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baramy
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21 Sep 2015, 4:48 am

Hello to all, I am new here and joined because I believe my son (7) may have Aspergers. He has several of the, shall we say, idiosyncracies of Aspergers but some things that make it seem like maybe not. This may get long.
First, let me say that he is having trouble in school (2nd grade) because he has a hard time writing and drawing. He gets frustrated and just refuses to do it when he is in school and trying to get him to do his homework is painful. He will sit there in front of his homework and start playing with his pencils, making noises and apparently off in his own little imaginary world. (The teacher says he sometimes does this during class).
He has several motor issues: difficulty writing, riding a bike (can't), swinging on swings (just now starting to be able), and he runs in a very immature manner (standing straight up and doesn't really stretch out his legs). He also does not participate in any sports and isn't interested. He has tried on occasion but then just goes off on his own. I think because he finds it difficult.
When in a group of kids he often goes off to play by himself. He has one friend who plays with him sometimes but since all he ever wants to play or talk about is Minecraft, sometimes the other kids go off and do other things.
He has had problems in the past being bullied and has even gone to a psychologist to help with his motor difficulties. She hasn't said anything about Aspergers but she only sees him in the office and he is very comfortable with her so his other idiosyncracies don't show up as much. Also, I haven't mentioned some of the other things to her because I just thought that they were part of his personality.
He is pretty literal about things and sometimes I have to explain things like sayings to him. Once I do he understands and remembers them.
He dislikes tags in his clothes, anything in his shoes or wearing jeans or anything scratchy and will sometimes get very upset about it.
He will have meltdowns if there has been a sudden change in plans. Things seem to have gotten better but I think that's mostly because I've learned how to deal with it by making sure he knows what is going to happen first.
He has sensory overload issues if we are in a place with a lot of noise or that is overcrowded and will often meltdown... yet if it's something he really wants to do he manages to grit his teeth and get through it.
And yet, he has no problem with eye contact or physical contact with his family. He does however dislike when someone says hello to him and often will not respond. (Some days are better than others). Once someone has his confidence though he has no problems. He often won't respond even to other kids he knows.
And yet, he is very expressive when he talks and reads. Even though he mostly chooses to talk about Minecraft and everything in his life has to tie into it somehow. He doesn't talk in a monotone but has a very matter-of-fact way of speaking. Almost as if he were lecturing.
He often says all the other kids hate him (they don't and often ask him to come play but he will refuse to).
He has a hard time understanding when to move on. If playing or joking around, he doesn't get it when the other person is tired of it.
He's very sensitive though and will cry at a sad film.
He's very disorganized and often forgets his books at school.
He is just starting 2nd grade but tested at a 5th grade reading level but has a hard time understanding time: days, weeks, months, minutes, hours. For some reason he is having a hard time with the concept.
And yet, there are days when everything seems fine and normal and I think I must be nuts to be considering having him tested for Aspergers.
Everything I read says that children with Aspergers speak in a monotone and won't make eye contact. He doesn't have a problem with that though.
Obviously I'm not asking for a diagnosis, just a general opinion about whether it could be or I'm just being paranoid. If he does have Aspergers, I want to make sure he gets the help he needs.



Kiriae
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21 Sep 2015, 5:42 am

baramy wrote:
Everything I read says that children with Aspergers speak in a monotone and won't make eye contact. He doesn't have a problem with that though.

I have Asperger and I don't speak in monotone (unless I'm under sensory overload) and my way of speech is rather expressive. I developed a slight foreign accent though but I am not sure when it become visible. It was first pointed out to me when I was already 19 but I can hear it in a tape I recorded when I was 16 too (oldest tape with my voice I could find) so it must have started earlier than that.

I appear not to have problem with eye contact and I was making eye contact as a kid too. It isn't uncomfortable - I just don't see much information there. I could say I look in the direction of someone eyes but I don't see them because I am focused on my thoughts. I am visual thinker so my mental images overlap what I see physically.



baramy
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21 Sep 2015, 6:01 am

So do you think that it could still be Aspergers based on what I wrote before? To be honest, I'm pretty sure I have Aspergers but I had a much more difficult time as a child than he does. Maybe because I recognize in him those things he has difficulty with and so I am better able to help him.



Fraljmir
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21 Sep 2015, 8:04 am

It's impossible to know from text alone, but based on the reading I've done over the past month or two about Aspergers and other developmental disorders, I'd say it's likely that he has Aspergers- or at the very least some traits. Obviously there are a few things that don't "match up" with the Aspergers/ASD criteria, as you mentioned, but not all of the criteria needs to be met to be diagnosed with Aspergers.

I'd say based on what you've wrote, that it's worth getting him checked with the psychologist. I may not be the best person to recommend this however, as I'm currently in the process of getting diagnosed myself, so I'm perhaps not as knowledgeable as some others here are.



Jensen
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21 Sep 2015, 8:40 am

Nobody displays ALL the characteristics. Aspies as well as other autistics can be fully capable of keeping eye contact and being social. ASD covers a wide variety of combinations of traits, quirks, handicaps and strengths.
Many of these traits will alllmost only show in stressful, unpredictable situations.

That said, I dare think, that your boy seems to display a Collection of traits very typical of Aspergers/HFA.


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