Noisy Neighbors and Distress

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Does anyone else ever feel distressed or have panic attacks when their neighbors are noisy?

My downstairs neighbors often play music very loudly or blast their television. It doesn't bother me at first, but after 30 minutes to an hour I start to feel really anxious. Sometimes I'll even have panic attacks.

It's even worse when I'm trying to study. More often than not, I'm too nervous to ask them to turn it down.

Yeah, I've had noisy neighbors.

One time, there was (I think it might have even been an autistic) toddler who would scream for hours. Every day. It was driving me nearly out of my mind, and talking to the neighbors didn't help, so I discovered that when I turned up my radio full blast and screamed to the music, the toddler stopped.

Another time, a couple was fighting so loudly that my furniture was shaking ... so I called the cops and reported domestic violence. Cops came and talked to the neighbors, things quieted down.

Another time, there was a super-loud party in the middle of the night, so I told the landlady how close I came to calling the cops ... landlady spoke to the neighbor, and that pretty much solved the problem.

Perhaps some noise cancelling headphones could help you relax?

I had a pile-driver all day long for a few months across the street. They were building a high-rise. I got industrial strength earplugs, over which I put noise-cancelling headphones. It got me through. I hope things go well with you.

My friend had noisy and rude neighbours. At 6am she turned on her sound system with loudness & bass on Max and went to work. After a full day's work, she came home and turned it off. The neighbours turned down their noise.

Sometimes people just don't know and you have to find a way to tell them. Once I said to my noisy upstairs neighbour, "Oh, your son is bigger than I expected. Yesterday you said 'Get back in your crib.'" She went totally pale and the noise stopped.

Yes. I had a noisy neighbour for a few years. He treated his open-sided yard like a mechanic's garage and him and his friends would work on their cars all day and into the night (with spotlights). I had to put up with constant revving engines, powertools, the largest car stereo systems I've ever seen, them blocking my access to my parking space (we are on opposite sides of a narrow lane and they would fill it, sometimes with over 6 cars. I needed 24-hour access to my car as I have a disabled wife who may need to get to hospital quickly if she has a major relapse).

I used to get really, really angry and storm out and shout and scream at them, no matter how many there were. Even during the quiet periods, I would stress about them starting up again. I'm just glad that his wife kicked him out and now it's lovely and quiet.

I've gone out to tell drunk people to shut up and also have stopped an argument between a neighbour and young lad because they were making too much noise.

My stress turns to anger most of the time and I guess I'm lucky that none of the altercations turned physical.

Yes. I have noisy neighbours upstairs who hammer and move furniture around day and night, and who party constantly, often coming home from wherever at around 2.30am, 3am - on goes the music while they drink and scream and laugh.

Then downstairs I've got a couple who scream and shout at each other constantly. They hit each other and slam doors and it often spills out onto the street. When they're not fighting, the woman cooks a lot which smells great but then she uses her blender, often late into the night. For a long time I thought she was using power tools, it's so loud. They used to play loud music too - so loud that my furniture shook and my fireplace vibrated. Thankfully there's music less often from them now.

And then across the hall my other neighbours have a new baby which means I can't sleep in my bedroom. I've been sleeping in my living room for several weeks now.

All this frequently keeps me and my son awake. I live in fear. I dread night time and I dread waking up because it all begins again. I am permanently close to tears and feel very depressed at the moment.

I'm afraid to go and speak to my neighbours, it makes me feel physically sick. Downstairs are Polish and just pretend they don't speak English anyway when I do. Upstairs just ignore me. There's no noise team any more due to cuts which means calling the police. They have other priorities and don't arrive for several hours, if at all, and by the time they do it's often over.

I absolutely believe you when you say it's making you sick. Please take care of yourself. Did you see my note above about construction-quality earplugs (e-Bay)? I got those and then put noise-cancelling headphones over it. If you've a son, he might be glad of a rest too. The earplugs are cheaper and effective if you can't afford both.

Thank you. Unfortunately we've tried earplugs - they were ineffective and so uncomfortable for us both that we were left unable to sleep. I can't stand having things in or around my ears for long and my son seems to feel the same way. I imagine that trying to sleep in noise-cancelling headphones would produce a similar effect.

I had neighbors below me who would play their music real loudly. I talked to the landlord a few times and they still played their music loudly. I tried talking to them once when I finally saw them outside and their excuse was I did elephants upstairs even though I walked normal. I wasn't running or stomping my feet. My husband called the police once and they never came. I had times where I felt like having a meltdown. I once tried to create drama by provoking them to turn their music louder by pounding my feet on the floor so neighbors would come out and bang on the door loudly at them. But that didn't go well.

I shouldn't have to wear ear plugs in my own apartment and then not be able to hear the TV and no way should I have to blare it and then have my next door neighbors suffer.

It would be nice if they could insulate the floors in apartments so it absorbs the sound from walking. I have never lived below any units so I have no idea what footsteps above even sound like. But yet business buildings seem to have a sound barrier between floors because you don't hear their footsteps above you. Why not the same with domestic buildings?

Every noise that my neighbours make annoy me..... no more so than snoring. It's just a subtle repetitive noise.... but I honestly feel like murder whenever I hear it!

Carpets are the usual cure for walking noise, provided there are no loose boards underneath.

I've lived in apartments all my life and Mom taught us never to wear shoes indoors. There was a rubber mat at the front door (inside) and we left our boots there and put on our slippers that were waiting on the mat. Also we learned never to put our heels to the floor. I wonder if that might help?

Earplugs and white noise or something like that help help with drowning people out. I put In earplugs and blast pink noise.

We did have carpet but it was very thin. I would basically have to tip toe to not make any noise which is unreasonable. It's called living and having to tip toe in your own home and walk slowly like you are sneaking is ridiculous. Now if I were playing the music real loudly or had the TV turned up on high volume or were doing jumping jacks or jump rope or work outs where I jump or pound my feet, that would be a different story. But no I was doing normal things that is part of living. The only thing I didn't do was pace. I would catch myself but then stop myself. I also didn't wear shoes but my husband did because of his medical condition and he hardly ever moved except for getting coffee or going to the bathroom or showering or whenever we left our apartment.

But my rule of thumb is always talk to your neighbors first before complaining to the landlord. They might not even realize they are being loud. I once made a mistake of organizing my guest room and organizing my stuff in the closet in there so I was moving stuff and I didn't realize it was loud below me until my landlord asked about "vacuuming at 11 at night." I wasn't so I told her that and then I figured maybe it was me moving stuff around in there is what made the neighbor think that but I wondered by they didn't knock on my door to tell me before telling the landlord. I didn't realize it was loud so I never did it again and I only did it in the day time. If you can't get a hold of your neighbors, I would leave them a note on their door with you name and apartment number which is what I have done before and if nothing changes, then take it to the landlord. I am sure mine purposely didn't answer their door when they would knock so I left them a note and nothing changed so I complained to the landlord. Nothing changed. I was so glad when we finally moved out of there.

Last time I knocked on their door to politely ask them to quiet down they didn't open the door. (I was knocking loudly enough.)

Once I started banging on the floor, and one of them had the audacity to yell "shut up" at me. I decided to take the passive aggressive approach by printing out my state's noise code and slipping it under their door.

But seriously, I might invest in a pair of noise cancelling headphones. That'll at least help me out when I'm trying to study.

I'm glad to know I'm not alone.

I not only had a really bad problem with such neighbors the first time I tried living on my own, blaring their loud, skipping CD all night long while I couldn't sleep, screaming and cursing at me through my window, but their idiotic behavior, being unable to reason with them due to their incomplete brains being ravaged by alcohol, the landlady taking their side, the cops doing nothing, and my parents being unable to help me got me kicked out and taken to the mental ward in the hospital. And they completely got away with it while I looked like the evil, horrible monster.

And now I officially hate the entire human race. I hope those stupid drunken neighbors are dead of alcohol poisoning by now.