What I should bring up when trying to get diagnosed again

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One of the problems is that there's no one that knows me very well, due to my social impairments. There's no one alive anymore that knew me very well as a child--I might possibly get this one woman to answer some questios though, as we went to school together and were friends off and on. She did say that I reacted badly to change in the fifth grade, something I never remembered (or thought was due to anxiety, like being moved to a desk by someone that would tease me, or being afraid I missed an assignment if a class was rescheduled or something.)

I should believe them and sometimes do, but I keep hearing Aspies say all the time they were misdiagnosed by doctors, especially other female Aspies. I also keep hearing more and more additions to what are considered AS traits. A lot of Aspies have fewer social problems than I do. What else would cause someone to have social problems and not be able to make friends from the age of 5 onwards? (Before age 5 my parents didn't really encourage or even hardly allow me to play with other kids, and I was an only child. My dad had OCD and was extremely afraid of germs and catching colds, so didn't let me play with kids much before I went to school. Could such a thing really cause someone to develop AS-like symptoms? I don't think so....)

Also I'm afraid someone will surprise me years from now and tell me I must have AS, and then insist I'm in denial if I say I considered that I might have it, but was told otherwise by several doctors. Have any of you ever seen posts by someone who insists their boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife must have AS, and not want to consider it may be something else? I even saw such a thread on an avoidant personality disorder forum. Some people seem to want their partner to be AS. And sometimes if someone broke up with them, they want to say that person must be AS because they were unavailable emotionally or something, or that a non-AS person wouldn't have broken up with them.

I just feel like I want to know on my own if I'm AS, not have someone force me to go for a diagnosis because it'll make them feel better

It also might help at work, even on my present job, to explain why I can't seem to handle anything that isn't completely straightforward or where I need to converse outside of a certain known area. People think I'm just doing it, particularly the owner of the company who is a very impatient persron. If I have to have everything drawn out for me, he knows I'm probably somewhat intelligent so probably thinks I'm just doing it to annoy him (he's easily annoyed, and has had a lot of problems with people getting pissed off at him and quitting). Also maybe they'd see that I shouldn't be working in a receptionist position, even backup. If I find another job there almost certainly will be other such problems, or problems iwth co-workers not liking me, or thinking I'm trying to screw them or rat them out when I'm not. (I'm probably especially worried in this job because there is a backstabber who quit but is working as a consultant, and everyone is walking on eggs around her---the employees because we think she'll tell some BS about us to the owner; and the owner because he's afraid she'll sue him.)

I've had problems with social skills ever since I started school--before that I didn't get to play wiht kids much, though my parents did have adult visitors. I was OK with them, but probably didin't really have social skills, just was entertaining. I did have a larger vocabulary than other kids my age, though I don't think I was a little professor either. But I was around adults all the time. As soon as I was thrust into groups of other kids, I was socially anxious and soon this spread to all areas of my life, so that I was afraid to speak up around adults as well.

Have you checked out the symptoms for Avoidant Personality Disorder? If I'm remembering right, you said one doctor said you had that and OCD? Not saying you don't have AS, but check out those symptoms too to see if they fit better or worse (or other anxiety disorders too).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_p ... y_disorder

Personally I didn't know what the "point" of this boy was when I was 2 or 3 (my mom had the son of a minister come over to play, and I didn't "get" it). But I did then have friends in grade school.

As an AS woman I can relate Nora. Female AS is still kind of a mystery cause the signs can be a little different and AS has been more associated with males. The medical community can be very frustarting. Its possible they diagnosed you correct, its also possible they're wrong.

Do a recap of your life, behaviors, struggles in school and relationships etc. . . do it like a timeline, start back as far as you can remember, preschool or whatever. That should help you get a better look at yourself and also make everything fresh in your mind so you're better able to communicate to a Dr. You could ever get your school records to look over.

It can also be hard to diagnose females cause over time we try really hard to introvert our issues. If you're suppressing yourself then doctors might not be able to see it and when you try to explain, it comes out as a weepy meltdown that can be misunderstood.

The above isn't really an obstacle in assessing whether or not you have AS. The most important thing is to find a psychologist who specializes in AS/autism. Psychologists, like doctors, tend to have specializations, and only relatively superficial knowledge about everything that lies outside their specialization. So if a psychologist who specializes in AS tells you you have AS, you can rely on that, and if s/he tells you you don't have AS, you can rely on that, too.
You will find a list of such psychologists by clicking here.

Last time I checked AS was just a lack of social ritual and it was the parts of High Functioning Autism mixed in with AS that caused the 'eccentricities' thus why AS is on the Autistic Spectrum.

This very vaguely generalized of course, like mentioned here though AS doesn't have to do with feeling it has to do with thinking.

Last edited by agentcyclosarin on 02 May 2007, 10:18 am, edited 1 time in total.

have you by any chance also checked into other disorders? it's amazing how many overlap when it comes to social anxiety and how you react when things happen and such, and can cause the same results.

I'm going to talk to my therapist tonight about the possibility for me-but am trying to keep an open mind. I mean, I have and always have met all of the criteria, but I don't know if I'm just looking at it too close or not-I don't want to block off other possibilities entirely, just in case. I'm pretty sure, almost 100% positive, and my bf admits my observations of myself are dead on and always have been even before looking into any of this stuff, so I won't be surprised if I don't wind up being diagnosed with it by the end of all of it... because of the little things I do a lot, I would be surprised to find out otherwise. Before I found out about AS (well, read up on it and researched, I should say) I thought it was highly unlikely. It was my therapist commenting on things I was doing in his office (leg bouncing, hand "stretching" as I call it, the non-stop thought process, and the fact that I look at my brain as a big riddle I want to solve logically) that made me look more into what he was noticing than what I was noticing-to me everything he noticed was "normal", and I didn't realize that most people don't think the way I do or do the things I do. But I'm not closing off to the possibility regardless. It could very well be 3 or 4 things overlapping and causing mixed symptoms that just resemble AS.

Hi Norah, I didn't notice before that you'd previously been on WP as dontwanttoknow. So this AS anxiety has obviously been plaguing you for some time. I agree that diagnosing AS in women is very difficult, especially if there are other issues involved, such as high anxiety, OCD, etc) as in your case. Like RaeRae says, sit down and write up a timeline from as far back as you can remember all the way up to the present, but only list your neurological/autistic type struggles. Completely leave out any anxiety/OCD/depression, etc.etc.etc. problems - leave your feelings out of it completely!! !! I can't stress this enough to you. AS is a neurological issue - not an emotional one. If you go back into this doctor's office crying and talking about how you had no friends in school and now you're afraid someone at work is going to get mad at you for doing something wrong, you're gonna get the same old assessment that you've gotten all those times before - anxiety, social avoidant, etc. If you really think you have AS, you've gotta quit focusing on your emotional struggles and concentrate on determining whether or not you meet the base criteria!! Everything you've mentioned so far that you struggle with is anxiety-related, not AS!! I told you this weeks ago when you were dontwanttoknow, and now I'm telling you again...get on an antidepressant to give you some emotional distance from this AS issue, and then after a few months revisit it again and see how you feel!

Yes, I know I do have Avoidant Personality Disorder--I have every one of the criteria, as well as social anxiety disorder. I really had "a-ha!" moments when I read about them like many people here have have about AS. But I still think that social problems I had due to AS caused me to develop AvPD.

I've always thought someone could have AS without having some of the other symptoms. How would you explain someone that didn't get social things, or got them but couldn't fit in somehow, everywhere they went, or otherwise was awkward socially? Do the other symptoms (not liking change, thinking logically, etc.) always have to be a part of AS? I know the DSM-IV says so, but I'm sure they're working on revising that.

Thanks--the only thing is, I can't really tell what's emotional/anxiety related, and what might be neurological. For instance, I've heard parents of AS kids say their kids experience a lot of anxiety at a young age. Did anyone here have that? Is it from not understanding people well, or is excessive anxiety a part of AS for some people?

I did have a couple neurological-type things I told the doctors about--a thing where I hold my hand in front of my face when I'm thinking, and chewing the inside of my mouth. They didn't seem to think that was enough. Things I thought were possible sensory problems when I was a kid (not liking to get soap in my eyes, being kind of a picky eater at a couple times in my childhood) they said was common to lots of kids. I had some superstitions and rituals about dates and numbers after my mom died, but they seemed to think it was stress or a grief reaction; plus I was never really obsessive about it, it was just more of a pastime that I'd drop whenever there was anything else to do.

I think one of the main reasons they don't diagnose me is because of the extreme overprotection I had as a kid as a result of my dad's probable OCD-related fear of colds and infections and germs. They can't tell whether maybe I didn't get a chance to develop socially and then developed social anxiety which made it even harder to develop socially.

I still think I must be somewhere on the autistic spectrum. I still think they'll somehow decide that anxiety-ridden people who are awkward socially, have trouble getting into conversations of more than 2 people, etc. are on the spectrum somewhere, and they'll have a name for such people.

Yes, someone with AS is usually very concrete in their thinking. Surely we can be spontaneous from time to time but its rarely done without sever thought beforehand/during or just downright panic.

I do think you suit Avoidant Personality Disorder from what I've read, if AvPD is serious enough it also can be very damaging and can impair one's ability to function. Pitting the blame on AvPD would be much more logical than going "woe is me, I'm so alone and unable to do anything because I have AS, its not my fault I feel and act like this, blame AS!" I mean we could all do that really. It looks like you're trying to find validity as to why you act and feel certain ways and are unable to connect, AvPD does this, it DOES enable you to connect, it DOES cause social anxiety, it DOES cause disassociation, it is NOT neurological but that does NOT mean that it isn't as serious. As others say, check in to your options and look around. Most of all be honest to yourself and don't feel "down" that you don't have AS, just because you don't have AS doesn't mean you can't talk to one.

It seems you're seeking a clique to fit in because of your social impairments but it doesn't look like you fit the profile as much as you might fit a personality disorder. AS isn't a personality issue its neurological.

It DOES look like AvPD can be acquired. I guess I kind of have that too, though I miss a few symptoms. With ME, the reason I decline social involvement, and view myself as socially inept, is because I HAVE had serious problems there. Believe me, I tried everything I could think of! BOOKS, TAPES, CLASSES, COMMON INTERESTS, GROUPS, asking around, watching, etc... And, it turns out, I DID go to a psychiatrist for it in the first grade. It seemed more LUCK than anything, and I never had enough of the right kind of luck. I tried to be discrete and delibrate in helping others for the same reason. I TRY to maintain a reserved, self-restrained demeanor around others because of the earlier problems with being too honest, etc.... But with me, I can track that back to overcompensating for, or avoiding problems with, AS symptoms. AS can't actually be acquired.

So can you track it back to a time. I mean some AvPD symptoms DO run counter to AS! If acquired, it is possible they COULD be overcompensations.

Steve

You mean for friends? That's how it seems to me too.



Which AvPD symptoms run counter to AS? I'm curious about it

According to wikipedia(AS differences are my opinion based on what I have seen/felt):

Close allegiance to family and/or a few close friends; tend to be homebodies

AS people don't necessarily have such an allegiance to family

Sensitive and concerned about what other think of them. Tend to be self-conscious and worriers

AS people are often blunt

Very discreet and deliberate in dealing with others

AS people at least start out being blunt, etc....

Tend to maintain a reserved, self-restrained demeanor around others

AS people don't necessarily

Characteristics of the Avoidant Personality Disorder:

Unwilling to become involved with people unless certain of being liked; easily hurt by criticism or disapproval

I think AS people may start out trying!

Fear being embarrassed by blushing, crying, or showing signs of anxiety in front of other people

I don't think AS people do.

Tend to be underachievers, and find it difficult to focus on job tasks or hobbies

AS people tend to excel in areas they specialize in, and often others.

Steve