SocOfAutism wrote:
It's also important to remember that some people suffer a great deal by "passing" or appearing to not have problems while communicating. It's exhausting, draining, and can even put distance between the person who passes and those around them. A person who can successfully blend in with the majority population is even in jeopardy of losing touch with their own identity. Who am I? What do I really like? When am I really comfortable? This is a sad state that many people have to deal with- not just "successful" autistics, but people on the LBGTQ spectrum who pass, people in a race minority who pass, and people who pass as a social class that they are not.
Appearances seem to be all there is when you are looking AT a person, but we have to consider what it might be like for the person inside. They could be suffering far worse than we are. Or be in a wonderful state of being, despite looking pitiful. You just can't judge from appearances.
Thank you for posting this. I had chronic chest pains from about age 13-23, which turned into more severe bodily pains, due to anxiety from constant overload and always feeling like I had to be someone else, because I had no idea why I was different. There was nothing "wrong" with me during medical evaluations, and no one ever suggested even panic attacks or anything else. So people can need support and never get it, especially if you're used to pushing yourself and pretending.
I think this also brings up the question of nurturing and child rearing, which never seem to be a part of these discussions. Growing up with some very bitter narcissistic people, I learned pretty quickly to give what is supposed to be the right answer. That doesn't mean I don't have communication issues, sensory issues, etc. If I wanted to sleep with the window shut in summer because it bothered me, it just wants going to happen, unless I wanted to be told how horrible I was as a person. I'm sure a few others here can relate.