy look over it.
But a step even further is to buy a wig in advance, make sure you fit it right with a hair net, and show them it, maybe without the mention of the shave yet. When they have seen it a few times and like it, then you go for it. Because hey, you would technically still have "hair" available, right?
It's possible that the wig trick would be enough. It highly depends on your parents.
Some say that not many females suit the look but that's societal gender role nonsense. A friend of a friend actually copied me and is now shaved. She had liked the pictures so I think I inspired or encouraged.
PM me for advice or whatnot. Even willing to share a prettier picture of me. I'm average, it's not about beauty, it's about the fact that I still clearly look feminine although if I tried I could pass as masculine, though that's about clothes, etc.
Edit on maybe worse about yourself: Not with a few lovely wigs you won't! You can change length, style, colour at whim. You will have to learn how to groom them unless you pass them to somebody who can and buy new ones each time. Not great resource management but if you can't find the will to learn or somebody to do it, it's a possibility.
_________________
Let's simply agree to disagree.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last edited by NyxBean on 27 Jul 2015, 1:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I agree, it would be less drastic, a good compromise. And of course it does grow back. My hair was tons easier to manage when I got a crew cut.
At 28 years old, I'd have hoped your parents would want you to have the freedom to choose your own hairstyle. Anyway, once it's done, they can't turn back the clock. They can whinge but they can't stop you.
i shaved most of my head, the right side and the back, but i have a very long part left in the front left, it looks like this:
only reversed.
i had to cut it because i wasn't taking care of it, its much easier now.
_________________
Obsessing over Sonic the Hedgehog since 2009
Diagnosed with Aspergers' syndrome in 2012.
Diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 severity without intellectual disability and without language impairment in 2015.
DA: http://mephilesdark123.deviantart.com
androbot01
Veteran
Joined: 17 Sep 2014
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,746
Location: Kingston, Ontario, Canada
for years i had long hair, and then about a year ago i got really tired of having to take care of it and shaved it all off.
it was awesome, i didn't have to wash it or brush it or do anything, didn't have to move it out of my eyes every two seconds, didn't have to wait for hours for it to dry after i got it wet.
after a while it made me kind of self conscious since i looked like a guy with all my hair gone, so i decided to grow it back out. it's about shoulder length now.
i should have just kept it shaved, hair is too much of a hassle to care what other people think.
_________________
life is a game