Anyone else tend to do nothing all day?
mr_bigmouth_502
Veteran
Joined: 12 Dec 2013
Age: 30
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 7,028
Location: Alberta, Canada
Tollorin
Veteran
Joined: 14 Jun 2009
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,178
Location: Sherbrooke, Québec, Canada
Jacoby
Veteran
Joined: 10 Dec 2007
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,284
Location: Permanently banned by power tripping mods lol this forum is trash
Far too often. I hate school, it's incredibly stressful for me but it is at least something that gets you out of the house and around people. This winter break has been terrible for me, I've fallen out of good habits into bad ones and have had to deal with a lot personal family issues and of course just the entire miserable holidays playing out in the background of it all. School is starting soon, I both dread it and can't wait to finally be able to settle into a routine. I'd say my anxiety has gotten worse, when I have to deal with a major stressor like school I tend to neglect other aspects of myself and withdraw as much as possible. I do well at school but I can't leave the house for a week once it's over, not good. I wish I was less of a sick person.
Meistersinger
Veteran
Joined: 10 May 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,700
Location: Beautiful(?) West Manchester Township PA
Right now, I'm hauling people back and forth to work at Church and Dwight's facility in Jackson Township, PA. While they're paying me 10.00 per day for mileage, once two of my current rides get their own wheels, I'm giving it up, as I'm not getting much sleep because of the oddball hours I have to pickup these people, my car is in need of major repair (I need a transmission replaced), and I may be moving out of the area. The other ride I provide (I take this one to Harrisburg) has yet to pay me anything, whether it is taking him to Harrisburg or driving him around York to some of the home remodeling jobs he has managed to leave screwed up, and his brother (who's a licensed contractor) has to clean up after.
I just discovered I suffer from RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria). Basically I avoid stepping outside my comfort zone out of the fear of failure and rejection. The only time I can get things done is when it's right next to the deadline and anxiety creeps in. It is a really crippling condition and perhaps you suffer from this as well.
I can relate to this feeling of fearing failure in my youth, perhaps even up until 6 years ago. However, the two best parts about grad school are: 1.) that I am seldom left with nothing to do and 2.) that I have had my ass kicked with failure so many times that it stopped hurting at some point.
Though it isn't fun, failure is good. It is a result. It is the fruit of labor. Failure is the opportunity to learn something.
I just discovered I suffer from RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria). Basically I avoid stepping outside my comfort zone out of the fear of failure and rejection. The only time I can get things done is when it's right next to the deadline and anxiety creeps in. It is a really crippling condition and perhaps you suffer from this as well.
I can relate to this feeling of fearing failure in my youth, perhaps even up until 6 years ago. However, the two best parts about grad school are: 1.) that I am seldom left with nothing to do and 2.) that I have had my ass kicked with failure so many times that it stopped hurting at some point.
Though it isn't fun, failure is good. It is a result. It is the fruit of labor. Failure is the opportunity to learn something.
This is true for some people. Successful people are those who are able to learn and build from their own failures. But not everybody responds to failure in the same way. Failure can crush a lot of people and throw them into a spiraling state of depression for quite a long time. For others, the mere concept of failing is enough to make them depressed, which prevents them from ever taking failure on. So they never progress forward in their lives.
Hate to admit it, but i'm one of them. I've already failed in my own mind before I even try, so I just don't bother trying. I hate myself for it, which only makes it worse.
_________________
Prof-Diagnosed: Aspergers Syndrome (I still call it that!), Dyspraxia, Dysgraphia
Self-diagnosed: ADHD-PI, Social Anxiety, Depression
Treatment: 5-HTP, Ginkgo Biloba, Omega-3, Pro-Biotics, Multi Vitamin, Magnesium
Meistersinger
Veteran
Joined: 10 May 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,700
Location: Beautiful(?) West Manchester Township PA
I appreciate the discussion of failure, and how we respond to it.
For me, if there's something I've consistently failed at all my life, despite my best efforts, I see it not so much as a 'failure', but as an unrealistic goal to begin with. And so my focus is to set more realistic goals, that I'm able to succeed at.
I'd not heard of RSD before... In my case, I can point to situations where there was zero chance of failure or rejection (for example, staying at a relative's house and taking care of their cat for the weekend) - but I completely panicked and couldn't do it, simply because it was a change in my routine and familiar setting, which is more of an ASD issue.
I try to keep busy these days and in any case have obligations I can never ignore for too long, but it can still be really hard to stay focused and dedicated to a task that isn't one of my hobbies or current fixations. I always tend to be in my worst moods or simply dissociative when I am doing nothing.
_________________
On hiatus thanks to someone in real life breaching my privacy here, without my permission! May be back one day. +tips hat+
Monday to Friday: I get up at 06:20, start work at 06:45, finish work at 15:30, get home at 15:40, catch up on household chores for an hour, start cooking dinner at 17:00 (I love cooking and find it really relaxing), finish eating dinner at around 18:30 or so. Saturday: I get up at 08:20 and then coach kids at a climbing wall from 09:45 to 12:00. As well as all that I'm a carer for my wife who has multiple sclerosis (she has a wheelchair or uses a stick, has aphasia so has trouble speaking and is partially blind) and a father to two kids.
That's not me bragging or asking for sympathy it's just to put into perspective the following...
From Monday to Friday from 18:30 to midnight and then 12:00 on Saturday to midnight on Sunday, I try to do bugger all, apart from read, go for walks, watch tv and films. Sometimes other stuff gets in the way but I LOVE my quiet time.
Once a year, in the spring, my wife goes on a week's holiday to her cousin's house. I try to take that week off from work and apart from driving her there and back, which takes a couple of days, I consider it my respite week where I do what I want - usually very little
_________________
Diagnosed: Asperger's Syndrome (ICD-10)
Self-Diagnosed: Aphantasia
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 152 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 46 of 200
Listener of all things noisy, viewer of all things bloody, writer of all things sh*t.
I often have an urge to be in bed in the day when I'm not at work, just surfing the internet on my phone or watching DVDs or sleeping. It makes me feel safe and relaxed. It's rather impulsive, because I know I should be doing useful things like housecleaning. I try to force myself to get out of my bed and do something practical.
_________________
Female
Im not in work and find it difficult to drag myself from bed. If it wasn't for my girlfriend nagging me, I doubt I'd get out of bed everyday. I'm not sure but it seems like I have a problem with the transistion from sleeping to awake and vice versa. I never want to go to bed but once in bed never want to get out.
_________________
R Tape loading error, 0:1
Hypocrisy is the greatest luxury. Raise the double standard
Yeah, I don't like going to bed either. It still takes me hours to fall asleep most of the time, even if i've turned everything off. My mind just seems to race. But getting up in the morning at a specific time (and doing in consistantly) is even tougher. I have no proper sleep routine. I have no routine when it comes to anything really.
_________________
Prof-Diagnosed: Aspergers Syndrome (I still call it that!), Dyspraxia, Dysgraphia
Self-diagnosed: ADHD-PI, Social Anxiety, Depression
Treatment: 5-HTP, Ginkgo Biloba, Omega-3, Pro-Biotics, Multi Vitamin, Magnesium
From Monday to Friday from 18:30 to midnight and then 12:00 on Saturday to midnight on Sunday, I try to do bugger all, apart from read, go for walks, watch tv and films. Sometimes other stuff gets in the way but I LOVE my quiet time.
I hear you on that. In my case, my 'schedule' was from age 3 to 39, I was beyond exhausted from trying to do everything people expected of me (and failing anyway). And at 40 deciding - doing nothing is wonderful!